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Poll: Who really was Keyser Soze?

A poll by TsarStepan.
Who was Keyser Soze?

If Oliver Stone got off his lazy tuchas, I bet if he dug deep he could find an alternative theory to who Keyser Soze really was. So which one of the following rumored unusual suspects would he set his targets on?

Let's speculate on this criminal conspiracy here!

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Make Your Choice

  1. Vote!

    Henry Fonda, Jack Klugman, Lee J. Cobb, Ed Begley, John Fiedler, E.G. Marshall, Joseph Sweeney, and George Voskovec in 12 Angry Men (1957)

    The jury got it wrong - the kid perpetrator from 12 Angry Men (1957) was in fact guilty, but they've found him innocent and then freed him. He would later go on to become a criminal mastermind, Keyser Soze.
  2. Vote!

    Tia Carrere and Pauly Shore in Jury Duty (1995)

    Tommy Collins (Pauly Shore) from Jury Duty (1995). His alibi about being in jury duty at the time during the crimes associated with Keyser Soze? How convenient!
  3. Vote!

    Stephen Baldwin and Pauly Shore in Bio-Dome (1996)

    Keyser Soze was Doyle Johnson (Stephen Baldwin)! Or was it Bud Macintosh (Pauly Shore)?! Both from Bio-Dome (1996). Their collective "being stuck in a Bio-Dome during the crimes associated with the master criminal Keyser Soze" alibi is rock solid but then again Keyser Soze was a criminal genius!
  4. Vote!

    Tom Arnold, David Paymer, Mikey Kovar, Rhea Perlman, and Colleen Rennison in Carpool (1996)

    Franklin Laszlo (Tom Arnold), the family man from Carpool (1996). No one suspects a family man. Look how he handles the police by throwing them off their guard!
  5. Vote!

    Tom Arnold in The Stupids (1996)

    Stanley Stupid (Tom Arnold) from The Stupids (1996). Do I have to spell it out for ya??
  6. Vote!

    John Travolta stars as Terl

    Terl (John Travolta) from Battlefield Earth (2000). It's amazing that someone so ugly and so tall (9 freaking feet tall) could go so long without being noticed as a criminal mastermind!
  7. Vote!

    Gord reflects on his backward corporate look

    Gordon "Gord" Brody (Tom Green) in Freddy Got Fingered (2001). He's a master of disguise as seen here.
  8. Vote!

    Roberto Benigni in Pinocchio (2002)

    Pinocchio (Roberto Benigni) in Pinocchio (2002). If you look carefully, you can read his 'tell' he gives off when he's lying.
  9. Vote!

    Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Justin Bartha in Gigli (2003)

    Brian (Justin Bartha) from Gigli (2003). He blends in nicely as the supposed victim of a kidnapping. Great alibi if you ask me.
  10. Vote!

    #10

    Two disgruntled FBI agents, Kevin Copeland (Shawn Wayans) and Marcus Copeland (Marlon Wayans) from White Chicks (2004), would never be suspected as Keyser Soze. Maybe they should be persons of interest in this unsolved case?
  11. Vote!

    Rob Schneider and Skytriss in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

    Deuce Bigalow (Rob Schneider) from Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005). How does he really make a living?! No one in their right mind would hire him as a gigolo.
  12. Vote!

    Katherine Heigl and Johnny Knoxville in The Ringer (2005)

    Steve Barker (Johnny Knoxville) from The Ringer (2005) Clearly he's faking his disability and all, no?
  13. Vote!

    Eddie Murphy in Norbit (2007)

    Norbit (Eddie Murphy) from ... umm... gosh... I can't remember what movie he was in. I think I had a seizure trying to remember the title to this film. Might be my PTSD.
  14. Vote!

    Mike Myers in The Love Guru (2008)

    Guru Pitka (Michael Myers) from The Love Guru (2008).
  15. Vote!

    The Jonas Brothers, Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, and Nick Jonas in Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009)

    All three of the Jonas Brothers in theory have the collective brain power of three brains to equal one Keyser Soze. Is it a coincidence that all of Keyser Soze's crimes happen at the same time and cities in which they have their concert tours? I doubt it!
  16. Vote!

    Ashton Kutcher in Killers (2010)

    Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) from the Killers (2010).
  17. Vote!

    Adam Sandler in That's My Boy (2012)

    Donny (Adam Sandler) from That's My Boy (2012)
  18. Vote!

    Betty White in Betty White's Off Their Rockers (2012)

    I always knew that Betty White was a criminal mastermind!
  19. Vote!

    Josh Brolin in W. (2008)

    Oliver Stone already made that picture. He called it W. (2008).

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