Actors/Actresses who sold their souls to the devil
by toucansam3 | created - 31 Jan 2012 | updated - 28 Oct 2014 | PublicA list of actors and actresses whose success can only be explained by the notion that they must have sold their souls to the devil. There's no way they would have been successful otherwise. (List is in no particular order, except for #1 & #2).
1. Adam Sandler
Actor | The Waterboy
Adam Richard Sandler was born September 9, 1966 in Brooklyn, New York, to Judith (Levine), a teacher at a nursery school, and Stanley Alan Sandler, an electrical engineer. He is of Russian Jewish descent. At 17, he took his first step towards becoming a stand-up comedian when he spontaneously took ...
I don't get this guy, I will never get this guy, I don't what people find funny about his movies, this guy is and will always be an enigma to me. He was pretty good on SNL, but how he turned his average talent into a huge film career completely escapes me. People have tried to explain why he is successful and I just don't get it. I could write the same crap he puts in his films. If you like this guy, don't try to explain it to me, you won't be able to help me to understand, I am completely stumped.
2. Miley Cyrus
Soundtrack | Hannah Montana
Miley Ray Cyrus was born Destiny Hope Cyrus on November 23, 1992 in Franklin, Tennessee and raised in Thompson's Station, Tennessee to Tish Cyrus & Billy Ray Cyrus. She has five siblings - two half-brothers, a half-sister, and a younger brother and sister. Her parents named her because they hoped ...
The epitome of below average - below average singer, below average looking, and below average talent. She's just kind of there, adding nothing to anything she happens to be in. She is simply the product of brilliant Disney marketers, nothing more. When sticking your tongue out is your go to move, talent is not the reason you are where you are.
3. Ashton Kutcher
Actor | That '70s Show
Christopher Ashton Kutcher was born on February 7, 1978 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, to Diane (Finnegan), who was employed at Procter & Gamble, and Larry Kutcher, a factory worker. He has a fraternal twin brother, Michael, and a sister, Tausha. He is of Czech (father) and Irish, German, and Czech (mother...
How he got "Two and a Half Men" can only be explained by the sale of his soul. They could have picked 100 actors that would have done a better job, and they picked this guy? He'll always be Kelso pretending to be someone else in every role to me.
4. Jonah Hill
Actor | 21 Jump Street
Jonah Hill was born and raised in Los Angeles, the son of Sharon Feldstein (née Chalkin), a fashion designer and costume stylist, and Richard Feldstein, a tour accountant for Guns N' Roses. He is the brother of music manager Jordan Feldstein and actress Beanie Feldstein. He graduated from ...
I like him as a second banana to Seth Rogan, but how the hell did he get the lead role in Moneyball? From Superbad to an Oscar nomination in five years??? The Devil is one Hell of an agent.
5. Vin Diesel
Actor | Guardians of the Galaxy
Vin Diesel was born Mark Sinclair in Alameda County, California, along with his fraternal twin brother, Paul Vincent. He was raised by his astrologer/psychologist mother, Delora Sherleen (Sinclair), and adoptive father, Irving H. Vincent, an acting instructor and theatre manager, in an artists' ...
One way I can tell that a movie is going to suck is I check to see if Vin Diesel is in it. And what's that thing in the center of his face anyway, does he actually breathe through that thing? It looks like Silly Putty to me. What women find attractive about this guy I will never know.
6. Keanu Reeves
Actor | The Matrix
Keanu Charles Reeves, whose first name means "cool breeze over the mountains" in Hawaiian, was born September 2, 1964 in Beirut, Lebanon. He is the son of Patric Reeves, a showgirl and costume designer, and Samuel Nowlin Reeves, a geologist. Keanu's father was born in Hawaii, of British, Portuguese...
Do I really need to say anything about this guy? Watch any of his movies and his "performances" speak for themselves.
7. Kristen Stewart
Actress | Snow White and the Huntsman
Though most famous for her role as Isabella "Bella" Swan in The Twilight (2008) Saga, Kristen Stewart has been a working actor since her early years in Los Angeles, California. Her parents, John Stewart and Jules Stewart, both work in film and television. The family includes three boys, Kristen's ...
If all it takes to be a great actor is to have a look on your face like somebody just farted, then she's freaking Meryl Streep.
8. Robert Pattinson
Actor | Twilight
Robert Douglas Thomas Pattinson was born May 13, 1986 in London, England, to Richard Pattinson, a car dealer importing vintage cars, and Clare Pattinson (née Charlton), who worked as a booker at a model agency. He grew up in Barnes, southwest London with two older sisters. Robert discovered his ...
The male Kristen Stewart. He shows what 'tragic' looks like with a 5 O'clock shadow.
9. Mary-Kate Olsen
Actress | It Takes Two
Mary-Kate Olsen (born June 13, 1986) is an American actress, fashion designer, producer, author, and businesswoman. She co-founded luxury fashion brands The Row, Elizabeth and James, and the more affordable lines Olsenboye and StyleMint alongside her fraternal twin sister Ashley Olsen. Olsen ...
Do I need to explain?
10. Ashley Olsen
Actress | Full House
Ashley Fuller Olsen (born June 13, 1986) is an American fashion designer, producer, author, businesswoman and former actress. She co-founded luxury fashion brands The Row, Elizabeth and James, and the more affordable lines Olsenboye and StyleMint with her twin sister Mary-Kate Olsen. She is also ...
