October Halloween Horrorfest 2016
Keeping track of the horror movies I'm watching for some Halloween fun. Netflix, Hulu and Amazon--2016 and 2015, across all genres of horror, I'll watch a bunch of crap and hope some smells good. 30 movies ending with John Carpenter's Halloween. Starting early because I'm having surgery in October.
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31 titles
- DirectorJason HowdenStarsMilo CawthorneJames Joshua BlakeKimberley CrossmanTwo teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives.Awesome. Heavy Metal, demons, Satan, comedy and tons of gore. Heads split, sanded, squished,drilled, crushed by engine, pulled out of body with spine attached and more, limbs lopped left and right and and a great bloody sex toy fight. Metal!
- DirectorChristopher LandonStarsTye SheridanLogan MillerJoey MorganThree scouts, on the eve of their last camp-out, discover the true meaning of friendship when they attempt to save their town from a zombie outbreak.Definitely recommended. Kind of a Speilberg/Goonies feel with believable kids growing up. Of course they have to grow up because their town is overrun by zombies. The action and gore start right away and are pretty non stop. It's funny too. Zombie Cloris Leachman, Zombie deer and cats,
and what looks to be a 5.7 Liter V8 Buick Roadmaster. Good job. Oh----there're zombie boobies too. - DirectorPearry Reginald TeoStarsFrancesca SantoroStephen ManleyDavid O'DonnellWhen one of their own loses his wife and daughter at the hands of a serial killer, a team of ghost hunters is determined to capture the spirits of the loved ones so their spirits can finally rest in peace. But as the team goes deeper into the house, the ghosts become more hostile, and the group discovers the true secrets of the house and its murderer.This was pretty good for an October Halloween watch. Not quite enough gore, definitely no boobies. A mishmash of a bunch of horror movies that was dark and violent enough for Halloween for me. The main girl, Francesca Santoro is pretty cute. She wears these steampunk/ghost seeing glasses in a bunch of scenes and looks pretty cute in them. SO if you're into cute girls in steampunk glasses, you're gonna love this movie. October Halloween viewing approved.
- DirectorJason KrawczykStarsHenry RollinsBooboo StewartKate GreenhouseJack, a social outcast, is thrust out of his comfort zone when the outside world bangs on his door and he can't contain his violent past.Pretty good. Recommended Halloween or fun filled night of violence movie watching. Added bonus: Main bad guy is Steven Ogg(Trevor from GTA V).
- DirectorAbel FerraraStarsAbel FerraraCarolyn MarzBaybi DayAn artist slowly goes insane while struggling to pay his bills, work on his paintings, and care for his two female roommates, which leads him taking to the streets of New York after dark and randomly killing derelicts with a power drill.philhendrieshow.com Phil did a funny commentary on this so I had to watch it. The commentary is hilarious. The movie is a classic splatterfest from a different time in New York City. This is a gritty movie, fueled by heroin with an artistic edge.
- DirectorJared CohnStarsEric BalfourBianca A. SantosRomeo MillerThe residents of a small town discover that something more sinister than killer wolves is lurking in the backwoods: first the wolves start turning up dead...then people.A bit of a corny werewolf movie, but it plays it straight and that works. Decent beginning to the October fest. Lots of real wolves attacking people, a giant wolf monster, boobies, Eric Balfour acting serious and Patrick Muldoon.
6 Patrick Muldoon's out of 10. Patrick Muldoon.
When else would you watch this if not in October? - DirectorTed GeogheganStarsAndrew SensenigBarbara CramptonLarry FessendenIn the cold, wintery fields of New England, a lonely old house wakes up every thirty years - and demands a sacrifice.Slow ghost story that rapidly becomes a pretty satisfying gore flick. The ghosts are pretty pissed off. Eyes punched into head, arm through back heart shot, fire poker through the eye, stabbings, shotgun head shot explosion, 3 knives plunged into one neck with long drawn out blood spurting death, and a completely awesome head crushing cranium explosion worthy of Scanners. Pumpkin stamp of approval.
- DirectorSteven R. MonroeStarsSarah LindDevon SawaGina HoldenTaking place years after The Haunting of Molly Hartley, who now, as an adult, has fallen under the possession of an evil spirit and must be exorcised by a fallen priest before the devil completely takes her.It must be fun to be an extra in an insane asylum movie---acting crazy or shuffling around like a zombie. Pretty decent exorcism flick. Devon Sawa is good as the priest. Acceptable October possession flick. Not very gory, but the therapist getting blasted in the face with puke is pretty awesome I watched it about 5 times in a row before getting on with the rest of the movie.
