Worst of 2013
I enjoyed After Earth and the Lone Ranger, so aren't here.
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- DirectorElizabeth BanksSteven BrillSteve CarrStarsEmma StoneStephen MerchantRichard GereA series of interconnected short films follows a washed-up producer as he pitches insane story lines featuring some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.I could hardly get passed the first scene. Those balls on Hugh Jackman's chin looked too real lol. The movie is hard to sit through it's so bad. There's too many good actors wasted to not see this as an awful movie.
Chloe Moretz needs to fire her agent, as should the rest of the cast. - DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerKevin JamesChris RockAfter moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, Lenny finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and four hundred costumed party crashers sometimes crazy follows you.Yes, I laughed but still it's pretty bad but Movie 43 almost makes it look good.
- DirectorRobert SchwentkeStarsRyan ReynoldsJeff BridgesMary-Louise ParkerA cop killed by his own partner joins RIPD, an afterlife law enforcement department working to apprehend various monsters disguised as humans living on earth, and gets paired up with a smart-mouthed veteran.A goofy mess with bad cgi. Jeff Bridges could do better and has. While Ryan Reynolds should probably stick to comedies, his big summer movies have been duds.
- DirectorRaja GosnellStarsNeil Patrick HarrisJayma MaysKaty PerryThe Smurfs team up with their human friends to rescue Smurfette, who has been abducted by Gargamel, since she knows a secret spell that can turn the evil sorcerer's newest creation, creatures called "The Naughties", into real Smurfs.Yes, I am torn between **1/2 or *** but they should just stop and make a new cartoon show. Why here then ? It's harmless but the director should stop adapting classic cartoon shows. A part 3 was rumored since part 1 was a hit. But with the first in NY, the second in Paris and a kid named Blue, how can it get worse ?
- DirectorJohn MooreStarsBruce WillisJai CourtneySebastian KochJohn McClane travels to Russia to help out his seemingly wayward son, Jack, only to discover that Jack is a CIA operative working undercover, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces.John MCclaine is lazily placed in Russia to team up with his son. His son of course doesn't get along with his father, like his mother and sister in previous in films. But the two bond while killing bad guys.
Live Free or Die Hard at least tried to do the character justice and had an actual plot. Here there's just non-stop meaningless action. And the weakest villain of them all. - DirectorJon M. ChuStarsDwayne JohnsonChanning TatumAdrianne PalickiThe G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.The Rock who wasn't in the first is suddenly in charge of the Joe's. While
it's not like Channing Tatum was the best Duke but I grew up with the show and Duke was always the leader.
The movie is some how better and worse than the first at the same time. The first at least had more characters from the show and kind of tried to do them justice.
Reboot please. - DirectorTommy WirkolaStarsJeremy RennerGemma ArtertonPeter StormareBrother/sister duo Hansel and Gretel are professional witch-hunters who help innocent villagers. One day they stumble upon a case that could hold the key to their past.There's nothing really wrong with the leads, I like both. However, the movie just feels uninspired and only exists because re-imagined fairytales are in right now. Is hard to take a movie serious that has the characters yelling "Hansel!" and "Gretal!" to each other throughout.
The movie reminds me of Brothers Grimm, except it makes it looks good. - DirectorHarmony KorineStarsVanessa HudgensSelena GomezAshley BensonFour college girls hold up a restaurant in order to fund their spring break vacation. While partying, drinking, and taking drugs, they are arrested, only to be bailed out by a drug and arms dealer.Did I see the same movie that Richard Roeper gave ***1/2, called unforgettable and one of the year's best ? It has tons of hotness in one movie but it's a road to nowhere. The movie is pointless. With better direction and more of a plot, yes it could have been one of the best of 2013.
- DirectorBrad AndersonStarsHalle BerryEvie ThompsonAbigail BreslinWhen a veteran 911 operator takes a life-altering call from a teenage girl who has just been abducted, she realizes that she must confront a killer from her past in order to save the girl's life.Reminds me of another bad movie called Gone. Yet, sadly WWE films have gotten better. Halle Berry or Colin Farrell in a WWE film, beats sitting through John Cena trying to act. Still, despite being kind of well made in the beginning, it gets more and more silly as it goes on.
- DirectorBenson LeeStarsJosh HollowayLaz AlonsoJosh PeckBattle of the Year attracts all the best teams from around the world, but the Americans haven't won in fifteen years. Dante enlists Blake to assemble a team of the best dancers and bring the Trophy back to America where it started.I was looking forward to this due to being a Josh Holloway fan. However, it's sadly just another lame dance off film.
- DirectorMalcolm D. LeeDavid ZuckerStarsSimon RexAshley TisdaleCharlie SheenA couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they're being stalked by a nefarious demon.
- DirectorMichael TiddesStarsMarlon WayansEssence AtkinsMarlene ForteMalcolm and Kisha move into their dream home, then learn that a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm--determined to keep his sex life on track--turns to a priest, a psychic, and a ghostbusting team for help.
- DirectorCourtney SolomonStarsEthan HawkeSelena GomezJon VoightTo save his kidnapped wife, Brent Magna must drive at the orders of a mysterious man.Fast paced with a lot of action. Yet, it barely kept my attention. Ethan Hawke should just stick with more independent movies like Before Midnight. He's been wasted in all his big Hollywood releases lately.
Here, he just gets to drive fast while demanding his wife back. While Selina Gomez just gives a "look I have a foul mouth and am not a Disney girl any more" performance. And that ending is totally a rip-off of Phone Booth.