Movies That Pissed Me Off.
(here be spoilers) I'm trying to avoid old terrible sci-fi movies. Anyone could make a bad list of those so this is more of an eclectic mix.
List activity
1.7K views
• 0 this weekCreate a new list
List your movie, TV & celebrity picks.
55 titles
- DirectorAntony HoffmanStarsVal KilmerCarrie-Anne MossTom SizemoreAstronauts, and their robotic dog AMEE (Autonomous Mapping Evaluation and Evasion), search for solutions to save a dying Earth by searching on Mars, only to have the mission go terribly awry.The killer is a plant. That is all.
- DirectorDavid KelloggStarsVanilla IceKristin MinterNaomi CampbellA rapper gets stuck in a small town and falls for a local girl whose family is in witness protection.Ingredients list: Mix equal parts obnoxious 90's dancing, obnoxious jackets and bikes, long scenes of characters missing each other after spending a single afternoon together, and 'sarcastic' responses that do not make any sense whatsoever.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsNatasha HenstridgeIce CubePam GrierIn 2176, a Martian police unit is sent to pick up a highly dangerous criminal at a remote mining post. Upon arrival, the cops find that the post has become a charnel house.Read the title again. Now you know why.
- DirectorBill RebaneHerschell Gordon LewisStarsPhilip MortonJune TravisGeorge PerryA space capsule crash-lands on Earth, and the astronaut aboard disappears. Is there a connection between the missing man and the monster roaming the area?This movie smells.
- DirectorJerry WarrenStarsKatherine VictorG.J. MitchellSteve BrodieBatwoman and her bevy of Batmaidens fight evil and dance.The worst scene in cinema history consists of "Batwoman" talking to ghost that keeps slipping into high-pitched Mandarin and nobody bothers to translate. This scene is at least ten minutes long.
- DirectorHarold P. WarrenStarsTom NeymanJohn ReynoldsDiane AdelsonA family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo.If Torgo doesn't haunt your dreams then you are more of a man than I.
- DirectorDon BartonArnold StevensStarsMarshall GrauerWade PopwellPaul GallowayA mad scientist transforms himself into an aquatic killer.I still hear this narrator's voice in my head. I shall never sleep again.
- DirectorKeenen Ivory WayansStarsMarlon WayansShawn WayansBusy PhilippsTwo disgraced FBI agents go way undercover in an effort to protect hotel heiresses the Wilson sisters from a kidnapping plot.Reverse the races that switch and suddenly it's a horribly racist piece of *beep*
- DirectorFrancis Ford CoppolaStarsMatt DillonMickey RourkeDiane LaneAbsent-minded street thug Rusty James struggles to live up to his legendary older brother's reputation, and longs for the days of gang warfare.The entire cast is amazing in this movie, seriously. The story apparently wasn't invited to the party. I couldn't tell you what this movie is about without saying the characters stand around whispering most of the time.
- DirectorMartha CoolidgeStarsNicolas CageDeborah ForemanElizabeth DailyJulie, a girl from the valley, meets Randy, a punk from the city. They are from different worlds and find love. Somehow they need to stay together in spite of her trendy, shallow friends.After they break up she doesn't really seem to be thinking about him at all so when they hook back up it doesn't really seem to matter at all. EVERY single scene doesn't end when it should. Instead they keep the camera on the actors just long enough for everything to be awkward.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsEwan McGregorLiam NeesonNatalie PortmanTwo Jedi escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to claim their original glory.Jar-Jar and pod racing. Plus about 3 minutes of adding to the Star Wars lexicon. Less of a Star Wars movie and more of a Smokey And The Bandit sequel. This is clearly a movie for kids and there cannot be more evidence for this than a plot revolving around a monopoly on intergalactic trading.
- DirectorMichael HanekeStarsNaomi WattsTim RothMichael PittTwo psychopathic young men take a family hostage in their cabin.Bad guys break in. Husband kills bad guys. Rewind...no he didn't. Slash your wrists.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsNicolas CageNicole KidmanCam GigandetAs they're held for ransom, a husband and wife's predicament grows more dire amid the discovery of betrayal and deception.Bad guys break in. Keep repeating they have to be out in ten minutes or else something happens. They stay for hours and shift the plot points a dozen times for no apparent reason.
- DirectorDominic SenaStarsNicolas CageRon PerlmanClaire Foy14th-century knights transport a suspected witch to a monastery, where monks deduce that her powers could be the source of the Black Plague.Apparently nobody told anyone in the cast what century this movie is set in.
