"Awful" Movies That I Love
Okay so, I'd like to pretend that I have amazing taste in movies 100% of the time, but that's just not true. I take joy in these guilty pleasures.
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- DirectorFran Rubel KuzuiStarsKristy SwansonDonald SutherlandPaul ReubensFlighty teenage girl Buffy Summers learns that she is her generation's destined battler of vampires.A self-centered cheerleader comes to terms with the the fact that-not only are vampires and demons real- but they are attacking her city and she is the only one who can stop them. And it's kind of getting in the way of her social life. All the Buffy-centric hijinks you love - the love triangles + Donald Sutherland. And the TV show picks up right where the movie leaves off, so if you're any sort of Buffy fan, you know this means WE GET TO SEE BUFFY SUMMERS BURN DOWN A HIGH SCHOOL. And last I checked it's available for Instant Streaming on Netflix. Go man, go!
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsPaul GiamattiBryce Dallas HowardJeffrey WrightApartment building superintendent Cleveland Heep rescues what he thinks is a young woman from the pool he maintains. When he discovers that she is actually a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the journey back to her home, he works with his tenants to protect his new friend from the creatures that are determined to keep her in our world.So I know we pretty much all gave up on M. Night after Sixth Sense, but I actually really enjoy this movie, if for no reason other than it's colorful and memorable cast of characters. One of the few times I liked Paul Giamatti...*hides face*
- DirectorTim HillStarsAlex D. LinzLarry MillerJamie KennedyMax Keeble, the victim of his 7th grade class, plots revenge when he learns that he's moving, but it backfires when he isn't after all.Okay, so here's where we start getting into children's movies. Watching children's movies when you get older can be painful sometimes, but I really still enjoy this movie. It might be because of Jamie Kennedy as The Evil Ice Cream Man, or any number of the pranks Max and his friends pull on their tormentors, but I still get a kick out of this movie every time I watch it. Plus, a toddler calling somebody a "fart knocker" gets me every time.
- DirectorKevin LimaStarsBill FarmerJason MarsdenJim CummingsWhen Max makes a preposterous promise to a girl he has a crush on, his chances to fulfilling it seem hopeless when he is dragged onto a cross-country trip with his embarrassing father, Goofy.An embarrassing father, trying to impress your crush, road trip mishaps, pretending to be a pop star at a school assembly...Oh the joys of adolescence. This movie is full of original songs and a lot more emotional "development" than most other movies for children, and I'm really not sure I understood most of the themes when I watched as a child. With all of it's references and dirty jokes, I really think I enjoy this movie more now than I did when I was a kid.
- DirectorKenny OrtegaStarsZac EfronVanessa HudgensAshley TisdaleA popular high school athlete and an academically gifted girl get roles in the school musical and develop a friendship that threatens East High's social order.I hate myself for loving this movie. I hate myself for being able to sing along. I hate myself for being able to quote it. But somehow that doesn't stop me. This movie is poorly written, poorly acted, and poorly lip synced, and yet somehow...infectious. Yes, like a disease. I just can't stop myself from singing along with impassioned, unbridled glee. I know I'm going to look ridiculous enjoying this movie anyway, so why not go all out?
- DirectorClaudio FragassoStarsMichael Paul StephensonGeorge HardyMargo PreyA vacationing family discovers that the entire town they're visiting is inhabited by goblins, disguised as humans, who plan to eat them.This movie is truly horrible. It is a league above the rest on this list. Every single detail of this movie will make you want to pull your hair out. Unless you are me. This movie is possibly my favorite joke of all time. The acting is worse than bad. The script was written in English by people who can barely speak it. This movie is insanely quotable cult cheesiness that fills me with glee. Check out the documentary too:
- DirectorMichael Paul StephensonStarsGeorge HardyPita RayMicki KnoxA look at the making of the film Troll 2 (1990) and its journey from being crowned the "worst film of all time" to a cherished cult classic.Directed by the child star of the original movie, this documentary takes a look at the cult and the culture surrounding the movie that successfully ruined quite a few peoples careers in show biz. My favorite: The dentist from Alabama. Seriously. Check it.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsNoomi RapaceLogan Marshall-GreenMichael FassbenderFollowing clues to the origin of mankind, a team finds a structure on a distant moon, but they soon realize they are not alone.I honestly have no idea why more people didn't like this, I absolutely adored it. If for nothing else, watch it for Fassbender as David 8, he's amazing.
- DirectorStephen ChiodoStarsGrant CramerSuzanne SnyderJohn Allen NelsonAliens who look like clowns come from outer space and terrorize a small town.This movie is exactly what you think is is. Go watch it.
- DirectorJoel ZwickStarsKenan ThompsonKyla PrattOmarionFat Albert and the Cosby Kids come to life and step out of their animated, inner-city Philadelphia world.Ask anybody, a live-action version of Fat Albert is a bad idea. Add the fact that it stars Keenan Thompson and you have a movie that's like a train wreck, it's so very hard to look away. This movie not only features the whole animated gang in cartoon as well as live action form, but it includes a re-vamped, remixed version of the cartoon's original theme song, which Albert himself preforms (along with a choreographed dance routine) at a very large high-school party. Oh, and check out the Aaron Carter cameo.
