People with the Best Names

The person on this list most likely to share his first name with a superhero.

I have no idea how to pronounce this dude's name and that right there is his appeal. His enemies would be far to distracted by the frankly unnecessary amount of vowels in this guy's name. Before they could attack, Mr. Akinnnnuoyeoeoe-Agbajebaje would have dispatched each with fatal accuracy.

At first glance, "Dirk Benedict" might not seem that impressive. Yet "Dirk" is exactly the kind of brief, strong, four-letter name the heroes in old-timey adventure serials had. "Benedict," meanwhile, implies old world anglo refinement.

Similar to Lucy Lawless, Johnny Cash has an awesome last name. Imagine being called "MR. CASH" and all the instant respect that would gain you.

Cheng Pei-pei is exactly what she sounds like: An awesome Asian lady who could kick the crap out of you.

For years, I would intentionally mispronounce Billy Drago's name as "Billy Dragon." Of course, I did. You would too. I bet Billy does it as well.

Tyson Fury is a boxing champion. Which is appropriate as his name sounds like somebody Rocky would fight.

DICK! HAMMER! Ohmygawd, there's actually a guy named DICK HAMMER! lolololol

Well, "Gunnar" has the word "gun" in it, so that right there is reason enough to include Mr. Hansen. However, "Hansen" is a fairly manly last name. Put them together and its like poetry.

His first name is Wings! WINGS!

The only person crazy enough to keep Klaus Kinski under control was Werner Herzog, who I am fairly certain is actually a Norse god.

"Kane" was the name of the Biblical first murderer while "Hodder" sounds a bit like "Holder." Therefore, Kane Hodder's name suggests he is holding your life in his hands because he can murder you without a moment's notice.

Isn't Djimon a Digimon?

This is straight-up some cartoon bullshit. There's no way anyone who speaks the English language ever put these two words together before this dude came along. Respect for being completely ridiculous, Engelbert.

Michael Ironside is famous for playing hardass tough guys. Of course he is. His last name is IRONSIDE.

Alejandro Jodorowsky's insane movies makes him seem like the kind of guy that could lead a doomsday cult and, frankly, his name matches up with that assumption.

No one can argue with a strong, solid last name like "Johnson." There's a reason men use it as another word for their penis. It implies strength and solidarity. But that first name , TOR, makes Tor Johnson sound like some kind of crazy, awesome Viking warrior.

Patrick Kilpatrick's name seems to imply that he is always on the verge of suicide.

Klaus Kinski's name was designed to be yelled at the top of your lungs. Try it. Try screaming "KINSKI!!!!!" By all accounts, he was completely insane in real life, giving you good reason to be afraid of him.

Dieter is a pretty awesome name by itself but that last name, man. If Dieter Laser was a doctor, he would be DOCTOR LASER. Considering the roles he's played, he's already half-way to a supervillain already.

Imagine being a student in high school and having the phrase "MISS LAWLESS, REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE" come over the intercom. Clearly, someone with the last name of LAWLESS gets into exciting and dangerous situations all the time.

I hear, in the mountains of Scandinavia, they celebrate a holiday that is like our Christmas but something other than gifts is exchanged around the tree. This tradition is called DICKMAAS.

The word "man" is already in his name so Costas Mandylor is already manlier then you or I. The first name of "Costas" sounds a bit like "Cost us," as in "That mistake cost us our lives because Costas Mandylor is going to murder all of us."

Nero was a crazy Roman emperor who reportedly played the fiddle while his city burnt to the ground. Perhaps not the most mentally stable actions but admittedly pretty awesome. Franco, as a first name, invokes bold adventures and excitement. Therefore, Franco Nero was destined to be awesome.

The name like "Wolfgang" brings to mind a pack of hungry, powerful, vicious animals. "Puck" is a mischevious and powerful fairy in British legend. Thus, Wolfgang Puck is a immortal, magical being with a gang of wolves inside of his head.

First off, RAMBO is one of the baddest fictional characters ever, an unstoppable killing machine of a man. Dack, meanwhile, is an utterly unique name. Thus, Dack Rambo was, paradoxically, both an awesome, established fictional character and also something never heard of before.

Thurl Ravenscroft is the person on this list most likely to be a superhero civilian identity. "By day, he is THURL RAVENSCROFT, millionaire industrialist. By night, he is THE RAVEN, defender of the city" or something like that.

Rex Reason has never lost a debate because his last name is "Reason," as in abiding pure logic, and his first name is "Rex," as in a giant dinosaur that eats people.

Ving sounds like Bing which sounds like Bling, which is something cool dudes carry around their necks. Rhames almost sounds like Ring which rhymes with Ving and we all know rhyming things are awesome.

Sam rocks and he rocks WELL.

Somebody named "Deep" must be very knowledgeable about the world around him. You'd ask this guy's friends about him and he'd say, "Whoa man, that's DEEP!" That his last name is Roy, usually a first name, seems to suggest that "Deep" isn't actually his real name but a title he earned after impressing a council of monks and geniuses. "We bestow upon you the title of DEEP! From henceforth, you are DEEP ROY!"

Naturally.

HOLY CRAP, YOU GUYS. Are we sure Warhawk Tanzania isn't a Conan the Barbarian supporting character who somehow escaped into reality?

Rip and Torn are the two words used to describe what a pack of lions do to a defenseless zebra.

Lee is a perfectly strong, awesome name. Van adds a layer of European refinement. While Cleef sounds like "Cleave," as in "cleaving your head from your still moving body."

Mario is a classic Italian name which brings to mind a guy crushing giant turtles with the sheer force of his body. "Van Peebles," admittedly, is not awesome. The ironic contrast between the two names is actually what makes Mario Van Peebles sound so awesome.

First name: GORE, as in the spilled entrails of your fallen enemies. Last name: VERBINSKI as in a Bond villain or a crazy serial killer.

Yu Wang is the rare person whose name can double as an insult.

Come on guys, the dude's middle name is "THE DRAGON."

Just imagine "Die Hard" but, instead of terrorists, John McClane had to fight werewolves. Or maybe you don't need to imagine that, because this is Finn Wolfhard's life.

"Frank" is like John, Joe, George, or Rex: A classic name for a strong, rugged action hero. Zagarino throws you for a curveball because its sounds foreign, unique, and dangerous.

Robert is a perfectly fine, strong first name. The last name of Z'Dar, however, adds a layer of mystery to the man. How z'dare you cross Z'Dar!

I have no idea who Kelly Zombor is but I'm fairly certain this person must control an army of undead warriors.