Hands Across the Table (1935)

Fred MacMurray: Theodore Drew III

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Ted suggests temporarily becoming Regi's platonic roommate] 

  Regi Allen : Well, I'm not *that* unconventional.

  Theodore Drew III : Aw, don't be old-fashioned. What are conventions anyway? Just a bunch of salesmen sitting around and telling stories.

• Theodore Drew III : Oh, father's living abroad. He has an amazing ability for borrowing money from practically total strangers. Unfortunately, that ability isn't hereditary.

  Regi Allen : How could the Drews be broke?

  Theodore Drew III : Well, do you remember that thing called the Crash?

  Regi Allen : Yes.

  Theodore Drew III : Well, that was us.

• Regi Allen : Do you dream?

  Theodore Drew III : No.

  Regi Allen : You should - you'd meet a better class of people.

• Theodore Drew III : [bumping into Regi while playing hopscotch]  I'm sorry. I didn't know the lights were against me.

  Regi Allen : It's alright.

  [Regi looks at him puzzled] 

  Theodore Drew III : Hopscotch.

  Regi Allen : Hopscotch?

  Theodore Drew III : Mhmm. Indoor hopscotch. Not up to field and turf hopscotch, but hopscotch never the less.

  [Ted hops more] 

  Theodore Drew III : Get the idea?

  Regi Allen : Yes, I get the idea.

  Theodore Drew III : Want to play?

  Regi Allen : No thanks.

  [Regi walks toward the elevator] 

  Theodore Drew III : Well, every man to his own sport.

  [Ted keeps hopping, then stops and walks back toward the elevator too] 

  Theodore Drew III : You'll be sorry when I am champion!

• Theodore Drew III : Mother says I'm a throwback to my great-grandfather. He was a pirate.

  Regi Allen : Honest?

  Theodore Drew III : No, a pirate.

• Theodore Drew III : You know, you'd be very beautiful with blonde hair.

  Regi Allen : I have blonde hair.

• Theodore Drew III : You're almost as good at this as my mother was.

  Regi Allen : Was there anything else your mother did?

  Theodore Drew III : Mm-hmm... Before she turned out the lights, she always used to kiss me good night.

  Regi Allen : I'm only *almost* as good as your mother was.

• Regi Allen : Go on back to your pineapple queen.

  Theodore Drew III : She's not my pineapple queen. I gave her away. I gave her back to the Hawaiians.

  Regi Allen : What's the matter? Did you find somebody with more pineapples?

• Theodore Drew III : [Regi has just given him a manicure and drawn blood on a few of his fingers that are bandaged]  Are you doing anything tonight? Would you mind feeding me? I'm... I'm afraid I'm going to have to have a nurse.

• Regi Allen : It was lovely of you, but taking taxis when you haven't any money is a little foolish, isn't it?

  Theodore Drew III : Foolish? Why, I had to take a taxi. I couldn't go out in this pouring rain and get my only suit all wet, could I?

  Regi Allen : Where's your overcoat?

  Theodore Drew III : Ohhh, spending a little time in the pawnshop...

  Regi Allen : Well, why did you pawn your overcoat?

  Theodore Drew III : Why, to pay for the taxi, of course. Dope!

• Regi Allen : We're exactly alike.

  Theodore Drew III : No, ha ha, oh no, your hair is much prettier than...

  Regi Allen : We are! We're both trying to do the same thing: marry for money.

  Theodore Drew III : Is that what you want to do?

  Regi Allen : Mm-hmm.

  Theodore Drew III : Oh, no, you're too nice for that.

  Regi Allen : Well, I don't want to spend the rest of my life working in a barber shop.

  Theodore Drew III : Well, but to go out in cold blood and deliberately marry somebody for money, that's no good.

  Regi Allen : Well, what are you doing?

  Theodore Drew III : Well... Well, it's different for me: I'm a heel!

  Regi Allen : Well, did I ever say I wasn't one?

• Regi Allen : You must have a lot of friends that could give you a job.

  Theodore Drew III : That'd be a fine friend who'd give you a job. No friend of mine had better try anything like that on me.

• Theodore Drew III : Stabbed in the cuticle; what a way to die.

• Regi Allen : I'm gunna tell my mother on you!

  Theodore Drew III : Go on; I'll tell my father on you!

• Regi Allen : If when you get back, you care to call me up, I could give you my number. I mean I, I mean I could write it down for you, in case you've forgotten it.

  Theodore Drew III : [drunkenly]  Yes, do that. I would love to call you. You see, I get back on the eleventh. I can see you the twelfth. Oh, no, no, no. I'm getting married the twelfth. I can see you the next day, though. Aw, I suppose she'd want a honeymoon. They all want honeymoons. Slaves of fashion, that's what we are. The whole business is a vicious, a vicious, a vicious...

• Theodore Drew III : Holy smoke! I'm in Bermuda.

  Regi Allen : Good. I'm in Greenland.

• Theodore Drew III : I can't sleep on a narrow bed.

  Regi Allen : Oh, you can't?

  Theodore Drew III : When I was home I always used to sleep on a great, big double bed.

  Regi Allen : Well, what would you suggest?

  Theodore Drew III : Well, I could suggest something; but, well, you won't get mad now, will ya?

  Regi Allen : Well, what is it?

  Theodore Drew III : Well, would you tuck me in?

• Theodore Drew III : You're almost as good at this as my mother was.

  Regi Allen : Was there anything else, your mother did?

  Theodore Drew III : Before she turned out the lights, she always used to kiss me good night.

  Regi Allen : I'm only almost as good as your mother was.

• Allen Macklyn : She thinks you want to be a gigolo.

  Theodore Drew III : A gigolo! Is that what she thinks of me? Fine opinion she's got of me.

• Theodore Drew III : Women are nuts.

• Theodore Drew III : [on the phone]  Helro, please.

  Regi Allen : Hello? Isn't this University - 4 - 2 - 2 - 5 - 9?

  Theodore Drew III : A yes, but, eh, Missa Regi, eh, not being at home, please. Coming again, please? Oh, this is Missa Regi's Japanese boy.

  Regi Allen : Well, isn't that just dandy. And when did Miss Allen get a Japanese boy?

  Theodore Drew III : Eh, she, eh, winning him last evening in a very fine crap game.