- Young Cleo: Why rats, Papa?
- Ratcatcher: Rats are the lowliest and most despised of all creatures, my love. But if they have purpose, so do we all.
- Bloodsport: No one likes a show-off.
- Peacemaker: Unless what they're showing off is dope as fuck.
- Bloodsport: [under his breath] Fuck. That's true.
- Sol Soria: The clothes in the boxes is for all of you so you can blend in. That said, the walking tiburon is going to have to stay out of sight.
- King Shark: I wear disguise!
- Ratcatcher II: Awww, you are going to wear disguise?
- King Shark: Si!
- Peacemaker: Hey, he's learning Spanish!
- Ratcatcher II: What kind of disguise?
- King Shark: Fake moustache!
- Ratcatcher II: They call you Peacemaker.
- Peacemaker: I cherish peace with all of my heart. I don't care how many men, women and children I kill to get it.
- Ratcatcher II: [to Polka-Dot Man] I thought you were the crazy one.
- Polka-Dot Man: I am.
- Harley Quinn: TDK stands for The Detachable Kid?
- [sees TDK remove his arms and levitate them to soldiers and slap them mediocrely]
- Harley Quinn: What the fuck?
- Rick Flag: I didn't pick the damn team!
- Rick Flag: Alright, who ate all the fucking empanadas?
- Bloodsport: I had the chicken. Mine were very good.
- Rick Flag: All right, here's the deal. We fail the mission, you die.
- Bloodsport: We find out any information you give is is false, you die.
- Harley Quinn: If we find out you have personalized license plates, you die.
- Rick Flag: What? No.
- Harley Quinn: If you mismatch blacks, you die.
- Rick Flag: No!
- Harley Quinn: If you cough without covering your mouth...
- Rick Flag: Harley. Those last three aren't things. Although, probably don't need to say this, but that isn't an open invitation for you to cough without covering your mouth.
- Amanda Waller: Any questions?
- [long silence]
- King Shark: Hand!
- Amanda Waller: Yes, that is your hand. Very good.
- Blackguard: [looks at Weasel] Is this thing a dog?
- Captain Boomerang: A dog? What kind of dog do you think it is, mate?
- T.D.K.: I'm gonna go with Afghan hound!
- Harley Quinn: Oh my god, you're a werewolf?
- Blackguard: YOU STUCK ME NEXT TO A WEREWOLF? YO MAN LET ME OUT!
- [struggles to get free]
- Rick Flag: Hey, hey! He's not a werewolf, he's a weasel! He's harmless! I mean, he's not harmless, he's killed 27 children, but, you know...
- Rick Flag: [to Ratcatcher II] Ratatouille, what do you got?
- Ratcatcher II: [looking through binoculars and interpreting Sebastian's hand signal as Sebastian is peeking through the window] Third floor hallway's clear. Abner?
- Polka-Dot Man: There doesn't seem to be any incoming traffic.
- King Shark: [on radio] Bird.
- Rick Flag: Nanaue, stay off the comm!
- [King Shark has a false moustache]
- Bloodsport: You still look like you.
- Peacemaker: It's the worst fake moustache I've ever seen.
- Bloodsport: If you followed us, we'd have to kill you, shark-shaped bloke with a moustache creeping up on us like that...
- King Shark: FUCK YOU!
- Amanda Waller: Your mission is to destroy every trace of something known only as Project Starfish. Any questions?
- Peacemaker: [raises hand] Starfish is a slang term for a butthole. Think there's any connection?
- [everyone stares at Peacemaker]
- Amanda Waller: No.
- Harley Quinn: Recently, I made a promise to myself that the next time I got a boyfriend, I'd be on the lookout for red flags. And if I saw any, I would do the healthy thing and I would murder him. And killing kids? Kind of a red flag.
- Bloodsport: Uh, what's with the javelin?
- Harley Quinn: I'm waiting for God to tell me.
- Bloodsport: Jesus Christ!
- Harley Quinn: Yeah. Or Him. Or any of them really.
- Peacemaker: You gotta be kidding me! You're gonna risk the entire mission for a mental defective dressed as a court jester?
- Bloodsport: This coming from a guy that wears a toilet seat on his head?
- Rick Flag: We don't leave one of our own behind!
- Peacemaker: Hey Norman Bates, if that shits contagious, we need to know.
- Polka-Dot Man: It's not.
- Peacemaker: What is it?
- Polka-Dot Man: It's an interdimensional virus
- Peacemaker: Fuck is that?
- Polka-Dot Man: My mother was a scientist at STAR Labs, and she was obsessed with turning me and my brothers and sisters into superheroes. She infected me. Now, if i don't, you know, expel the dots twice a day..
- Bloodsport: Then what?
- Polka-Dot Man: They'll eat me alive.
- Rick Flag: What happened to your brothers and sisters?
- Polka-Dot Man: Some lived. Some died.
- Ratcatcher II: And your mom, where is she now?
- Polka-Dot Man: Everywhere.
- [From his pov he sees everyone as his mother]
- Bloodsport: Look, I know Flag wanted to give the drive to the press, but we just saved a whole bloody city. We can't have it all.
- Harley Quinn: Flag was my friend.
- Bloodsport: Mine too. And i haven't got many of those.
- Harley Quinn: I could be your friend, Milton.
- Bloodsport: Not my name.
- Harley Quinn: What? What are you talking about? We just had a conversation for like three hours about how your name is Milton.
- Bloodsport: Didn't.
- Harley Quinn: Yes, we did.
- Bloodsport: No.
- Rick Flag: Fire on three, two...
- Harley Quinn: What are you guys doing?
- Rick Flag: You. We're here to save you.
- Harley Quinn: You were going to save me?
