Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
Eric Allan Kramer: Little John
Photos
Quotes
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Little John : Let me introduce you to my best friend: Will Scarlet.
Scarlet : Scarlet's my middle name. My full name is Will Scarlet O'Hara.
[pause]
Scarlet : We're from Georgia.
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Robin Hood : Kindly let me pass.
Little John : Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.
[Proudly]
Little John : I made that up.
Robin Hood : It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.
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King Richard : [taking Prince John's crown] You are no longer worthy to wear this sacred symbol of authority.
Prince John : Oh, please have mercy on me, brother. It wasn't my fault. I got some really bad advice from Rottingham.
Blinkin , Ahchoo , Scarlet , Little John , Crowd : [coughs] Bullshit! Bullshit!
King Richard : Brother, you have surrounded your given name with a foul stench!
[to the crowd]
King Richard : From this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Johns!
[the crowd cheering]
Prince John : [yelling] NO!
King Richard : Take him away!
[the Merry Men began to grabbing Prince John]
Prince John : No, wait, wait!
King Richard : Put him in the Tower of London! Make him part of the tour.
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Little John : Let's face it. You've gotta be a man to wear tights!
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Robin Hood : And who might you be?
Little John : Oh, they call me "Little John".
Little John : [Suddenly becomes very concerned] But... but don't let my name fool you! In real life, I'm very *big*.
Robin Hood : I'll take your word for it.
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Rabbi Tuckman : I am Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine and moyel extraordinaire.
Merry Men : 'ello Rabbi!
Rabbi Tuckman : Hello boys!
Robin Hood : A moyel. I don't believe I've ever heard of that profession.
Rabbi Tuckman : A moyel is a very important guy. He makes circumcisions.
Scarlet : What, pray tell, sir, is a circumcision?
Rabbi Tuckman : It's the latest craze. The ladies love it!
Little John : I'll take one!
Ahchoo : Hey, put me down for two!
Robin Hood : I'm game. How's it done?
Rabbi Tuckman : It's a snap.
[demonstrates with a carrot and a miniature guillotine]
Rabbi Tuckman : I take my machine here, I take your little thing, I put it through this hole, and then...
[releases the blade, cutting the end off the carrot]
Rabbi Tuckman : I nip the tip! Who's first?
[groans from the Merry Men]
Little John : I changed me mind!
Ahchoo : I forgot, I already got one.
Blinkin : [puts his hand in the air] Question...
[Ahchoo pulls his arm down silencing him]
Rabbi Tuckman : I gotta start working with a younger crowd.
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Little John : A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up.
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Robin Hood : This is Ahchoo.
Little John : Bless you!
Ahchoo : [laughs] No, that's my name, man. Ahchoo.
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Scarlet : I hope she's still wearing her iron underwear.
Little John : Yeah.