- DirectorJohn WooStarsTom CruiseDougray ScottThandiwe NewtonIMF agent Ethan Hunt is sent to Sydney to find and destroy a genetically modified disease called "Chimera".First one was a spy movie. This one is a moving turd on fire.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsTommy Lee JonesWill SmithRip TornAgent J is sent to find Agent K and restore his memory after the re-appearance of a case from K's past.How unfunny can we make this sequel to a funny movie? Let's find out.
- DirectorF. Gary GrayStarsDonald SutherlandMark WahlbergEdward NortonAfter being betrayed and left for dead in Italy, Charlie Croker and his team plan an elaborate gold heist against their former ally.You can actually see how much Edward Norton doesn't want to be in this movie based on his facial expressions.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsJohn CusackThandiwe NewtonChiwetel EjioforA frustrated writer struggles to keep his family alive when a series of global catastrophes threatens to annihilate mankind.I love me some John Cusack but it's obvious John Cusack doesn't love him some 2012.
- 19641h 22mNot Rated2.3 (5.3K)DirectorRay Dennis StecklerStarsRay Dennis StecklerBrett O'HaraAtlas KingJerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree.I could hang out at the train tracks kicking around dirty, used needles on my way to a coal mine to my Zumba session and still not feel as dirty as I did watching this movie. If you love greasy haired foreigners...this is your movie.
- DirectorValerie BreimanStarsAdam SandlerBilly Bob ThorntonBilly ZaneA struggling young comedian takes a menial job on a cruise ship hoping for his big chance to make it in the world of cruise-ship comedy.If I get thrown overboard from the boat in this movie...don't come back with a life raft.
- DirectorChris SeaverStarsMeredith HostKurt IndovinaJesse GreenRiding the lofty coattails of the international tween sensation TWILIGHT, TAINTLIGHT is the tale of Stella, a young girl who falls in love with an ancient, beautifully-coifed bloodsucker named Edgar.Obviously this is a low budget movie. However they could have tried a little more than gluing a felt mustache to a guy's face and just taping the movie.
- DirectorGuy RitchieStarsMadonnaAdriano GianniniBruce GreenwoodA snooty socialite is stranded on a Mediterranean island with a communist sailor.It's like Guy Richie had a fetish of watching his wife bang an Italian dude on a beach for 2 hours but decided it would be weird to just ask outright so he took the safe route and wrote a movie about it instead. If that's the scenario, mission accomplished.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsWill SmithKevin KlineKenneth BranaghThe two best special agents in the Wild West must save President Grant from the clutches of a diabolical, wheelchair-bound, steampunk-savvy, Confederate scientist bent on revenge for losing the Civil War.I would rather stick my dick in a random hole in the desert in the wild, wild west and see what happens than watch this movie again.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsSandra BullockJason PatricWillem DafoeA computer hacker breaks into the computer system of the Seabourn Legend cruise liner and sets it speeding on a collision course into a gigantic oil tanker.First problem: Do they want to emphasize the speed or the cruise control? Because as far as I'm concerned cruise control is the opposite of speed. Cruise is a leisurely term. Then the word control let's us know that the speed isn't out of hand.
Second problem: Everything in the movie. - DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsJodie FosterMatthew McConaugheyTom SkerrittDr. Ellie Arroway, after years of searching, finds conclusive radio proof of extraterrestrial intelligence, sending plans for a mysterious machine.Jodie Foster almost goes to space, almost acts interested and almost makes a decent movie. However none of it actually happened. Matthew McConaughey was on set to deal drugs to the cast and crew.
- DirectorDanny BoyleStarsEwan McGregorEwen BremnerJonny Lee MillerRenton, deeply immersed in the Edinburgh drug scene, tries to clean up and get out despite the allure of drugs and the influence of friends.No...just no.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.RIP Batman 1939-1997.
- DirectorDavid LynchStarsJack NanceCharlotte StewartAllen JosephHenry Spencer tries to survive his industrial environment, his angry girlfriend, and the unbearable screams of his newly born mutant child.I wish brain enemas existed.
- DirectorEthan CoenJoel CoenStarsMichael StuhlbargRichard KindSari LennickLarry Gopnik, a Midwestern physics teacher, watches his life unravel over multiple sudden incidents. Though seeking meaning and answers amidst his turmoils, he seems to keep sinking.I heard there was a serious accident when they were shipping this movie to theaters. No one was injured but there was a severe plot spill on the freeway. They scraped up what they could and moved on with the trip.
Fool me once Coen brothers...shame on me. Fool me twice... - DirectorEthan CoenJoel CoenStarsBrad PittFrances McDormandGeorge ClooneyA disk containing mysterious information from a CIA agent ends up in the hands of two unscrupulous and daft gym employees who attempt to sell it.The best cast to ever go to waste.
