- [Thunder accidentally flips a flapjack into the campfire]
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: Tastes better if you catch 'em.
- Thunder Rogers, Texas Ranger: Son, I've made seven million of these flapjacks and that ain't happened to but nine of 'em.
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: What of it?
- Thunder Rogers, Texas Ranger: Bad luck, that's what. Whenever I miss a flapjack it means trouble - and plenty of it!
- Thunder Rogers, Texas Ranger: Well, what are we waitin' for?
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: Aw, keep your shirt on. Be suicide to start a shootin' match now. Besides, we want 'em all. We're takin' 'em back with us.
- Thunder Rogers, Texas Ranger: Yeah, but how?
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: I don't know. I've got to think.
- Thunder Rogers, Texas Ranger: With what?
- [Tonita kisses Jim's wanted poster]
- Tonita: How do you like that, Senor Bad Man? No no, no more. One kiss - nice. Two kiss is dangerous. Three kiss - nooo!
- 'Pegleg' Barnes: See that there limb?
- [holds up his peg leg]
- 'Pegleg' Barnes: That comes from the tree where Sitting Bull used to sit.
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: No!
- 'Pegleg' Barnes: Come by my barber shop and I'll give you everything from a haircut to a bath.
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: Thanks, pardner. I'll take the haircut, but you can give him
- [Thunder]
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: the bath.
- Thunder Rogers, Texas Ranger: Aw, I ain't dirty.
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: I suppose that's sunburn, huh?
- [reviewing the rules before Jim and Dave's fight]
- Shag Smith: Alright, boys, everything goes but quittin'.
- [Jim has been wounded in a gunfight]
- Tonita: Are you shot, Jimmy?
- Jim Houston, Texas Ranger: Only half shot, honey.