Worst of the 90s
My picks for the worst popular films of the 1990s. The one I've always used as an example for the absolute worst widely-released film of that decade is Armageddon which had some of the worst acting, direction, writing, cinematography & editing of any film in history & yet, for some ungodly reason, people think it's "the greatest film ever." Roger Ebert described it as cinema's "1st 150 minute trailer" meaning it's devoid of meaning & intellectual value. So, if you get that, then you'll probably get what I'm talking about w/this list. Enjoy!
And please, no stupid threats, ok? If you see your favorite flick on here, just accept it, I'm not out to insult anyone & I make NO apologies for MY list.
And please, no stupid threats, ok? If you see your favorite flick on here, just accept it, I'm not out to insult anyone & I make NO apologies for MY list.
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- DirectorMichael BayStarsBruce WillisBilly Bob ThorntonBen AffleckAfter discovering that an asteroid the size of Texas will impact Earth in less than a month, NASA recruits a misfit team of deep-core drillers to save the planet.My vote for the worst of the decade! This flick seems to be intended as more of a backlash against the political correctness of the 90s, rather than a film about humanity coming together to save the planet - and as if we hadn't seen that before in other movies, especially in the 70s.
Michael Bay is no Stanley Kubrick or Steven Spielberg BUT the man has directed a couple of great flicks -- The Rock & the 1st Transformers movies were actually good & entertaining. But w/Armageddon he exhibits some of the worst directing, acting, writing, editing (I swear there's no edit in the entire flick that lasts more than 4 seconds!!) & cinematography. I'm not asking for Shakespearean drama like you'd get from Kenneth Branagh but this film could have used a makeover. - DirectorStephen HopkinsStarsGary OldmanWilliam HurtMatt LeBlancThe Robinson family was going into space to fight for a chance for humanity. Now they are fighting to live long enough to find a way home.Sappy, syrupy, sentimental garbage. Bad acting all the way thru. Why the hell bother making a movie out of a TV show that was cheesy enough to begin with? Gary Oldman is slumming & can't even make his own scenes interesting. And this was the flick that knocked Titanic out of the #1 spot in 1998. Oh brother.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsElizabeth BerkleyKyle MacLachlanGina GershonA mysterious young drifter who calls herself Nomi Malone hitches a ride to Las Vegas, Nevada, and begins working as a strip club dancer, and sets about clawing her way to the top of the Vegas showgirls.Bad acting, bad direction, bad story. People say it's campy but I say it's *beep* Doesn't have one redeeming quality and it plainly insults women -- not surprising since Joe Ezterhas wrote it. My favorite story about it is how Verhoeven & Ezterhas claimed never to have visited a strip club before they started doing research for the story. Uh-huh, RIGHT!!!
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsVal KilmerTommy Lee JonesJim CarreyBatman must battle former district attorney Harvey Dent, who is now Two-Face and Edward Nygma, The Riddler with help from an amorous psychologist and a young circus acrobat who becomes his sidekick, Robin.A star-powered ensemble cast? Surely! But it all turns to crap. Too much of Jim Carrey & Tommy Lee Jones trying to outdo each other for screen time. Schumacher really harmed Batman on the big screen. And then he sinks even LOWER 2 yrs later! Batman, not just Schumacher!
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.Just when you thought they couldn't lower Batman's standards any further, they did!!! Still can't believe I saw this one when it was released -- I was really bored & depressed that summer!
- DirectorBruce MalmuthStarsSteven SeagalKelly LeBrockWilliam SadlerTargeted by the mob and its political supporters, hired assassins leave LAPD Detective Mason Storm for dead. Seven years later, he recovers from a deep coma, demanding justice and the opportunity to get even.Badly acted, badly directed. Action, guns & broken bones by a great martial artist don't make up for a bad flick.
- DirectorJohn FlynnStarsSteven SeagalWilliam ForsytheJerry OrbachWith his partner executed in broad daylight by a psychotic mafia enforcer, a veteran Brooklyn officer vows revenge. But is the unstoppable detective prepared to face the truth and pay the price of blood?See my notes for Hard to Kill.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsMatthew BroderickJean RenoMaria PitilloFrench nuclear tests irradiate an iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces.Big, loud, stupid. Watching this flick is just painful. It's about 30 mins too long. Matthew Broderick is slumming. The whole story takes place in the rain -- I've believed for a long time that it was done to hide the mediocre FX that created the monster.
- DirectorMimi LederStarsRobert DuvallTéa LeoniElijah WoodA comet is discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. As doomsday nears, the human race prepares for the worst.Of the 2 Earth-collision flicks of 1998, this one tried to concentrate more on the human aspect of a natural disaster. Unfortunately, Mimi Leder seems to have trouble keeping all the plotlines going simultaneously.
- DirectorClint EastwoodStarsClint EastwoodGene HackmanEd HarrisCareer thief Luther Whitney (Clint Eastwood) witnesses a horrific crime involving U.S. President Alan Richmond (Gene Hackman).I've never really liked Eastwood as a director. I think the only 2 films that he directed that I liked were Pale Rider & Josey Wales. Other than that, I've always felt that Eastwood simply draws on standard Hollywood cliches. And Unforgiven has never made much sense to me. Eastwood always made a better actor than a director, kind of like Robin Williams doing a much better job as a dramatic actor than a comic one.
In this film, Eastwood so radically changed David Baldacci's exciting thriller that I got angry about it! SPOILER: LUTHER DIES BEFORE THE END OF THE NOVEL. In the film, Eastwood lets him live!! - DirectorRenny HarlinStarsBruce WillisWilliam AthertonBonnie BedeliaJohn McClane attempts to avert disaster as rogue military operatives seize control of Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C.Yup, the worst of the Die Hard series. Fans just don't seem to notice that Bruce Willis' performance is uneven, as if they used all the bad takes from when they filmed it. And in the 1st film, John's arrogant fighting of the bad guys as a cop out of his jurisdiction worked very well -- we all loved how he did it, right? Here he actually works *with* the law enforcement of the airport & the clashes he's supposed to have w/them don't work as well.
- DirectorMick JacksonStarsTommy Lee JonesAnne HecheGaby HoffmannA volcano erupts in downtown Los Angeles and a city official and a seismologist try to stop its inevitable flow through the city.Every goddam cliche in the book: race relations in LA; rich neighborhoods vs poor neighborhoods; hot-headed scientist vs pragmatic natural disaster manager; hard-working wife vs demanding husband; father vs rebellious 'tween daughter.
And there are way too many Biblical references!! - DirectorLuis LlosaStarsJon VoightJennifer LopezEric StoltzA "National Geographic" film crew is taken hostage by an insane hunter, who forces them along on his quest to capture the world's largest - and deadliest - snake.Just a mess. Bad special FX & terrible performances. Jon Voight gets to strut around the boat like some weirdo, macho yutz -- AND he's a missionary!!! Later, he's eaten by a giant animatronic anaconda & regurgitated! OH BOY!!! Watch out, Baby Bird, this is one to avoid!!
- DirectorJay RoachStarsMike MyersHeather GrahamMichael YorkDr. Evil is back and has invented a new time machine that allows him to go back to the 1960s and steal Austin Powers' mojo, inadvertently leaving him "shagless".Whereas the 1st film was smart, clever & witty, this one's just juvenile. Mike Myers is obviously just throwing out every joke & gross-out gag he remembers from being in 4th grade. The 1st had a great sense of satire of the James Bond series -- this one's just a bloody mess.