Truly Dreadful Films
The worst films I have ever seen, not even entertainingly bad.
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- DirectorZack SnyderStarsBen AffleckHenry CavillAmy AdamsBatman is manipulated by Lex Luthor to fear Superman. Superman´s existence is meanwhile dividing the world and he is framed for murder during an international crisis. The heroes clash and force the neutral Wonder Woman to reemerge.I'm not a huge fan of all this comic book crap but my oh my is this a rubbish film. An incoherent, loud, CGI fest, with no spirit or charm... or anything. Utter *beep* What a waste of an opportunity.
- DirectorDavid S. GoyerStarsWesley SnipesKris KristoffersonParker PoseyBlade, now a wanted man by the FBI, must join forces with the Nightstalkers to face his most challenging enemy yet: Dracula.Despairingly awful; nothing but a long, boring advert for iPods and Jessica Biel's butt.
- DirectorQuentin TarantinoStarsKurt RussellZoë BellRosario DawsonTwo separate sets of voluptuous women are stalked at different times by a scarred stuntman who uses his "death proof" cars to execute his murderous plans.Indulgent, boring nonsense. Only slightly less fun than stubbing your toe.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsEwan McGregorLiam NeesonNatalie PortmanTwo Jedi escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to claim their original glory.And that goes for the second and third episodes too, complete garbage. A bit like watching a cat lick its balls - It's a dull and depressing waste of time that leaves me feeling slightly angry.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsHarrison FordCate BlanchettShia LaBeoufIndiana Jones becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.A big shout out to George and Steve for pulling down their breeches and letting out a steaming pile on my favourite archeologist. Shame on you both, especially you Spielberg, you were my childhood hero.
- DirectorMichael BayStarsShia LaBeoufMegan FoxJosh DuhamelAn ancient struggle between two Cybertronian races, the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, comes to Earth, with a clue to the ultimate power held by a teenager.Cynical crap
- DirectorMichael BayStarsShia LaBeoufMegan FoxJosh DuhamelSam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.Charmless, cynical crap.
- DirectorMcGStarsChristian BaleSam WorthingtonAnton YelchinIn 2018, a mysterious new weapon in the war against the machines, half-human and half-machine, comes to John Connor on the eve of a resistance attack on Skynet. But whose side is he on, and can he be trusted?Complete nonsense, what was Christian Bale thinking? If I were him, I would have had some kind of breakdown starring in this.
- DirectorMichael DavisStarsClive OwenMonica BellucciPaul GiamattiA man named Mr. Smith delivers a woman's baby during a shootout, and is then called upon to protect the newborn from the army of gunmen.Walk-out-of-the-cinema-bad.
- DirectorOliver StoneStarsNicolas CageMichael PeñaMaria BelloTwo Port Authority police officers become trapped under the rubble of the World Trade Center.A real stinker by one of the best directors in the world. Complete disappointment.
- DirectorJimmy HaywardStarsJosh BrolinMegan FoxJohn MalkovichThe U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.Dire tripe.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.Embarrassing rubbish.
- DirectorAdam MarcusStarsJohn D. LeMayKari KeeganKane HodderSerial killer Jason Voorhees' supernatural origins are revealed.Utter crap.
- DirectorJohn G. AvildsenStarsSylvester StalloneTalia ShireBurt YoungReluctantly retired from fighting, Rocky takes charge of Mickey's gym and agrees to train a young protégé who's hungry for success.A franchise that went from mild fantasy to enjoyable farce, bids a farewell with utter tedium. 'Rocky Balboa' went someway toward redemption but was ridiculous.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsNoomi RapaceLogan Marshall-GreenMichael FassbenderFollowing clues to the origin of mankind, a team finds a structure on a distant moon, but they soon realize they are not alone.WTF is this? I mean, apart from an extraordinary waste of money and two hours of my life?
- DirectorFred DekkerStarsRobert John BurkeNancy AllenMario MachadoRobocop saves the day once more. This time the half man/half robot takes on ruthless developers who want to evict some people on "their" land.Jesus.
- DirectorBJ DavisStarsBrandon LeeDebi A. MonahanErnest BorgnineAction superstar Brandon Lee portrays rebellious government agent Michael Gold who is sent on a desperate mission to a Soviet-controlled African nation in order to uncover a top-secret laser weapons operation and destroy it.Poor Brandon Lee, was a huge fan of his in my younger years. He managed to bag a couple of decent films, this wasn't one of them.