- DirectorPhil JoanouStarsJessica AlbaThomas JaneLily RabeTwenty-five years after members of a religious cult committed mass suicide, the lone survivor returns to the scene of the tragedy with a documentary crew in tow.At least this movie has a budget and looks good. A lot of jump scares, some gore and violence. Confusing. Why is Jessica Alba in this? Thomas Jane is entertaining as the mystical cult leader. Still confusing, yet perfectly acceptable Halloween horror.
- DirectorMatthias Olof EichStarsPatrick JahnsEsther MaaßAciel Martinez PolIn the picturesque Bavarian town of Oberammergau, two friends, Markus and Thomas, are using the instructions found in an old Jewish diary to gain access to a WW II underground military base formerly codenamed: CERUSIT.This is an FPS video game made into a movie. Complete with training level, escalating enemeis leading to the inevitable boss battle with zombie Hitler. Aliens, zombies, nazis, soldiers. A lot of action, not a lot of gore more aftergore. Hilarious American dubbing. Creepy bunker. Filmmakers are having some fun with this one. If you like FPS videogames, you'll get it. Although you'd probably rather play it than watch it. October approved.
- DirectorAlberto SciammaStarsVinnie JonesCostas MandylorGianni CapaldiSix criminals are tasked with kidnapping a young woman for ransom, but when they get locked inside her mansion, what they find is not what they expected.This is some weird ass shiat. There is a scene where the criminals are playing hot potato with a cute vampire infant/rubber doll that keeps biting them in the neck. WTF? Different but pretty cool. Recommended for October Horror viewing.
- DirectorJoseph P. GenierStarsEllen HollmanColm MeaneyWill KempDesperate to save his fiancee from a demon that has possessed her soul, a man turns to his longtime priest for help.Dr Giggles possesses a hot blonde who goes on a murderous rampage before being exorcised of the demon. Above average Satanic posession movie. No gore or boobies. A lot of wild, weird action and fights. Should suffice for decent Halloween movie viewing.
- DirectorDavid BuchertChris St.CroixStarsScott AakerAndria ArmstrongShannon BealsTwisted tales of terror featuring an axe wielding maniac, a sinister matchmaker and sin eating creature from hell.Didn't realize this was horror short story trilogy. I wish it wasn't. The first story had a girl who was badass and looked like Jenny Slate with her top off. She should have been in the whole movie. The other 2 short swere not as enjoyable for me. The main problem is there was a lot of violence and guts, just no gore---only aftergore. ONLY watch in October.
- DirectorJay LenderMicah WrightStarsMia MarconKris LemcheDavid AlpayThe renovation of an old house in a village somewhere in Eastern Europe will bring the crew of an American home improvement TV show up against superstitions, misunderstandings and bloody violence.An "Ugly American" film crew go to Romania to shoot a house renovation done by a ditzy redhead American girl who moved there. The crew are obnoxious and piss off an entire town, AND a demon/witch/succubus from hell who proceeds to literally rip apart said entire town's villagers. And the annoying film crew! She has fire whip snake arms and goes on a pretty cool gory/bloody, demonic rampage.
The actor who plays Vladimir, the local Real Estate agent, is very funny. Unfortunately that actor(was on Sons of Anarchy) killed his girlfriends rabbit, skinned it, ate it and sent some lovely photos of his meal to her. He only got 60 days Community Service. Happy Halloween! - DirectorGregory PlotkinStarsChris J. MurrayBrit ShawIvy GeorgeUsing a special camera that can see spirits, a family must protect their daughter from an evil entity with a sinister plan.I saw 1, and 2 and wasn't interested in the Midwives/Witch setup so that was that. This is the last in the series. If you've never seen any of these movies, this might be the one to watch. It's got the found footage, the jump scares, the midwives and lots of ghostly CGI effects. Or if you just have to see them all, go for it. I'm giving this an October recommendation only for those reasons. For me, I don't recommend ANY Paranormal Activity movies for any reason.
