Art Trouble (1934)
Shemp Howard: Short Painter
Photos
Quotes
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Short Painter : Do you think we can get away with this artist racket?
Tall Painter : Why, it's a cinch! Why, one time I painted a full length picture of Venus. But, it turned out to be a bust.
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Madame DuBerry : I am Madame DuBerry.
Short Painter : Madame, you're the nuts.
Madame DuBerry : No! Berry.
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Madame DuBerry : And you, Monsieur, what do you paint?
Short Painter : I paint men and women.
Madame DuBerry : In oil? On canvas?
Short Painter : No, I paint men on one door and women on the other.
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Woman in White Hat : The waiter, he say, you two boys are lonesome, huh?
Short Painter : [to Tall Painter] Now I know why the Germans wanted to get to Paris.
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Woman in Black Beret : You are artists, no?
Tall Painter : Are you asking me or telling me?
Short Painter : Oh, we dabble a bit.
Woman in White Hat : Do you etch?
Tall Painter : Don't get personal!
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Woman in White Hat : My sweetheart is what you call the architect.
Short Painter : He's a little absentminded, isn't he?
Woman in White Hat : What made you say that?
Short Painter : He left some of his blueprints on your neck.
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Short Painter : I'd like to come up and see you sometime when you're in the nude - I mean, the mood. How about Saturday?
Woman in White Hat : Oh, no, I cannot. I'm getting married on Saturday. But, Sunday is all right.
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Short Painter : That fella's no gentlemen!
Tall Painter : Well, what makes you think so?
Short Painter : The least thing he could have done, before he started to beat her up, was to take off his hat.
Woman in Black Beret : You don't understand. That is the unbashed way of showing his love for her and she love it.
Short Painter : Oh, that's all I wanted to know.
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Woman in Black Beret : [after knocking down the Short Painter and dragging him off the dance floor] Aw, my caveman, I love you.
Short Painter : So, that's the French way of makin' love.
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Short Painter : My uncle invented an invisible paint and anything you painted with it - became invisible.
Tall Painter : That should have been worth plenty to the government during the war.
Short Painter : He made 30,000 gallons of it. In fact, the government offered him a million dollars for it.
Tall Painter : Well, why didn't he sell?
Short Painter : He wanted to; but, when he went to look for it - he couldn't find it.
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Tall Painter : Oh, boy. I'm glad that's over! This is the first job we've had in six months and I hope its the last!
Short Painter : So do I. I thought it'd never end.