Photos
Quotes
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Heather : Do you live with Michele Weinberger?
Romy : Yeah.
Heather : I just figured she'd be married to Sandy by now.
Romy : Sandy Frink?
Heather : Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook?
Romy : The Frink-a-zoid and Michele... I'm sure! Besides, didn't *you* have a thing for Sandy in high school?
Heather : I did not have a THING! I did not have a thing, I did NOT have a THING! I was VERY much in love with him! VERY much in love and there's a difference!
[to customer behind her]
Heather : There's a difference!
[to Romy]
Heather : There's a difference! I have to go now!
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[Heather thinks she's never made anyone's life hell]
Toby Walters : Since you never got around to it in high school, I was wondering if you would sign my yearbook. And please don't tell me to fuck off, because it really hurts my feelings.
Heather : I hurt your feelings?
Toby Walters : Yeah, all the time.
Heather : Tremendous! That's tremendous! Go get your stupid yearbook, I would be happy to sign it!
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Heather : Why don't you tell everyone I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?
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Heather : Wow, all that time you guys were making my life hell, the A group was doing the same thing to you! I had no idea!
Michele : You know? I bet in high school, everybody made somebody's life hell.
Heather : Nope, sorry, never had the opportunity.
Michele : I bet that's not true...
Heather : You think?
Michele : Oh, yeah, you were really unpleasant.
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Heather : Okay, cowboy, I don't know what your trip is, but if this is some kind of a sick game... If you fuck with me, in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your dick. Capice?
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[the secret of her cigarette paper invention]
Heather : Twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go.
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Heather : [to the cowboy] Why are you tormenting me? Why don't you go fuck a sheep, or your sister, or *yourself*? Braindead redneck asshole!
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Romy : [reading the customer paperwork] Heather? Heather Mooney? From Sagebrush High in Tuscon?
Heather : [disinterested yet quietly anxious] Yeah?
Romy : [excitedly] It's Romy! Romy White!
Heather : [disinterestedly taking a drag from her cigarette] You're shittin' me.
Romy : No! This is so weird - I didn't know you were living in L.A.
Heather : Well, now that you know, will we be getting together a lot?
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Heather : What a waste of a tank of gas!
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Heather : Uh, he's not here. I already asked Toby Dumbfuck.