- Rick Flag: It was a really good plan too.
- Harley Quinn: Well, I could go back inside, and you can still do it.
- Bloodsport: That's patronizing. What's with the javelin?
- Harley Quinn: I'm waiting for God to tell me.
- Bloodsport: Jesus Christ.
- Harley Quinn: Yeah. Or Him. Or any of them really.
- Harley Quinn: I love your accent.
- Javelin: All American women love men with accents.
- Harley Quinn: We do! It's 'cause we don't got none.
- Harley Quinn: When your taste in men is as bad as mine, they don't just go away quietly. They slash your tires and they kill your dogs and tell you that the music you like ain't real music at all. And all the cruelty tears you apart after a while.
- Bloodsport: What's the plan?
- Rick Flag: How the hell am I supposed to know?
- Peacemaker: You're the leader! You're supposed to be decisive!
- Bloodsport: And I'm deciding that you should eat a big bag of dicks!
- Peacemaker: If this whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say "no problemo!"
- Ratcatcher II: Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
- Peacemaker: Who knows why madmen do what they do?
- Starro: [speaking through people] Have you come to save me from that madman? Thirty years he's kept me here... tortured me... had his way with me!
- Bloodsport: Yeah, well, we can't function as a team if we got to watch our back from one of our own eating our bullocks.
- Ratcatcher II: Nanaue, would you eat your friends?
- King Shark: I no friends.
- Ratcatcher II: You have no friends? If you did, would you eat them?
- Bloodsport: Yes.
- King Shark: No?
- Ratcatcher II: Then can we be your friends?
- Peacemaker: He's obviously lying.
- Ratcatcher II: If I die because I gambled on love, it will be a worthy death.
- [Shakes hands with King Shark]
- Ratcatcher II: friends.
- Bloodsport: You are a little idiot.
- Jacket Slogan: Live fast. Die clown.
- Peacemaker: [from trailer] I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it.
- Ratcatcher II: How would you like it if I sent half a dozen rats up your ass?
- Thinker: You might be surprised by my response.
- Bloodsport: Next time you want to nick something, you take a partner, and they can be your lookout.
- Tyla: That's your advice?
- Bloodsport: Yeah.
- Tyla: You're a terrible father. I can't believe you don't care that I stole, only that I got caught.
- Bloodsport: I don't only care that you got caught, I care that you got caught for stealing something as stupid as a fucking TV watch!
- Tyla: It does other things too!
- Bloodsport: But nothing that your phone can't fucking do! It's embarrassing!
- Tyla: No, what's fucking embarrassing is having you as my father.
- Ratcatcher II: [Sebastian the rat is being affectionate to Bloodsport] Aw. He always wants to be near you. I think he senses good in you.
- Bloodsport: Yeah, there's no good in me.
- [He shuts the van door on Sebastian]
- Bloodsport: Why the fuck are you in your underwear?Tighty-whities? Really?
- Peacemaker: Now that's just racist.
- Bloodsport: No. It's not racist. They're tighty-whities.
- Amanda Waller: Each member of the team is chosen for his or her own completely unique set of abilities. This is Christopher Smith, known as Peacemaker. In his hands, anything is a deadly weapon. His father was a soldier who trained his son how to kill from the moment he was born.
- Bloodsport: You just said each member of the team is chosen for their unique abilities. He does exactly what I do.
- Peacemaker: But better
- Bloodsport: I always hit my targets dead center.
- Peacemaker: I hit them more in the center.
- Bloodsport: Well, you can't hit something more in the center.
- Peacemaker: I use smaller bullets.
- Bloodsport: What?
- Peacemaker: They go inside your bullet holes without even touching the sides
- Harley Quinn: [as she shoots Silvio] I'm sorry. Recently, I made a promise to myself that the next time I got a boyfriend, I'd be on the lookout for red flags. And if I saw any, I would do the healthy thing, and I would murder him. And killing kids? Kind of a red flag.
- [as Silvio is dying]
- Harley Quinn: I know. I know. I know what you're trying to say. Harley why not just leave? And I'd say, Why are you screaming at me? I'm not deaf. I'm standing right here! And then I'd say, When your taste in men is as bad as mine, they don't just go away quietly. They slash your tires, and they kill your dogs, and tell you that the music you like ain't real music at all. And all the cruelty tears you apart after a while.
- [to the now dead Silvio]
- Harley Quinn: you were real pretty and all. And RIP to that absolutely beautiful monster between your legs. But all in all, I think you're more pretty like this, with all those rotten thoughts emptied from your head.
- Amanda Waller: You know the deal: successfully complete the mission and you get ten years off your sentence. You fail to follow my orders in any way, and I detonate the explosive device in the base of your skull.
- Thinker: Unclench your fucking pearls, Flag! We serve the same master!
- Ratcatcher II: We were sent here to stop you!
- Thinker: Child, your government didn't send you here to protect the world from alien technology, your government sent you here to cover up their part in it!
- Rick Flag: You're a goddamn liar!
- Thinker: American goddamn astronauts found Starro! Yankee fucking doodle dandies! Although the Cold War was ended, your government saw the potential in weaponizing such a powerful beast. But banish the thought of any such experiments being held on American soil!
- Peacemaker: How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here.
- Bloodsport: How the hell am I supposed to know?
- Peacemaker: You're the leader You're supposed to be decisive.
- Bloodsport: And I've decided that you should eat a big bag of dicks. How's that?
- Peacemaker: You're being facetious. But if this whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said, I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo.
- Ratcatcher II: Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
- Peacemaker: Who knows why madmen do what they do?
- Ratcatcher II: Aw, he's offering you a pretty leaf to show you he means no harm?
- Bloodsport: Why the fuck would I want a leaf? Just get the rats out of here!