- DirectorMike FlanaganStarsJohn Gallagher Jr.Kate SiegelMichael TruccoA deaf and mute writer who retreated into the woods to live a solitary life must fight for her life in silence when a masked killer appears at her window.Boring. Was probably fun for the sound designer. Good sound design does not make a good Halloween slasher movie. Horror movies being made today are boring, nothing happens and have barely any gore. The "scariest" part of THIS movie is the mask, it's on the poster even, but then they take it off the killer and we get the terrifying menace of generic goattee neck tattoo guy.
- DirectorRob FedericStarsHaylie DuffMichael IronsideGib GerardA rich heiress and her friends head for a weekend of fun at her isolated ranch house in the middle of no man's land. They soon find that the caretaker's dark past, has taken him down a bloody killing spree.Not a good slasher movie. No gore or splatterification. Very little happens at all. The director did get a good performance out of the psycho killer Marine caretaker guy. He was the only likable character in the movie. SO if you're a huge fan of Gonzalo Menendez, you're gonna love this movie. He carries it. Absolutely unacceptable October Halloween viewing. 3 Gonzalo Menendezes out of 10.
- DirectorPeter A. DowlingStarsRadha MitchellRupert GravesIan McElhinneyAfter digging up a bizarrely mutilated corpse on her land, physician Tora Hamilton uncovers a lethal connection to ancient pagan rituals.I've been duped. This is not a horror movie. It is a murder investigation movie. You could do worse than this one but like I said, this is NOT a horror movie.
- DirectorBrett GerkingStarsJason HeddenTracy ToddDale CoxDiscover a real haunted Florida mansion, hear the stories of the family that lived there, and see the discoveries from a paranormal investigation team. See real ghostly activities inside and out of this historic 100 year old manor.I think this is an attempt at a pilot to sell a tv show about ghost hunters. It would help if the editor tried to tell a coherent story. Instead, the editor barrages you with cut cut cut, cheesy effect, cheesy effect, cheesy effect. Don't let your 15 year old aspiring editor son go crazy with After Effects.
- DirectorMarlon LaddStarsMarlon LaddChris PaulCara BlackDuring a zombie outbreak in the MidWest zombie slayers Craig and Tyrone Jones desperately search for their missing sister only to be harassed by the thousands of blood hungry zombies. Their mission slowly turns comedic when the 2 brothers argue about who is the better slayer of the 2. The journey lands them 4 outsiders who are asked to join the team in a desperate mission to save a life.I guess this was a webseries or something. As a full length movie, this sucks. There are gunshot splatters but no squibs. NO GORE-----IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE. Bad comedy, very little action. There is a 5 minute Michael Jackson "Thriller-esque" dance battle between the 2 Brothers Jones instead of somebody being diembowled by zombies. This movie is a terrible choice for a good October Halloween zombie movie. Skip it.
- DirectorPaolo BertolaStarsGino BarzacchiGabriel CashMark DodsonThe L9 Commando is a task force composed of 6 of the best soldiers from different Special Forces Units. After a successful drug operation take-down, they are are called on for an important mission that brings them to Albania where they discover a sinister plan that could destroy everything.Truly awful. Bare minimum effort to sell a movie to TV distributors. CGI from the PS1 era, CGI muzle shots,zero gore, the spiders spray CGI green blood and are rendered poorly. To top it off, this movie is dubbed and they dubbed over all the room tone and foley and, so some scenes all you hear is the lone voice actor doing 3 different voices in one scene. Just bad ll around.
- DirectorHumberto RosaThairon MendesStarsCiara Rose BurkeLyn LorkenPatrick MurphyA group of young people went on a abandoned hostel in Sligo, Ireland. After they play a really creepy game, all of them disappear.Generic found footage movie is generic. Move along. Nothing to see here.
- DirectorDan WaltonDan ZacharyStarsDarren MathesonLynn CsontosEliza FariaA family moves into an abandoned orphanage and they soon learn that their charming orphanage has a disturbing history and are convinced they aren't alone.Wow. This is not good. All of the main characters are detestable and none of them die except the dog. Slow boring family drama, unbelievably stupid and in denial family. Zero gore. Zero boobies. The main actress must have the magic pussy because she somehow convinced the directors she should be in every scene and do lots of serious, mom/family crisis acting for her reel and she sucks. Note to horror directors. Your actors are not good. They exist in horror movies to be murdered gorily and graphically. Don't let them act, just kill them...that's what we want to see ffs.