- DirectorFlorian Henckel von DonnersmarckStarsJohnny DeppAngelina JoliePaul BettanyRevolves around Frank, an American tourist visiting Italy to mend a broken heart. Elise is an extraordinary woman who deliberately crosses his path.This plot was sloppier than Courtney Love.
- DirectorStewart RaffillStarsChristine EbersoleJonathan WardTina CasparyAn alien trying to escape from NASA is befriended by a wheelchair-bound boy.This movie contains a 15 minute dance scene at McDonald's and yet isn't even the stupidest scene in the movie. There's a product placement every three minutes for either McDonald's or the Chicago Cubs/Bears. There's no way to enjoy this low-rent E.T.
- DirectorLukas MoodyssonStarsOksana AkinshinaArtyom BogucharskiyPavel PonomaryovSixteen-year-old Lilja and her only friend, the young boy Volodja, live in Russia, fantasizing about a better life. One day, Lilja falls in love with Andrej, who is going to Sweden, and invites Lilja to come along and start a new life.There is literally no redeeming quality of this movie. It was like the writers sat around going back and forth each adding a horrible thing that could happen to a person. So the end result is one horrific tragedy after another for the main character. Does she sell her vagina for fancy clothes? Yes. Best friend dies? Check. Does a suave rich guy promise to move her to another country for love? Yep. Does her mother care in the slightest about her? Nope, in fact she ditches her early on. Does the guy lie and end up selling her into the sex trade business? You know it. Does she end up locked in a room with no hope of escape from the brutal beatings and raping? Naturally. Does she escape? Yes. Is it successful? Actually she escapes for all of three minutes before jumping from a bridge and killing herself. Oh...well it's.....no it's just depressingly terrible.
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsMark WahlbergZooey DeschanelJohn LeguizamoA science teacher, his wife, and a young girl struggle to survive a plague that causes those infected to commit suicide.Just like Red Planet the killer is plants. An attempt at an apocalyptic epic ends up more like a student film.
- DirectorGore VerbinskiStarsNaomi WattsMartin HendersonBrian CoxA journalist must investigate a mysterious videotape which seems to cause the death of anyone one week to the day after they view it.People watch a vhs copy of nothing really that interesting and then die for it. I watched this DVD copy of nothing really that interesting and wanted to die for it.
- DirectorTakashi ShimizuStarsSarah Michelle GellarJason BehrClea DuVallAn American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.How *beep* can you possibly get when your only crime is legally entering a house? That's what happens in this movie. So, because some decent Japanese woman, her son, and their cat were all killed by their maniac husband they suddenly become evil and take it out on whoever enters the house. Apparently when a good person is murdered they turn into homicidal ghosts with sever boundary issues. Is there any escape from the curse once you leave the house? Nope, that *beep* follows you wherever you go. Any chance of ruining the curse and ending the grudge? Nah. What's the point of even trying to fight for your life then?
- DirectorCourtney SolomonStarsDonald SutherlandSissy SpacekRachel Hurd-WoodAn invisible entity haunts a 19th century family, and family secrets soon begin to surface.Donald Sutherland literally rapes a ghost into existence. Figure that one out.
- DirectorWim WendersStarsJeremy DaviesMilla JovovichMel GibsonTragi-comic, romantic whodunnit set in a run down hotel which plays host to mentally ill people too poor to afford medical insurance.I hate U2 even more now.
- DirectorHugh WilsonStarsShirley MacLaineNicolas CageAustin PendletonA former U.S. First Lady wants a particular Secret Service agent to head her bodyguard detail, even though he can't stand her.I enjoyed most of this movie. However the tagline clearly states, "A comedy beyond the call of duty." This is what the comedy consists of: Nic Cage is a secret service agent protecting the former first lady who is a terrible person in every aspect of life. She constantly fights with him and everyone else around her. Nic Cage screams and takes it like a bitch. Then she gets kidnapped and Nic saves her after a whole seven minutes of searching. She is saved and the credits roll. I'm still waiting for the part where this is a comedy beyond any sense of the call of duty.
- DirectorJohn HillcoatStarsViggo MortensenCharlize TheronKodi Smit-McPheeIn a dangerous post-apocalyptic world, an ailing father defends his son as they slowly travel to the sea.Are you a happy individual that wants to keep enjoying your life? Yes? Then you probably shouldn't watch this movie where literally nothing good happens to any of the characters.
- DirectorShane CarruthStarsShane CarruthDavid SullivanCasey GoodenFour friends/fledgling entrepreneurs, knowing that there's something bigger and more innovative than the different error-checking devices they've built, wrestle over their new invention.I respect that this is a low-budget independent movie about time travel. I love time travel plots and usually like a good independent production but this one just fell apart toward the end.
