Design for Living (1933)

Fredric March: Thomas B. 'Tom' Chambers

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Gilda Farrell : A thing happened to me that usually happens to men. You see, a man can meet two, three or four women and fall in love with all of them, and then, by a process of interesting elimination, he is able to decide which he prefers. But a woman must decide purely on instinct, guesswork, if she wants to be considered nice. Oh, it's quite all right for her to try on a hundred hats before she picks one out, but...

  Tom Chambers : Very fine. But, which chapeau do you want, Madam?

  Gilda Farrell : Both.

• Tom Chambers : It's amazing how a few insults can bring people together in three hours.

  Gilda Farrell : It was certainly good to hear all the names you called me. I haven't heard them since I left father and mother.

• Max Plunkett : I've come here to speak to you man to man.

  Tom Chambers : My favorite type of conversation.

  Max Plunkett : I wish to broach a rather delicate subject.

  Tom Chambers : Oh, now don't let's be delicate, Mr. Plunkett. Let's be crude and objectionable, both of us. One of the greatest handicaps of civilization, and I may say to progress, is the fact that people speak with ribbons on their tongues. Delicacy, as the philosophers point out, is the banana peel under the feet of truth.

• Gilda Farrell : The only thing we can do: let's forget sex.

  George Curtis : Okay.

  Tom Chambers : Agreed.

  George Curtis : It may be a bit difficult in the beginning.

  Tom Chambers : But, it can be worked on.

  Gilda Farrell : Oh, it'll be grand!

  George Curtis : Save lots of time.

  Tom Chambers : And confusion.

• Tom Chambers : That's one way of meeting the situation. Shipping clerk comes home, finds missus with boarder. He breaks dishes. It's pure burlesque. Then there's another way. Intelligent artist returns unexpectedly, finds treacherous friends, both discuss the pros and cons of the situation in grownup dialogue. High-class comedy, enjoyed by everybody.

  George Curtis : There's a third way. I'll kick your teeth out and tear your head off and beat some decency into you!

  Tom Chambers : Cheap melodrama. Very dull.

• Tom Chambers : George betrayed me for you. Without wishing to flatter you, I understood that. I can still understand it. But you betrayed me for George. An incredible choice!

• George Curtis : I haven't got a clean shirt to my name.

  Tom Chambers : Why a clean shirt? What's up? A romance?

  George Curtis : I'm not talking about pajamas. I'm talking about a clean shirt!

• Tom Chambers : May I refer you to a letter, sent to you from London, in a similar crisis?

  George Curtis : You're a very high class...

  Tom Chambers : I could have enclosed some smallpox germs, easily.

  George Curtis : But you didn't. Very considerate. Let's drink to that...

  [proposing a toast] 

  George Curtis : To smallpox germs.

  Tom Chambers : In Latin, variola caca.

• George Curtis : Why didn't you like my picture?

  Gilda Farrell : It's smart aleck. You're wisecracking with paint. It simply creaks with originality. Lady Godiva riding a bicycle!

  Tom Chambers : I know what she means. A bicycle seat is a little hard on Lady Godiva's historical background.

  George Curtis : Shut up! I see, Lady Godiva doesn't belong on a bicycle; but, it's okay to put Napoleon in a Kaplan & Maguire, non-wrinkling, two-fifty, union suit!

  Tom Chambers : Quite right. That's not history. And if may say so,, they do wrinkle.

  Gilda Farrell : I'm a commercial artist. I'm being paid to tell the world that if Napoleon were alive today, he would wear Kaplan & Macquire's two-fifty, non-wrinkling underwear.

  George Curtis : Pure hooey!

  Gilda Farrell : You're wasting your time painting for art galleries. You should get in contact with some bicycle manufacturer. You'd clean up. I'll give you a good slogan: Join Lady Godiva on our tandem.

• Max Plunkett : Mr. Chambers, I don't wish you to misunderstand me. I am not Miss Farrell's husband nor her fiancé in any shape, form or manner.

  Tom Chambers : I see. Her devoted friend?

  Max Plunkett : Yes. For five years.

  Tom Chambers : Her guide, I take it, and counselor.

  Max Plunkett : Yes.

  Tom Chambers : Her protector!

  Max Plunkett : Exactly.

  Tom Chambers : In other words, Mr. Plunkett, you, eh, you never got to first base.

• George Curtis : How old is the laundress?

  Tom Chambers : About 45.

  George Curtis : A young 45?

  Tom Chambers : Oh, I don't know. She goes barefoot. She's rather plump. A little soapy. But, a very interesting mustache! Very charming. Very charming. But, not my type.

  George Curtis : Mustache or no mustache, I need a clean shirt for tomorrow.

• George Curtis : So, you've been making love to Gilda.

  Tom Chambers : Oh, now, listen...

  George Curtis : I know! One hundred percent virtue and three square meals a day!

• Tom Chambers : Curious, to have a little bit of feminine fluff breaking up our friendship.

• George Curtis : Sacrifice helps an artist.

  Tom Chambers : Exactly! Sorrows of life are the joys of art.