- DirectorRobert RodriguezStarsAlexa PenaVegaDaryl SabaraAntonio BanderasThe Cortez siblings set out for a mysterious island, where they encounter a genetic scientist and a set of rival spy kids.If the first Spy Kids wasn't dumb enough for you, there is always the sequel. Carmen and Juni visit Steve Buschemi on a magical island, I'm pretty sure they are looking for something called a "transmooker", and they are always having to thwart fellow agents, The Giggle Siblings. Yeah. Oh and they have to save the president. Go fig.
- DirectorBrad SilberlingStarsBill PullmanChristina RicciCathy MoriartyAn afterlife therapist and his daughter meet a friendly young ghost when they move into a crumbling mansion in order to rid the premises of wicked spirits.So, Casper and his uncles are CGI and that guy from Monty Python is in it. Yes, the one you're thinking of. Also, there's lots of science and flirting. So, yeah.
- DirectorPerry Andelin BlakeStarsDana CarveyJennifer EspositoHarold GouldAn Italian waiter fights off a criminal mastermind with his inherited powers of disguise.So, I may get burned at the stake for this one, but this movie honestly makes me laugh. For all its fart jokes, bad puns, and stupid accents, I still think it's the height of comedy. Sure, my taste has refined since the first time I saw this movie, but watching it takes me back to a simpler time when I was allowed to laugh at Gladiators named "Gluteus Maximus"
- DirectorJoe PytkaStarsMichael JordanWayne KnightTheresa RandleIn a desperate attempt to win a basketball match and earn their freedom, the Looney Tunes seek the aid of retired basketball champion, Michael Jordan.A mash up between real life and Warner Brother's cartoons leads to the most epic basketball showdown in the history of the galaxy. And Bill Murry is there, too.
- DirectorBrian LevantStarsIce CubeNia LongAleisha AllenTo impress a foxy divorcee, ladies' man Nick offers to take her kids on an extended road trip, unaware of the torture he's in for.This is a dumb, dumb, stupid movie. It is an everything-goes-wrong road trip with all the classic mis-steps, plus a few dozen more thrown in for good measure. Like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, but with even MORE darkly serious bits in the middle of a light-hearted affair. If only Kevin Bacon had made a cameo. Besides all that, there are still some moments that I really love, and I don't hesitate to watch this movie when it comes on MY every Saturday.
- DirectorSteve PurcellStarsMary-Kate OlsenAshley OlsenBilly Aaron BrownCute twins get driving licenses, a party and a convertible on their 16th birthday. 6 months later they're off on a road trip with 2 friends to the Winter Olympics in Utah. 3 male friends follow in their car. Things don't go as planned.Another road trip movie, only this one was a direct-to-video Olsen Twins feature. Directly after their sixteenth birthday, the twins attempt to make a trip with a few of their friends to Salt Lake City for the winter Olympics. As you probably have come to expect, not everything goes according to plan. One particular misstep involves a tire blow-out over the issue of hot sauce for a breakfast burrito.
- DirectorPeter MacDonaldStarsJason James RichterMelody KayJack BlackA young boy must restore order when a group of bullies steal the magical book that acts as a portal between Earth and the imaginary world of Fantasia.The kid from Free Willy deals with the big issues of the nineties: A new step-family, and not knowing how to properly use hair gel. Thanks to some school bullies called 'The Nasties' (Check it out: YOUNG JACK BLACK) who have found the Neverending Story, mystical creatures show up to make Bastian's life a little bit harder. Even just the trailer is worth it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110647/
Oh, and the movie ends in a silhouetted high-five in classic nineties style. - DirectorJim FallStarsHilary DuffAdam LambergClayton SnyderLizzie McGuire has graduated from middle school and takes a trip to Rome, Italy with her class. And what was supposed to be only a normal trip, becomes a teenager's dream come true.This feature-length series finale to the ever-popular if short lived TV show "Lizzie McGuire" has Lizzie and her senior class taking a trip to Italy where, wouldn't you know it, Lizzie gets mistaken for an Italian pop star and gets roped into posing as her as a personal favor to the dreamy Paulo, himself a prominent pop star. Ethan Craft and Kate Saunders get some really great lines, and Gordo (as well as his afro) bursts with the angst of unrequited love. But this is a Disney movie, so don't worry, everything works itself out. Oh, and we get to hear what Hilary Duff thinks is an Italian accent, just before she does a duet -WITH HERSELF. Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of.
- DirectorRon UnderwoodStarsKevin BaconFred WardFinn CarterNatives of a small isolated town defend themselves against strange underground creatures which are killing them one by one.Victor Wong, Reba, Kevin Bacon, and giant worms. It's like someone found my dream journal.
- DirectorJonathan LynnStarsEileen BrennanTim CurryMadeline KahnSix guests are anonymously invited to a strange mansion for dinner, but after their host is killed, they must cooperate with the staff to identify the murderer as the bodies pile up.I was legitimately surprised when I found out that most people have never heard of this movie. Everyone's favorite murder mystery game gets adapted into a movie about a fatal dinner party, black mail, and the private scandals of our "colorful" guests. The humor is spot-on and continuous, leaving the movie with never a dull moment. Oh and did I mention Tim Curry is in it?