- Commandant: What do you think this is? A picnic? You're here and you're going to stay. This is the Army of Forgotten Souls. Men come to this God forsaken spot to forget and be forgotten. Men come here to accept the hardships of the desert and the wasteland. To be without food! Without water! And to laugh at it all!
- [laughs]
- Ollie: [singing] I love you, I love you, I love you, You are the ideal of my dreams, I always knew, T'would be someone like you, I've loved you forever it seems, For years in my mind's fondest fancy, A picture of your face I drew, And I knew you somehow, When I met you just now, You are the ideal of my dreams.
- Stan: [talking] What are you getting so mushy about?
- Ollie: Well, I'm glad you asked me. I couldn't keep it from you much longer.
- Stan: What?
- Ollie: Life's biggest moment. I'm going to be married.
- Stan: You don't believe me?
- Ollie: What's your name?
- Ollie: This is Mr. Laurel, Admiral. My name is Hardy, Oliver Norvell Hardy.
- Commandant: Joined up together, eh?
- Stan: Yes, ma'am.
- Ollie: We're buddies.
- Commandant: What on earth ever prompted you two to join the Legion?
- Ollie: Well, you see, Brigadier, it was like this...
- Stan: I came here to help him forget.
- Commandant: Forget? Forget what?
- Stan: What did I forget?
- Commandant: Well, well, well?
- Stan: I forgot.
- Commandant: You forgot what you came here to forget? Well, we'll see that you don't forget what you're here for!
- Commandant: Put them through their preliminary routine. We'll start whipping them into shape tomorrow.
- Commandant: Well, you certainly are a sorry lookin' pair.
- Ollie: We're not sorry.
- Stan: No, sir, we're just discouraged.