- DirectorJoe CastroStarsBeverly LynneLizzy BordenBrandon EllisonIn a quiet suburban neighborhood, two sisters are about to experience the dark and sinister world of Terror Toons. Candy and Cindy's parents have traveled out of town for the weekend leaving the two sisters home alone. Cindy receives a mysterious package in the mail with a free DVD cartoon sent to her by the Devil himself. Candy is having a house party with some firends while Cindy views the cartoon in her room. She unintentionally lets loose two homicidal cartoon characters, Dr. Carnage and Max Assasin. They are out of the cartoon dimension and into the world as we know it. The feindish characters talk, torment and kill the partygoers in wild and kooky cartoon traditions. Cindy is the only one who has the power to stop the demented animations from continuing their insane murder spree. Can she save her friends? Can she save herself from the crazy mayhem?....or will everyone die?Don't really know what to say about this. Just avoid.
- DirectorNorman ApsteinStarsClint HowardJustin IsfeldAnndi McAfeePoor Gregory. After being released from the Wishing Well Sanatorium, all he wants to do is make the children happy. So Gregory reopens the old ice cream factory, and all the unappreciative brats are reprocessed into the flavor of the day.
- DirectorJonathan LiebesmanStarsAaron EckhartMichelle RodriguezBridget MoynahanA squad of U.S. Marines becomes the last line of defense against a global invasion.To be fair I fell asleep for half an hour (which is no mean feat in a loud cinema) so it could have just been the rest of the film that was stunningly mediocre.
- DirectorRon HowardStarsTom HanksAudrey TautouJean RenoA murder inside the Louvre, and clues in Da Vinci paintings, lead to the discovery of a religious mystery protected by a secret society for two thousand years, which could shake the foundations of Christianity.Again, I fell asleep for a half hour or so, but what I saw was pretty darn dull.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsMatthew BroderickJean RenoMaria PitilloFrench nuclear tests irradiate an iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces.A terrible film from a director who is perfectly capable of doing fun summer blockbuster rubbish. This is just rubbish though. Utter rubbish. My 5 year old niece could write a better film.
- DirectorStuart BairdStarsPatrick StewartJonathan FrakesBrent SpinerThe Enterprise is diverted to the Romulan homeworld Romulus, supposedly because they want to negotiate a peace treaty. Captain Picard and his crew discover a serious threat to the Federation once Praetor Shinzon plans to attack Earth.
- DirectorMennan YapoStarsSandra BullockJulian McMahonAmber VallettaA depressed woman learns that her husband was killed in a car accident the previous day, then awakens the next morning to find him alive and well at home; then awakens the day after that to find that he's dead.Bullock at her most irritating - and that's the best thing about this. Megacrap.
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossFreedom fighters Neo, Trinity and Morpheus continue to lead the revolt against the Machine Army, unleashing their arsenal of extraordinary skills and weaponry against the systematic forces of repression and exploitation.Ruinous, dull sequel.
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossThe human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
- DirectorLen WisemanStarsBruce WillisJustin LongTimothy OlyphantJohn McClane and a young hacker join forces to take down master cyber-terrorist Thomas Gabriel in Washington D.C.Quit while you're ahead.
- DirectorPitofStarsHalle BerrySharon StoneBenjamin BrattA shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas.utterly *beep* i n g dreadful
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsEddie MurphyJon TenneyJoey TravoltaAxel Foley, while investigating a car theft ring, comes across something much bigger than that: the same men who killed his boss are running a counterfeit money ring out of a theme park in Los Angeles.
- DirectorLexi AlexanderStarsElijah WoodCharlie HunnamClaire ForlaniA wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad moves to London, where he is introduced to the violent underworld of football hooliganism.
- DirectorJay ChandrasekharStarsSeann William ScottJohnny KnoxvilleJessica SimpsonCousins Bo, Luke, and Daisy Duke, and their uncle Jesse, egg on the authorities of Hazzard County, Boss Hogg and Sheriff Coltrane.
- DirectorJeremiah S. ChechikStarsRalph FiennesUma ThurmanSean ConneryTwo British Agents team up to stop Sir August de Wynter from destroying the world with a weather-changing machine.
- DirectorDouglas McKeownStarsCharles George HildebrandtTom DeFrancoRichard Lee PorterAlien creatures invade a small town and four teenagers, along with a young boy, attempt to escape from them.
- DirectorJames PonsoldtStarsEmma WatsonTom HanksJohn BoyegaA woman lands a dream job at a powerful tech company called the Circle, only to uncover an agenda that will affect the lives of all of humanity.
- DirectorTroy DuffyStarsWillem DafoeSean Patrick FlaneryNorman ReedusTwo Irish Catholic brothers become vigilantes and wipe out Boston's criminal underworld in the name of God.