• Gilda Farrell : We're going to concentrate on work - your work. My work doesn't count. I think you boys have a great deal of talent; but, too much ego. You spend one day working and a whole month bragging. Gentlemen, there are going to be few changes. I'm going to jump up and down on your ego. I'm going to criticize your work with a baseball bat. I'm going to tell you every day how bad your stuff is until you get something good and if it's good I'm going to tell you it's rotten till you get something better. I'm going to be a mother of the arts. - - No sex.

  George Curtis , Tom Chambers : No.

  Gilda Farrell : It's a gentlemen's agreement.

• George Curtis : [drunkenly]  I think we're being very sensible.

  Tom Chambers : Extremely.

  George Curtis : Good for our livers.

  Tom Chambers : Good for our immortal souls!

  George Curtis : And bad for our stomachs.

  Tom Chambers : That's loose thinking. What's bad for your stomach, maybe highly entertaining for my stomach.

• Gilda Farrell : Are you a painter too?

  Tom Chambers : Oh, no, not me. I'm a playwright. I rewrite unproduced plays and very good at that kind.

• Tom Chambers : Personally, I don't like derbies. They give a man that undertaker look.

• Tom Chambers : Let's behave like civilized people. It's quite apparent, beyond any question, you've behaved in this manner as a rather common, ordinary rat.

• Gilda Farrell : George, dear George, when I let you make love to me yesterday, I didn't tell you something. I didn't tell you that the day before, Tom and I had - Did he tell you?

  George Curtis : No.

  Gilda Farrell : Thank you, Tommy.

  Tom Chambers : Very welcome.

• Tom Chambers : My dearest Gilda and dearest George. This is the first letter I've ever dictated, so kindly overlook its correct spelling and perfect punctuation. An honest heart still beats beneath. Exclamation Point. Dash. Paragraph. Well, pals, you'll be interested to know that all London is agog with my wit and charm. Underline charm. Period. Lady Uptadike, weight 203 ringside, has smuggled me into her cage of trained social lions. Here, I am on exhibition nightly. Up to my neck in duchesses. Period. The play, by the way, is in it's second week of rehearsals, and looks hotsy-totsy.

  Tom's Secretary : I beg your pardon, sir: hotsy-totsy?

  Tom Chambers : Yes, hotsy-totsy.

• Gilda Farrell : What'll we do after lunch?

  Tom Chambers : We'll take a long walk for our digestion.

  Gilda Farrell : Oh, yes! Let's walk and walk until we are dead tired!

  Tom Chambers : Gilda, I've got a better idea. Let's stay home instead.

• George Curtis : You'll get drunk?

  Tom Chambers : It's the only sensible thing to do.

• George Curtis : We must forget Gilda.

  Tom Chambers : Utterly!

  George Curtis : Let's change the subject.

  Tom Chambers : Right! Let's talk about something entirely new.

  George Curtis : Let's talk about our ourselves!

• Max's Butler : Are you expected?

  George Curtis : No. Not exactly expected

  Tom Chambers : Anticipated. Hoped for. And dreamed about.

• Tom Chambers : Keep that old typewriter of mine booted and spurred.

  Gilda Farrell : I will.

  Tom Chambers : So long.

• Tom Chambers : I always remember that our play was written on that old Remington number 2 typewriter and on a never-to-be forgotten diet of frankfurters.

• Tom Chambers : My heart is the highlands of Montmartre...

• Tom Chambers : How's Paris?

  Max Plunkett : Oh, great. Fine. Advertising growing quicker than ever. The French are getting billboard crazy.

• Tom Chambers : George is getting along nicely?

  Max Plunkett : Oh, great. Great. He painted me! A portrait - from here up. That put him over in the Art World.

• Tom Chambers : [returning from London, looking at the Remington Number 2 typewriter]  You didn't keep it oiled.

  Gilda Farrell : I did for awhile.

  Tom Chambers : The keys are rusty. The shift is broken.

  Gilda Farrell : But it still rings! It still rings.

  Tom Chambers : Does it?

• Tom Chambers : Is George still given to smashing things?

  Gilda Farrell : Well, we have to tell him the truth, regardless of what happens to the furniture.

  Tom Chambers : I wonder if he'll hit? He was never very civilized.

  Gilda Farrell : You're right. He is kind of - kind of - barbaric.

  [smiles] 

• Gilda Farrell : [final lines]  Oh, boys, this is very important. There's one thing that has to be understood.

  George Curtis : I know.

  Tom Chambers : Yes, we know. It's a gentleman's agreement!

• Gilda Farrell : Now we'll have some fun! Back to Paris.

  Tom Chambers : To the same old studio?

  Gilda Farrell : The same old dump! And work!

  Tom Chambers : Great! But, you can't paint in that suit.

  George Curtis : I'll burn it.

  Gilda Farrell : And you can't write in the top hat.

  Tom Chambers : In the ash can with it!

  George Curtis : Let's hear Gilda - can you still say rotten?

  Gilda Farrell : Rotten!