Disorder in the Court (1936)
Edward LeSaint: Judge
Quotes
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Court clerk : [as Curly come up to him] Take off your hat.
[Curly does with his right hand]
Court clerk : Now, raise your right hand.
[Curly put his hat back on and does]
Court clerk : [points to the Bible] Now put your left hand here.
[Curly goes to do so but can't because his cane is in that hand, so he switches it to his right hand then does so]
Judge : [to Curley] Take off your hat.
[Curly does again with his right hand]
Court clerk : Raise your right hand.
[Curly put his hat back on again and does so]
Court clerk : [Points to the Bible again] Now put your left hand here.
[Again, Curly switches hands with his cane to do so]
Judge : Please take off your hat.
[Curly does again with his right hand and the same charade happens]
Court clerk : [Getting increasingly impatient] Raise your right hand! Now put your left hand here.
Judge : [Getting annoyed] Will you please take off your hat!
[Again, the same charade happens]
Court clerk : [Through clenched teeth] Raise your right hand!
[Curly shows annoyance as well as he does so this time]
Court clerk : Now put your left hand here!
Judge : [Yells] Take off your hat!
[Curly does so this time with his left hand and sticks it on top of his cane]
Court clerk : Raise your right hand!
[Curly does holding the cane and hat, the clerk grabs the hat and shoves it back at Curly]
Court clerk : Will you get rid of that hat?
Curly : [Hangs his cane on the pocket of the clerk, then puts his hat on the clerk] Raise *your* right hand.
Court clerk : [He does, then realizes what he's doing, takes off the hat and places it under the Bible, then to Curly] Raise your right hand.
[Curly finally does]
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Judge : Take the stand.
Curly : [picks the chair up] Where'll I put it?
Judge : No, no, take the stand!
Curly : I got it! Now what'll I do with it?
Court clerk : [angrily sets it back down] SIDDOWN!
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Judge : Why don't you answer him?
Curly : He's tawkin' pig Latin! I dunno what he's sayin'!
Judge : He's asking you if you swear...!
Curly : [cuts the judge off] No, but I know all the woids!
Judge : He's asking you if you'll swear to tell the truth.
Curly : Truth is stranger than fiction, Judgie-Wudgle.
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Court clerk : [speaking to Curly rapidly] Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Curly : [confused] Huh?
Court clerk : [rapidly] Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Curly : Are you trying to give me the double talk?
Court clerk : [rapidly] Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Judge : [exasperated] Why don't you answer him?
Curly : He's talking Pig Latin. I don't know what he's saying.
Judge : He's asking if you swear...
Curly : No, but I know all the words!
Judge : He's asking if you'll swear to tell the truth!
Curly : Truth is stranger than fiction, judgie wudgie.
[titters]
Judge : [impatiently] Kindly address this court as "your honor" and take the oath!
Judge : [rapidly] Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Curly : Certainly. What have I got to lose?