spooky movies

R: Some of the most messed up and inventive body horror I've ever witnessed in a horror film since Carpenter's The Thing. Otherwise mediocre in practically every other respect, and doused with enough torture to make me cringe, I'd suggest giving it a watch if you like seeing the creative things filmmakers can do with guts & gore. A: Worth watching just for the few scenes of crazy good body horror. The rest of the movie, while mediocre and not particularly new or exciting, pulled it off alright and wasn't too painful to go through. Overall a pretty good movie IMO.

R: Not particularly exciting. Standard fare slasher film, but the subject matter (urban exploration) is particularly enticing to me and A. Unless you're really in the mood to watch something about UrbEx without fantasy elements, skip this one and watch The Descent or Grave Encounters. A: I had high hopes for this movie considering its alternate title (Urban Explorer) but it failed for me. It was honestly more boring than scary. The Tunnel Movie focuses on nearly the same subject (urban exploration of tunnels under the city) but pulls it off significantly better even though it is itself a little cheesy.

R: I'm not particularly into torture films, save for maybe the Saw franchise which I will insist is far more good old suspense on the gore-heavy side. Mum & Dad doesn't hesitate with the torture porn. It doesn't pull out all the stops like American Mary or Hostel, but the titular characters are reminiscent of Kathy Bates in Misery or the mad scientist dude in Human Centipede. A: This movie made me cringe more than once! The torture is incredibly disturbing and not something i'd recommend watching on a full stomach ;--0. I had to force myself not to press the pause button, but it was worth it. Not too many movies can pull off this sort of torture well.

R: I have a complicated relationship with this duo of films. Playing with the already-tired found footage genre, but doing so in a way that creates a definitive mythology and aesthetic unique to this particular series. IMO, they're best watched together. This installment is far less creative but in the process more believable and consistently accurate to the medium (VHS tapes, that is).

R: See my commentary on V/H/S 1 for my thoughts on the series. This one's creepier for me because of the variance of subject matter and the creativity put into the camera media. The zombie vignette is weak as hell but the mechanical eye, alien invasion, and mass suicide scenes are excellently crafted, if a bit hokey. Overall, it's incredibly fun to watch.

R: The rare "consistently good film but scarier in Act 1 than the remainder of the movie." The monster design is alright, but the crushing claustrophobia toward the middle of the film is certainly the part that got to me the most. A: One of those movies that could be great if not for a poorly executed ending. What started out as a movie that legitimately made me start to feel uneasy ended up trying way too hard.

R: Say what you want about this movie. Literally anything, I don't care. This movie is brilliant in all its goofiness. The standard our-car-broke-down-lets-check-out-this-spooky-house format, and a completely disgusting premise executed at a startlingly low budget. I have nothing but a begrudging respect for this ridiculous and admittedly occasionally erotic work of art meets trainwreck. A: Its awful. So awful it's great. R pretty much said it all, to be honest. Despite how disgusting it is, it's got that well-pulled-off-low-budget charm.

R: I'm not sure what this movie is about--twelve innocent bystanders' transformation into a disgusting monster inspired by the first installment acting as a meta film within a film, or filmmaker Tom Six's transformation into a Tommy Wiseau figure of legend. Tell this man whatever you want, he is insanely serious about this laughingstock of a film series. I think I'm more afraid of Six than the film itself, but it's at least memorable.

R: Like The Descent, the film's main source of suspense and ambiance is in the first couple acts, leaving the third act a tangled mess. Without spoiling anything, I'm not even quite sure what this movie was ultimately about. There was some twist ending to be sure, but whether it was psychosis or the supernatural or what beats me. Call me simpleminded but the attempt at depth or whatever ruined a very eerie first half of a movie.

R: South Korean Horror. Beats me. What the heck even HAPPENED in this movie. ???????? A: ??????????????????

R: Literally Do Not Talk To Me About This Film, Do Not Mention This Film, Do Not Use The Word Slither Around Me. A: The alien pregnancy was not as hot as it sounded :--(

R: Honestly the fact that I don't remember this movie at all is testament to how I probably felt about it. I'm literally drawing a blank about EVERYTHING that occurred in this movie. A: Another urban explorer movie, and another movie that is good until the monster comes around. Not a great movie but not awful either.

R: Traditional Miike surrealism, with a crushing heaviness and obscurity to it equal to the likes of Eraserhead, Tetsuo the Iron Man, or Begotten. It's a visceral portrait of violence, sex, family, and a mix of all of the above (yes, incest is what the referance). Opaque and difficult to watch at times, Visitor Q is almost better viewed as a series of disturbing vignettes of a not-so-average family. A: I didnt know someone could produce that much breast milk in such a short time

R: An incredibly fun found footage film that turns the genre over on its head. Already done by the 2010 film House of Bones, sure, but superior in practically every way. The protagonists are the disillusioned creators of a "Ghost Hunters" esque television show, not too different from the guy in 1408 but with cameras instead of books. Jump scares and House of Leaves inspiration abound, it's a complete party in the form of a tribute to the entire horror canon.

