Eating Out: All You Can Eat (2009)
Rebekah Kochan: Tiffani von der Sloot
Photos
Quotes
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Tiffani von der Sloot : If you think going out on a fake gay date will make me jealous, you're dumber than a flock of Palins.
Ryan : I don't wanna make you jealous, I just wanna piss you off!
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Tiffani von der Sloot : He's never volunteered before.
Harry : Oh, a virgin.
Tiffani von der Sloot : Only if you don't count anal.
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Tiffani von der Sloot : Children are just abortions that eat.
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Ernesto : I want to make many children.
Tiffani von der Sloot : Yes, children. Put children in me now!
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Tiffani von der Sloot : [in the throws of passion] So help me God, if you stop, I'll rip off your dick and shove it in there myself!
Ernesto : Tiffany, we're in a coffin!
Tiffani von der Sloot : Shut up! You're ruining my fantasy!
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Tiffani von der Sloot : Compliments will get you nowhere unless you're straight and hung like Mr. T.
Casey : Damn and damn.
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Tiffani von der Sloot : [in Vietnamese] Pam, Candy, this is the fag who will clean for us and attract gay customers.
Candy : [in Vietnamese] He's too skinny. The gays want more meat on the bone.
Pam : [in Vietnamese] No. Some like to take a twig boy, spread his legs reeeeal wide and snap him in two.
Candy : Oh-ho.
Tiffani von der Sloot : [to Casey, in English] They just said they can't wait to get to know you.
Casey : Oh, cool. Uh, tell 'em I feel the same way.
Tiffani von der Sloot : [in Vietnamese to Pam and Candy] He says treat him nice or he'll call immigration on your asses.
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[Casey questions the necessity of creating a fake Internet identity using pictures of Tiffani's sensuous ex-boyfriend Ryan]
Casey : Why would I want Zack to talk to someone way hotter than I am?
Tiffani von der Sloot : When's the last time you opened up to an ugly stranger? Besides, you just find out what you need to know then Ryan will disappear. A fake profile is the perfect wingman.
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Casey : What kinda straight guy goes on a date with another man?
Tiffani von der Sloot : He was a stripper at a gay bar. He'd clean a toilet with his dick for a dollar.
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Tiffani von der Sloot : [watching Casey and Zack after locking them in a house together] Are they fucking yet?
Ryan : Not even close. Is this gonna work?
Tiffani von der Sloot : Trust me. It's science. If you leave two dicks together, eventually one of them's going to need sucking... like prison.