Utterly Stinking Stinkers
The worst movies of all time!
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- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsNicolas CagePatricia ArquetteJohn GoodmanHaunted by the patients he failed to save, a monumentally burned-out Manhattan ambulance paramedic fights to maintain his sanity over three increasingly turbulent nights.Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING, happens in this so called movie AT ALL!
Cage literally drives an ambulance, bizarre & very, very boring - DirectorRandal KleiserStarsJohn TravoltaOlivia Newton-JohnStockard ChanningGood girl Sandy Olsson and greaser Danny Zuko fell in love over the summer. When they unexpectedly discover they're now in the same high school, will they be able to rekindle their romance?Brought about by convicted nonce Johnathan King to "destroy" punk rock.
I would advise a sick bucket, reinforced windows and some Crass and/or DRI to play concurrently! - DirectorBruce RobinsonStarsRichard E. GrantPaul McGannRichard GriffithsIn 1969, two substance-abusing, unemployed actors retreat to the countryside for a holiday that proves disastrous.Pretentious and about as funny as a kick in the 'nads!
- DirectorPeter JacksonStarsElijah WoodViggo MortensenIan McKellenGandalf and Aragorn lead the World of Men against Sauron's army to draw his gaze from Frodo and Sam as they approach Mount Doom with the One Ring.This stands for ALL TLOTR films and you'd probably throw in The Hobbit ones too, I technically wouldn't know as I'm never likely to watch them (Hobbit films)!
- DirectorDavid YatesStarsDaniel RadcliffeEmma WatsonRupert GrintAs Harry Potter begins his sixth year at Hogwarts, he discovers an old book marked as "the property of the Half-Blood Prince" and begins to learn more about Lord Voldemort's dark past.Again, this will stand for ALL HP films, but TBF, I'm not really the target audience! It also helps, aside the movies being awful, that I'm not overly fond of JK Rowling
- DirectorAng LeeStarsEric BanaJennifer ConnellySam ElliottBruce Banner, a genetics researcher with a tragic past, suffers an accident that causes him to transform into a raging green monster when he gets angry.ALL "superhero" type nonsense is headed here
- DirectorSteve CarrStarsKevin JamesKeir O'DonnellJayma MaysWhen a shopping mall is taken over by a gang of organized crooks, it's up to a mild-mannered security guard to save the day.Burn it!
- DirectorSteven KnightStarsTom HardyOlivia ColmanRuth WilsonIvan Locke, a dedicated family man and successful construction manager, receives a phone call on the eve of the biggest challenge of his career that sets in motion a series of events that threaten his carefully cultivated existence.Jesus wept!
Literally a bloke in a car talking about concrete, while drifting in and out of about a dozen different accents!
A gold star though to the person who managed to get this pile of drivel commissioned.
Tom Hardy will look back on this and shiver with utter humiliation I'd imagine - DirectorEthan CoenJoel CoenStarsBrad PittFrances McDormandGeorge ClooneyA disk containing mysterious information from a CIA agent ends up in the hands of two unscrupulous and daft gym employees who attempt to sell it.Again, pretentious and about as funny as a fire in an orphanage
- DirectorOrson WellesStarsOrson WellesJoseph CottenDorothy ComingoreFollowing the death of publishing tycoon Charles Foster Kane, reporters scramble to uncover the meaning of his final utterance: 'Rosebud.'Bored the tits off me! A classic indeed, NOT!
- DirectorColin StrauseGreg StrauseStarsReiko AylesworthSteven PasqualeShareeka EppsWarring Alien and Predator races descend on a rural Colorado town, where unsuspecting residents must band together for any chance of survival.Both AVP "movies"
- DirectorMichael BayStarsWill SmithMartin LawrenceGabrielle UnionTwo loose-cannon narcotics cops investigate the flow of Ecstasy into Florida from a Cuban drug cartel.Both BB's "movies", but this one being a particular vomit inducer!
- DirectorChad StahelskiStarsKeanu ReevesRiccardo ScamarcioIan McShaneAfter returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.Very poor
- DirectorChad StahelskiStarsKeanu ReevesHalle BerryIan McShaneJohn Wick is on the run after killing a member of the international assassins' guild, and with a $14 million price tag on his head, he is the target of hit men and women everywhere.Even worse than the 2nd one, which is quite the achievement!
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossFreedom fighters Neo, Trinity and Morpheus continue to lead the revolt against the Machine Army, unleashing their arsenal of extraordinary skills and weaponry against the systematic forces of repression and exploitation.The Matrix is one of my favourite movies, but I'm affraid the sequels fall somewhat short, inasmuch as they're extremely convoluted and utterly pointless!
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossThe human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.The Matrix is one of my favourite movies, but I'm affraid the sequels fall somewhat short, inasmuch as they're extremely convoluted and utterly pointless!
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsLeonardo DiCaprioJonah HillMargot RobbieBased on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stock-broker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government.What an utterly vile picture this trash paints! The two stars are for the only redeeming thing about this movie and that is the comedic scene where the two main protagonists munch their way through some extremely out of date "ludes"
- DirectorJulian GilbeyStarsRicci HarnettTerry StoneCraig FairbrassThe life of career criminal Carlton Leach.Again an extremely vile picture, that seems to want the viewer to empathise with some extremely vile characters.
- DirectorPaul Thomas AndersonStarsDaniel Day-LewisPaul DanoCiarán HindsA story of family, religion, hatred, oil and madness, focusing on a turn-of-the-century prospector in the early days of the business.Jesus wept! They seem to have taken the charachter, "Bill The Butcher" from "Gangs Of New York" and slapped him bang in the middle of one of the most insipidly boring and tedious chores of a movie ever!
After enduring the entirety of this utter garbage, all I wanted to do was slit my wrists and gouge my eyes out with an ashtray as punishment for the previous two and a half hours of tiresome monotony! - DirectorQuentin TarantinoStarsUma ThurmanDavid CarradineDaryl HannahAfter awakening from a four-year coma, a former assassin wreaks vengeance on the team of assassins who betrayed her.Vol. 2 wasn't much better either! I wish QT had went on the QT instead of making this nonsense!
- DirectorQuentin TarantinoStarsKurt RussellZoë BellRosario DawsonTwo separate sets of voluptuous women are stalked at different times by a scarred stuntman who uses his "death proof" cars to execute his murderous plans.Misogynistic dross, everyone involved should be utterly ashamed!
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsDenzel WashingtonRussell CroweChiwetel EjioforAn outcast New York City cop is charged with bringing down Harlem drug lord Frank Lucas, whose real life inspired this partly biographical film.Boring in the extreme!
- DirectorQuentin TarantinoStarsUma ThurmanDavid CarradineMichael MadsenThe Bride continues her quest of vengeance against her former boss and lover Bill, the reclusive bouncer Budd, and the treacherous, one-eyed Elle.See Vol. 1
- DirectorSean PennStarsJack NicholsonDavid MorseAnjelica HustonFreddy Gale is a seedy jeweller who has sworn to kill the drunk driver who killed his little girl.This utterly, utterly, utterly depressing borefest seems to last for months not hours
- DirectorGore VerbinskiStarsJohnny DeppOrlando BloomKeira KnightleyJack Sparrow races to recover the heart of Davy Jones to avoid enslaving his soul to Jones' service, as other friends and foes seek the heart for their own agenda as well.Should have stopped after the first one!