R: An inferior version of the first installment, but nonetheless pretty fun. This time we break the fourth wall and observe the abandoned asylum as a group of raucous college kids who decide to follow the footsteps of the very real GE 1. Far more outlandish in its low-budget special effects and admittedly forced mythology, it's still an enjoyable flick if you're not looking for anything serious.

R: I confuse this one with Dark Skies because ultimately they're both dull revivals of the gray alien terror of the Cold War era. Unlike Dark Skies, this one is a mockumentary take on a supposedly true story a la The Poughkeepsie Tapes or the 2005 series A Haunting. Where it falls flat though is the sheer dullness of it all. Overdone horror tropes + an attempt at documentary style realism = recipe for disaster. Disheartening considering how much I love aliens.

R: A bit too torture-porn for my tastes, but it's nonetheless an endlessly creative movie. Without spoiling it: seedy strip joints, reconstructive surgery to become a real-life Betty Boop, I Spit On Your Grave except with Xtreme Body Modification as punishment, lots of gory torture glamor. A: I liked this movie but i'm kind of into amputation soooo

R: *GROANS AUDIBLY DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE IS NOBODY IN HEARING RANGE* A: I don't even remember this one

R: Terrifying. What sets this apart from any other found footage film about a suburban family struck with untimely disaster? Not much tbqh, but the eerie feeling throughout and the foreshadowing leading up to the final few seconds pay off and WILL haunt your nightmares.

R: Unlike most remakes, this one. Can't really be compared to the original? Both very average films in their own respects, they both suffer from being incorrectly marketed as horror films. They're both coming-of-age/sci-fi movies. But I guess blood and Stephen King make it classify as horror? Whatever :? This breathes life into the dated original and, I guess, makes it more relate-able to this generation, and I won't condemn the film for that.

R: Ok, do yourself a favor. Read the manga by Junji Ito first. It'll be far more satisfying as I see this film as a sort of supplemental material to those whose horror craving wasn't sated by Ito's twisted terrors. Lovely greenish tinted cinematography and endearingly Y2K special effects, it's the most you could expect from Uzumaki put onto the screen. I just wish the scar chapter was included, and that the hair chapter got more screentime.

R: The way I see this is a group of filmmakers found a creepy tunnel and rolled with it. "Hey guys let's make a movie." I could be way off the mark but that's how it plays out. More or less aimless with a confusing plot and acting that leaves much to be desired but hey. Check out this cool tunnel.

R: Misled by the title and poster into thinking I'd be watching something Jeepers Creepers style, maybe even with some campy Creepshow elements, I wandered into this mess. Don't judge a book by its cover, kids. As big an advocate as I am for low-budget films that at least TRIED, this was. Just painfully uninspired. A forgettable monster. A forgettable plot. Skip it.

R: BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID. One of my favorite movies of all time. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll vomit as Jeff Goldblum loses his ear and all of his fingernails. You will repeatedly ask yourself: Why?? And your subconscious will answer: Because.

R: Not truly a "horror film," but I'd say Frank and the copious tributes to the likes of Evil Dead are enough to categorize it as one. I think I've seen this movie more than 30 times. It's beautiful. The cinematography, the script, the acting, the mythology, everything. This movie is so. Good. Also: Smurfs, and their dubious sexuality.

R: Elm Street 3, IMO, is when the series starts going downhill, and incidentally part 3 of what many see as its sister series, Friday the 13th, is where it starts going uphill. Probably an unpopular opinion? I don't care. Freddie's backstory coming to light and the very creative death scenes are its saving grace. The rest? Well. "I'm the wizard master!" Put that next to a villain who's being forced into the roles of intimidating monster/sympathetic poltergeist/comedic murderer and comes out none of the above, and you've got (SLASHER SOUND) a nightmare.

R: As campy as its previous installment, I guess it at least owns up to that fact? Freddie, unfunny as ever, murders teenagers with some nebulous connection to Parts I and IV in the coolest ways imaginable. Subtract the gore-fest and you've got something unbelievably goofy and not in a good way. That's basically the formula for this whole series.

R: The scariest part of this movie is the fact that Dane Cook managed to squeeze one or two laughs out of me. I still have nightmares. This movie is like Jennifer's Body in many respects--just not as incredible. It's very funny at times, the time loop is neat, and the cast is about as likable as a Breakfast Club-Goes-Scary Movie as you can get, but it falls apart in Act 3 (a lot like John Dies at the End come to think of it)

R: VINES UNDER THEIR SKIN VINES UNDER THEIR SKIN DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP A: nnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO