- Anna Shepherd: You are such a child.
- Nick: A sexy child.
- [Anna glares at Nick]
- Nick: Wait, no!
- Anna Shepherd: Goodbye, Nick.
- John: You smell like a shoe.
- Anna Shepherd: Christmas is fast becoming my least favorite "C" word.
- John: You wouldn't be saying that if you were dressed like a festive legend!
- Anna Shepherd: You're right. Dressed like that, you look like a massive "C" word!
- Anna Shepherd: On Dasher, on Dancer on... the other ones?
- John: Firebolt? No... that's Harry Potter's broom.
- Anna Shepherd: Oh no. We can't hang out anymore. You're too sad. You've hit, like, peak sad.
- John: They were a very popular series of books.
- Nick: We go through here, we might make it to the school before sundown. Plus it'll be fun.
- Steph North: Yeah, certain death is so much fun.
- Lisa: Savage is losing it. He made Henry Lee cry because he can't breakdance.
- Anna Shepherd: Henry Lee has a prosthetic.
- Lisa: And he has only one leg!
- [Anna and Nick search through a stack of Christmas trees and find a talking lawn ornament]
- Talking Lawn Ornament: Have a Christmasy Christmas!
- Nick: Guess there's nobody gnome.
- [first lines]
- Radio Presenter: We interrupt this program to bring you an important news bulletin. The Center of Disease Control has recategorized the pandemic first thought to be a super virus strain of the flu. It has now been determined to be a lethal pathogen seemingly capable of reanimating... .
- [Anna turns off the car radio]
- [last lines]
- Steph North: Where to next?
- [Anna, Nick and Steph drive off into the sunset as "There's No Such Thing as a Hollywood Ending" plays in the background followed by the Zombie Santa roaring into the camera]
- [the zombies have almost overrun the school and the headmaster has tried to lock Anna and her friends out of his hiding place]
- Steph North: What the fuck?
- Arthur Savage: Do you know, Miss Shepherd, for such a serious journalist, your vocabulary leaves an awful lot to be desired.
- Anna Shepherd: You're a teacher, for God's sake.
- Arthur Savage: Not so cocky now are we, Miss Shepherd. I can't wait to show your daddy what's left of you.
- [Savage puts a whistle in his mouth]
- Steph North: Savage, please, please, please... .Oh, God!
- [Savage blows his whistle and the zombies attack]
- Arthur Savage: Pudding!
- [Anna and John are being attacked by a zombie in the bowling alley]
- John: Get behind the table. Go on three! Three! Two...!
- [Using the table, Anna hurls the zombie into the ball pit]
- John: I said, "After three!"
- Anna Shepherd: You said, "On three!" Think about your words!