- DirectorNick SlatkinStarsJ. Damian AnastasioBrittney BertierCameron BigelowIn 1985, a celebrated exorcist trapped a horrific demon inside a ouija board. Thinking the board to be a game, his son played without obeying the rules, and let the demon loose. In order to save his son, the exorcist sent him far away until the demon could be destroyed. Thirty years later, and after his death, his grandson finds the board and makes the same mistake his father did. Now the evil is back and roaming the earth to terrorize those responsible for its imprisonment.If you don't have Tawny Kitaen as your star, don't make a ouija board movie. There is one horrific scene in this movie : A kid at the funeral for his OWN GRANDDAD, uses the line on girl he just met: "You must've made this yourself because it smells, heavenly!". AT HIS GRANDDAD'S FUNERAL. A PICKUP LINE.
- DirectorKansas BowlingStarsKadeem HardisonKato KaelinLeilani FidelerThe first slasher film to be set in prehistoric times!Wow. This isn't even bad...it's nothing. Nobody making this gives a crap about making anything remotely good so don't waste your time. This is not a campy caveman serial killer movie. This is a complete insult to October Halloween Horror.
- DirectorMark NeveldineStarsOlivia Taylor DudleyMichael PeñaDougray ScottA priest and two Vatican exorcists must do battle with an ancient satanic force to save the soul of a young woman.Boring. Can't decide what kind of a Satanic movie it wants to be. Director made the Crank movies. Offscreen gore from the director of CRANK? Also this movie doesn't even have Devon Sawa. Zero Devon Sawa's out of 10 translates to a one star October Halloween Satan vs Catholics movie. Devon Sawa.
- DirectorLaurence HollowayRichard StoudtStarsChris LabadieMichael HanelinDavid NelsonThe dead have stories to tell a horror fan seeking the obscure.This was hard to get through. 4 uninspired "horror" shorts with bad everything. A DP who is in love with his blue gel. Really low budget, no gore---no boobies, no nothing. Except for a possessed Corvette. There's that. DO NOT WATCH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I already did that so that you won't have to.
- DirectorDavid B. Stewart IIIStarsDavid B. Stewart IIIAngelina LeighChuck MaherThe Reichsfuhrer-SS Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's most loyal henchman. See what happens when he meets Erebus, the gatekeeper of Hell. See the nightmarish suffering that awaits the infamous Nazi leader who murdered millions.Nothing happens at all in this POS. I don't know what to think. I guess he likes Nazis and rubber monster suits. Maybe it's a dogplay fetish movie. Who knows? Who cares? It's not an October Horror movie that's for sure. This is the first movie I fell asleep to before the end in this years' October Fest. DO NOT WATCH UNLESS YOU ARE A NAZI SYMPATHISER WEIRDO----YOU DESERVE THE SUFFERING.
- DirectorKazeem MolakeStarsHeather Paige CohnGreg GilardiOmar GoodingHigh-school seniors on their way to prom are hijacked by a psychotic killer. As he tortures the teens, they turn on each other to survive.Goddammit!!! So bad. Since when do horror movies have Glee numbers in them? Why is this movie "shot" with security cams and cellphones for no reason? Why would anyone watch this crap? GODDAMMIT! I DID! WHY?! Horror movies are in serious trouble.
- DirectorMark PoloniaStarsJeff KirkendallDanielle DonahueDave FifeA scientist creates a toxic cocktail that slowly leaks into the local population, creating flesh-eating zombies - and only one creature of legend can stop the growing hordes of the undead.Bigfoot is a 5'10" 170 pound dude in a rubber gorilla suit. Seriously. Whoever made this "movie" hates making movies, hates horror movies, hates zombies, hates gore, hates Bigfoot, hates themselves and HATES YOU. Why else would they try to get you to watch this crap? Did they make a quick buck selling this to Amazon? This is nothing. This movie a slap in your face you stupid idiot. One of the zombies looks like Jared from Storage Wars, haha.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsDonald PleasenceJamie Lee CurtisTony MoranFifteen years after murdering his sister on Halloween night 1963, Michael Myers escapes from a mental hospital and returns to the small town of Haddonfield, Illinois to kill again.I'll watch this Monday night after kids and candy. Have a good weekend and Happy Halloween.