Celebrities Who Need to Die in a Real Life Zombie Apocalypse
by JackedMan | created - 30 Mar 2013 | updated - 06 Jul 2013 | PublicThe film industry today needs to be held accountable for frankly, some appalling decisions that my beloved dong is more capable of avoiding. In this case, the influx of actors/performers who have somehow fooled the public with barely a modicum of talent to their credit.
1. Justin Bieber
Soundtrack | Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Justin Drew Bieber was born on March 1, 1994 at St. Joseph's Hospital in London, Ontario, Canada and was raised in Stratford, Ontario. He is the son of Pattie Mallette and Jeremy Bieber. He is of French-Canadian, Irish, German, English, and Scottish descent. He has three younger half-siblings via ...
The Biggest Douche on planet Earth must be destroyed (for the sake of future generations). Anyone declaring publicly they're a fan will suffer the same consequences.
2. Kristen Stewart
Actress | Snow White and the Huntsman
Though most famous for her role as Isabella "Bella" Swan in The Twilight (2008) Saga, Kristen Stewart has been a working actor since her early years in Los Angeles, California. Her parents, John Stewart and Jules Stewart, both work in film and television. The family includes three boys, Kristen's ...
Whilst I do not advocate violence against women, can it be argued that KS has been created from body parts? (Mary Shelley got it wrong).
3. Robert Pattinson
Actor | Twilight
Robert Douglas Thomas Pattinson was born May 13, 1986 in London, England, to Richard Pattinson, a car dealer importing vintage cars, and Clare Pattinson (née Charlton), who worked as a booker at a model agency. He grew up in Barnes, southwest London with two older sisters. Robert discovered his ...
According to a free British magazine, his face starts riots.
"Your Honour, even though he plays a twinkly vampire, we're still arming ourselves with machetes and hammers!"
Motion sustained.
4. Amanda Seyfried
Actress | Les Misérables
Amanda Seyfried was born and raised in Allentown, Pennsylvania, to Ann (Sander), an occupational therapist, and Jack Seyfried, a pharmacist. She is of German, and some English and Scottish, ancestry. She began modeling when she was eleven, and acted in high school productions as well as taking ...
My clinched butt-cheeks could put in a better performance than this self-indulgent excrement of a car crash.
5. Stephenie Meyer
Producer | The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2
Stephenie born in Connecticut in 1973. Her family was settled in Phoenix by the time she was four. The unusual spelling of her name came from her father, Stephen ( + ie).
Stephenie went to high school in Scottsdale, Arizona. She was awarded a National Merit Scholarship, and she used it to pay her ...
Anyone who dares to pass themselves off as a modern day Bram Stoker needs to be burnt at the stake - witch or no witch.
6. Suzanne Collins
Writer | The Hunger Games
Suzanne Collins is an American television writer and novelist, author of the bestselling series The Underland Chronicles and the wildly successful Hunger Games trilogy that spawned the Lionsgate film The Hunger Games (2012) and the three subsequently announced sequels, The Hunger Games: Catching ...
Took the Hitler ideology of fooling a nation (in his case, a brown-haired Austrian who wanted a blonde-haired, blue-eyed master race). Suzi in turn, ripped off Battle Royale and sadly, there can be no turning back for millions of dumb Americans.
7. Beyoncé
Soundtrack | Dreamgirls
Beyoncé Giselle Knowles was born on September 4, 1981 in Houston, Texas. Her mom, Tina Knowles designs their glittering costumes & her dad, Mathew Knowles manages Destiny's Child. Solange, her sister (they're 4 years apart) has released her debut album. She dances with her big sister during DC-3 ...
A shame the Superbowl power-cut didn't take effect sooner.
8. Rihanna
Actress | Battleship
Rihanna was born Robyn Rihanna Fenty on February 20, 1988 in Bridgetown, St. Michael, Barbados to Monica Braithwaite, an accountant & Ronald Fenty, a warehouse supervisor. Her mother is Afro-Guyanese and her father is of Afro-Barbadian and British Isles ancestry. Rihanna lived the life of a normal ...
In a recent survey, this excuse for a singer's cleavage out-boobed Christina Hendricks. Can I issue an Executive Order for those market researchers to be the victims of Drone attacks?
9. Taylor Swift
Soundtrack | Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour
Taylor Alison Swift is a multi-Grammy award-winning American singer/songwriter who, in 2010 at the age of 20, became the youngest artist in history to win the Grammy Award for Album of the Year. In 2011 Swift was named Billboard's Woman of the Year. She also has been named the American Music Awards...
Harry Styles had a lucky escape. You can too, by turning down the volume.
10. Michelle Obama
Producer | Leave the World Behind
Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama is an American attorney and author who served as the first lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017. She was the first African-American woman to serve in this position. She is married to former President Barack Obama.
Raised on the South Side of Chicago, Illinois,...
Were you turned off by Meech's cameo at this year's Oscars? Guess the Americans know where their taxes are going to! Impeach this silly excuse for a woman and her douche-hubby as well.
11. Justin Timberlake
Soundtrack | Trolls
Justin Randall Timberlake was born on January 31, 1981, in Memphis, Tennessee, to Lynn (Bomar) and Randall Timberlake, whose own father was a Baptist minister. At the age of 11, he appeared on the show Star Search (1983), and even though he didn't win, it didn't dampen his ambitions. He also ...
Honestly, after watching Bad Teacher, Timber-douche's performance made me want my money back.
12. Reese Witherspoon
Producer | Wild
Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon was born on March 22, 1976 in New Orleans, Louisiana to Betty Witherspoon, a registered nurse & John Draper Witherspoon, a military surgeon. Reese spent the first 4 years of her life in Wiesbaden, Hesse, Germany, where her father served as a lieutenant colonel in the ...
Note to James Cameron...if you're planning a sequel to True Lies, you can save on the budget by landing 3 Sea Harriers on RW's chin.
13. Kim Kardashian
Actress | Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
TV star, entrepreneur, fashion designer, and author (New York Times best-seller - "Kardashian Konfidential"), Kim Kardashian was born in Los Angeles, California, to Kris Jenner (née Kristen Mary Houghton) and attorney Robert Kardashian. Her father was of Armenian descent and her mother is of mostly...
Remember that footage of Sasquatch from 1967? It survived.
14. Quentin Tarantino
Writer | Reservoir Dogs
Quentin Jerome Tarantino was born in Knoxville, Tennessee. His father, Tony Tarantino, is an Italian-American actor and musician from New York, and his mother, Connie (McHugh), is a nurse from Tennessee. Quentin moved with his mother to Torrance, California, when he was four years old.
In January of...
The self-proclaimed Saviour of the film industry - (does that mean the likes of Coppola, Spielberg & Scorsese are chopped liver? I guess so).
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