My worst list
The 11 poorest films (out of 8000+) I've seen.
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12 titles
- DirectorRobert AltmanStarsPaul NewmanVittorio GassmanFernando ReyDuring a future ice age, dying humanity occupies its remaining time by playing a board game called "Quintet." For one small group, this obsession is not enough; they play the game with living pieces ... and only the winner survives.
- DirectorWillard HuyckStarsLea ThompsonJeffrey JonesTim RobbinsA sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop an alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a struggling female rock singer.
- DirectorRafal ZielinskiStarsMichael BendettiAndrew ZellerJeff GreenmanThree boys drop out of military school. They get jobs working at a hotel, but it's about to go under. They decide to help the owner raise enough money to stay in business. They prove that sex sells by holding "Miss Purity Pageant" starring some of the females staying at the hotel.
- DirectorMichelle ManningStarsJudd NelsonAlly SheedyDavid CarusoA drifter returns to his Florida hometown only to discover that his father, the local mayor, was mysteriously murdered during his absence. Vowing to find the killer and avenge his father's death, he starts his own investigation.
- DirectorPrinceMichael BallhausStarsPrinceJerome BentonKristin Scott ThomasTwo con artist brothers attempt to swindle a soon-to-be wealthy heiress, but things get complicated when one falls in love with her.Maybe the worst musical "star" of all time.
- DirectorKen HughesStarsAlan PriceJill TownsendPaul CopleyAlfie Elkins (Alan Price) returns, up to his old womanizing ways--until he meets his match in sophisticated magazine editor Abby Summers (Jill Townsend). His pursuit is complicated by his encounter with Norma (Sheila White) and the fact that a jealous husband won't let him forget about his time with his wife Fay (Joan Collins).Utterly without merit, and doesn't appeal to prurient interest. No concept of character. Example: husband coming home while he's with woman; and nothing funny happens, and plot not developed.
- DirectorMario BavaStarsClaudine AugerLuigi PistilliClaudio CamasoThe murder of a wealthy countess triggers a chain reaction of brutal killings in the surrounding bay area, as several unscrupulous characters try to seize her large estate.
- DirectorGeorge BowersStarsRob MorrowJohnny DeppEmily LongstrethTwo adolescent boys, staying at a Florida resort, are captivated by chasing girls, but their fate holds more surprises.Hard to believe anyone's career survived this. Ending with ball-crashing perfect note. Slapstick too stiff. Does have some babes, though.
- DirectorJeremiah S. ChechikStarsRalph FiennesUma ThurmanSean ConneryTwo British Agents team up to stop Sir August de Wynter from destroying the world with a weather-changing machine.Huh? Did set designers complete work first, then call in someone to write it? Apparently supposed to appeal to few who loved/remember old TV show. "Borrows" from all sources, and nothing works. Fiennes and Thurman aren't wasted in minimalist roles, but stilted style completely off.
- DirectorSt. John Legh ClowesStarsJack La RueHugh McDermottLinden TraversJohn Blandish is worth $100 million. His heiress daughter is soon to be wed to Foster Harvey, who believes she's a cold, unfeeling woman, despite loving her. Her cold emotional state is in large part due to leading a restricted life. A low level thug named Johnny overhears their secret wedding night plans, and peddles the idea of robbing her of the $100,000 worth of diamond jewelry with which she will be adorned to two groups of his gangster acquaintances, who are in competition with each other. The robbery doesn't go quite according to plan, with Miss Blandish ultimately being kidnapped and held under the eye of Slim Grisson, the heir apparent as head of the violent Grisson gang, currently run by Ma Grisson. Kidnapping holds higher risk but possible greater reward as everyone figures they can get at least $1 million for her. Ma has no plans of letting her go, killing her after getting the money. But a surprise move by Slim, who has a secret past with Miss Blandish, turns the tables on the kidnapping and in turn Miss Blandish's emotional state. She ends up falling in love with him, and he with her. They know they can't live in either of their worlds, but even if they can escape together, will there be a future for them together always being on the run from both sides as well as the Grisson's competitors?Like a bad student film, or satire of noir. Plot is "kill 'em all" for no reason, and people bashed/slapped in between killings. Cast continually slips in to British accents. Not much idea how to direct films. Not enough characters for constant violence, so nightclub acts (like impressionist who does Greenstreet without Brit accent) kill time. Biggest howler is reporter who uses gun and fists to get info out of subjects.
- DirectorJim JarmuschStarsChris ParkerLeila GastilJohn LurieA young man wanders New York City searching for some meaning in life and encounters many idiosyncratic characters.
- DirectorSeijun SuzukiStarsJô ShishidoMariko OgawaAnnu MariAfter a botched assignment, a rice-fetishizing hitman finds himself in conflict with his organization, and one mysterious, dangerous fellow-hitman in particular.