Really? Do I need to explain??
11. Kevin James
Actor | Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Kevin James was born Kevin George Knipfing on April 26, 1965, in Mineola, Long Island, New York, to Janet (Klein), an office worker, and Joseph Valentine Knipfing, Jr., an insurance agency owner. He was raised in Stony Brook, and attended SUNY Cortland, where he played fullback on the football team...
A poor man's Adam Sandler. He would never have been in a movie if not for Sandler, and they're the same stupid scripts from Sandler's movies. "King of Queens" was ok, but enough is enough already.
12. Owen Wilson
Actor | The Royal Tenenbaums
Self-proclaimed troublemaker Owen Cunningham Wilson was born in Dallas, to Irish-American parents originally from Massachusetts. He grew up in Texas with his mother, Laura (Cunningham), a photographer; his father, Robert Andrew Wilson, an ad exec; and his brothers, Andrew Wilson (the eldest) and ...
What's up with his nose? It always looks like its trying to point to True North".
13. Vince Vaughn
Producer | The Break-Up
Vincent Anthony Vaughn was born on March 28, 1970, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA, and was raised in Lake Forest, Illinois. His parents, Vernon Vaughn (a salesman and character actor), and Sharon Vaughn, née Sharon Eileen DePalmo (a real-estate agent and stockbroker) divorced in 1991. He has two ...
He'll win an Oscar as soon as he plays a different character from the one he's played in every single movie he's been in.
14. Rihanna
Actress | Battleship
Rihanna was born Robyn Rihanna Fenty on February 20, 1988 in Bridgetown, St. Michael, Barbados to Monica Braithwaite, an accountant & Ronald Fenty, a warehouse supervisor. Her mother is Afro-Guyanese and her father is of Afro-Barbadian and British Isles ancestry. Rihanna lived the life of a normal ...
Its bad enough we have to listen to her one octave voice belting out those horrible songs, but does she have to be in movies too? I knew the Devil was evil, but he really topped himself with this one.
15. Hayden Christensen
Actor | Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Hayden Christensen was born April 19, 1981 in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. His parents, Alie and David Christensen, are in the communications business. He is of Danish (father) and Swedish and Italian (mother) descent. Hayden grew up in Markham, Ontario, with siblings Kaylen, Hejsa, and ...
Only the Devil could have gotten him the lead role in two of the biggest films of the past 30 years. The hamburger I had for lunch would have been a better casting choice, unless George Lucas was trying to make it so we wouldn't forget how crappy the new Star Wars films were.
16. Hilary Duff
Actress | A Cinderella Story
Hilary Erhard Duff was born on September 28, 1987 in Houston, Texas, to Susan Duff (née Cobb) and Robert Erhard Duff, a partner in convenience store chain. When Hilary was six, she had been traveling in the Cechetti Ballet with her sister Haylie Duff but decided she wanted to fulfill her dream of ...
Good looking girl, but average in every other way. Another trophy of the marketers from Disney, those guys should get a Nobel Peace Prize.
17. Nicolas Cage
Actor | Face/Off
Nicolas Cage was born Nicolas Kim Coppola in Long Beach, California, the son of comparative literature professor August Coppola (whose brother is director Francis Ford Coppola) and dancer/choreographer Joy Vogelsang. He is of Italian (father) and Polish and German (mother) descent. Cage changed his...
The "polished turd" of actors. They actually gave this guy an Oscar?? He made some decent movies in the past, but I hear the Department of Defense is going to rename the "Nuclear Bomb" the "Nuclear Cage". He must be on the outs with the Devil as well.
18. Tyler Perry
Writer | Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Perry was born and raised in New Orleans, to Willie Maxine (Campbell) and Emmitt Perry, Sr. His mother was a church-goer and took Perry along with her once a week. His father was a carpenter and they had a very strained and abusive relationship, which led Perry to suffer from depression as a ...
Decent actor, but as a writer? 'House of Payne' and 'Meet the Browns' are as suitable to television as the ebola virus is to a bowl of oatmeal.
19. Janeane Garofalo
Actress | Mystery Men
Janeane, the petite woman with the acerbic wit, was born in Newton, New Jersey, in 1964, to Joan, a secretary, and Carmine Garofalo, an Exxon executive. She is of Italian and Irish descent. Janeane had many jobs before breaking into show biz. She worked as a bike messenger, a shoe saleswoman, ...
There must be someone out there who finds her funny. Someone? Anyone? I'll even take her mother. Nobody wants to admit it? Come on, there must be at least one person out there?
20. Steven Seagal
Actor | On Deadly Ground
Steven Frederic Seagal was born in Lansing, Michigan, to Patricia Anne (Fisher), a medical technician, and Samuel Seagal, a high school math teacher. His paternal grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants, and his mother had English, German, and distant Irish and Dutch, ancestry. The enigmatic ...
I'm not sure if he sold his soul to the Devil or he is the Devil, the jury is still out.
21. Rob Schneider
Actor | Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Robert Michael "Rob" Schneider (born October 31, 1963) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and director. A stand-up comic and veteran of the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live (1975), Schneider has gone on to a successful career in feature films, including starring roles in the ...
On this list by proxy: he actually sold his soul to Adam Sandler, who in turn sold his soul to the devil.
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