- DirectorDavid O. RussellStarsJason SchwartzmanJude LawNaomi WattsA husband-and-wife team play detective, but not in the traditional sense. Instead, the happy duo helps others solve their existential issues, the kind that keep you up at night, wondering what it all means.Saw this movie with a group of 11 people and only one of us slightly liked it. I hated this so much I actually forced it out of my memory in fear that it might replace a memory of something awesome.
- DirectorTom TykwerStarsFranka PotenteMoritz BleibtreuHerbert KnaupAfter a botched money delivery, Lola has 20 minutes to come up with 100,000 Deutschmarks....well...at least the title is honest. This bitch runs...a lot. In fact...that's all she does.
- DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsHarrison FordMichelle PfeifferKatharine TowneThe wife of a university research scientist believes that her lakeside Vermont home is haunted by a ghost - or that she is losing her mind.Watch this and if you can't guess the ending about twelve minutes into this movie then maybe you can enjoy it.
- DirectorKerry ConranStarsGwyneth PaltrowJude LawAngelina JolieAfter New York City receives a series of attacks from giant flying robots, a reporter teams up with a pilot in search of their origin, as well as the reason for the disappearances of famous scientists around the world.The best actor in this movie was Lawrence Olivier and he had been dead for 15 years by the time they made this. So basically a CGI dead actor was better than the entire living cast. This movie was ahead of its time considering they are making this movie left and right nowadays. So basically I'm saying you should blame this piece of *beep* for ever piece of *beep* since it.
- DirectorJames NguyenStarsAlan BaghWhitney MooreTippi HedrenA horde of mutated birds descends upon the quiet town of Half Moon Bay, California. As the death toll rises, two citizens manage to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic?This is by far the most irritating 'movie' to sit through. The entire time they are being attacked by birds there is a super high-pitched seagull screech despite the birds being eagles. As far as the sound editing goes... there is no sound editing. During a scene when the camera switches to the other character you can literally hear it. So if you close your eyes you know exactly when the frame switches.
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsMel GibsonJoaquin PhoenixRory CulkinA widowed former reverend living with his children and brother on a Pennsylvania farm finds mysterious crop circles in their fields, which suggests something more frightening to come.This is literally my least favorite movie of all time. NONE of this movie made any goddamn sense. Aliens can leap onto tall barns but can't kick down a thin wooden door? Oh yeah and by the way don't be afraid of aliens because when they land a bottle of Aquafina is like a *beep* grenade to them. Just bring a bottle of Windex and take down their entire fleet. I call *beep*
- DirectorRodrigo CortésStarsRyan ReynoldsJosé Luis García-PérezRobert PatersonPaul is a U.S. truck driver working in Iraq. After an attack by a group of Iraqis he wakes to find he is buried alive inside a coffin. With only a lighter and a cell phone it's a race against time to escape this claustrophobic death trap.I'm not into movies that the only purpose of the film is to torture someone for an hour and a half (see Funny Games) and then just end. Everyone wants to give it credit for being so innovative because the entire film takes place inside the coffin but I think a movie should have to be good for that to be a good thing. Reynolds is great in it but I'm sure there is at least one great actress in a porn movie that's out there but it doesn't help the production value much, does it?
- DirectorSpencer SusserStarsJoseph Gordon-LevittDevin BrochuNatalie PortmanA young boy has lost his mother and is losing touch with his father and the world around him. Then he meets Hesher who manages to make his life even more chaotic.
- DirectorRon UnderwoodStarsEddie MurphyJay MohrRandy QuaidIn the future, a man struggles to keep his lunar nightclub out of the hands of the Mafia.
- DirectorTerrence MalickStarsJim CaviezelSean PennNick NolteAdaptation of James Jones' autobiographical 1962 novel, focusing on the conflict at Guadalcanal during the second World War.
- DirectorMark TonderaiStarsJennifer LawrenceElisabeth ShueMax ThieriotAfter moving with her mother to a small town, a teenager finds that an accident happened in the house at the end of the street. Things get more complicated when she befriends a boy. A double murder is not an accident.
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsJaden SmithDavid DenmanWill SmithA crash landing leaves Kitai Raige and his father Cypher stranded on Earth, a millennium after events forced humanity's escape. With Cypher injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help.
- DirectorJohn CarrPhillip MarshakTom McGowanStarsBarbara WylerJamie ScogginStacey Lyons"Night Train to Terror" is a 1985 horror anthology movie where God and Satan are on a train discussing the fate of three individuals.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsHayden ChristensenNatalie PortmanEwan McGregorTen years after initially meeting, Anakin Skywalker shares a forbidden romance with Padmé Amidala, while Obi-Wan Kenobi discovers a secret clone army crafted for the Jedi.