The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Bert Lahr: 'Zeke', The Cowardly Lion
Photos
Quotes
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The Scarecrow : I've got a plan to get in there.
The Cowardly Lion : Great, he's got a plan.
The Scarecrow : And you're going to lead us.
The Cowardly Lion : Yeah!... me?
The Scarecrow : Yes, you.
The Cowardly Lion : I... I... I gotta get her out of *there*?
The Tin Man : That's right.
The Cowardly Lion : [determined] All right. I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you fellas to do.
The Scarecrow , The Tin Man : What's that?
The Cowardly Lion : Talk me out of it.
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Dorothy : Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?
The Cowardly Lion : Not nobody! Not nohow!
The Tin Man : Not even a rhinoceros?
The Cowardly Lion : Imposerous!
Dorothy : How about a hippopotamus?
The Cowardly Lion : Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomus!
Dorothy : Supposing you met an elephant?
The Cowardly Lion : I'd wrap him up in cellophant!
The Scarecrow : What if it were a brontosaurus?
The Cowardly Lion : I'd show him who was king of the forest!
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The Cowardly Lion : Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?
Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Tin Man : Courage!
The Cowardly Lion : You can say that again!... Huh?
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The Scarecrow : Help! Help! Help!
[Flying Monkeys leave; Tin Man and Lion find him]
The Tin Man : Well, what happened to you?
The Scarecrow : First they tore my legs off and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there...!
The Tin Man : Oh, that's you all over!
The Cowardly Lion : Sure knocked the stuffin' outta ya, didn't they?
The Scarecrow : Don't stand there talking! Put me together! We've got to find Dorothy!
[Tin Man and Lion start gathering up his straw]
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Dorothy : My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are, why, you're nothing but a great big coward!
The Cowardly Lion : [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.
[sobs]
The Cowardly Lion : Look at the circles under my eyes, I haven't slept in weeks!
The Tin Man : Why don't you try counting sheep?
The Cowardly Lion : That doesn't do any good, I'm *afraid* of 'em!
The Scarecrow : Aw, that's too bad.
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The Cowardly Lion : I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I do!
The Wicked Witch of the West : Ah! You'll believe in more than that before I'm finished with you.
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Dorothy : Goodbye, Tin Man. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here. Here's your oil can.
[kisses him]
Dorothy : Goodbye.
The Tin Man : Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking...
Dorothy : Goodbye, Lion. You know, I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to holler for help before you found your courage.
The Cowardly Lion : [tearfully] I never would've found it, if it hadn't been for you...
Dorothy : [to Scarecrow] I think I'll miss you most of all.
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The Cowardly Lion : Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first? I'll fight you both together if you want. I'll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight you standing on one foot. I'll fight you with my eyes closed... ohh, pullin' an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I'll... Ruff!
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The Cowardly Lion : [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard...
The Tin Man : [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard...
The Scarecrow : [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard...
Dorothy : [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.
The Scarecrow : [singing] Then I'm sure to get a brain...
The Tin Man : [singing] A heart...
Dorothy : [singing] A home...
The Cowardly Lion : [singing] The nerve!
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The Tin Man : Where do we go now?
The Cowardly Lion : Yeah...
[Toto barks]
The Scarecrow : There!
[they follow Toto up the stairs, he scratches at the door to the room with Dorothy]
The Scarecrow : Wait, we better make sure. Dorothy, are you in there? It's us!
Dorothy : [running to the door] Yes! It's me! She locked me in!
The Cowardly Lion : Come on! We gotta get her out! Open the door!
Dorothy : Oh hurry, please, hurry! The hourglass is almost empty!
The Tin Man : Stand back!
[he takes his axe to the door; it swings open just as the last sand trickles away]
Dorothy : Oh! Oh Toto! Oh I knew you'd come! Oh Lion! Tin Man! You found my doggie!
The Scarecrow : Hurry! We've got no time to lose!
[they race down the stairs; the doors bang shut on them]
The Wicked Witch of the West : [cackling] Leaving so soon? I wouldn't hear of it! Why, my little party's just beginning!
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Dorothy : [as the Wizard's balloon goes off without her] Oh! Come back! Come back! Don't go without me! Please come back!
The Wizard of Oz : I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Good-bye, folks!
[the people shout and wave goodbye]
Dorothy : Oh no, I'll never get home...
[she begins to cry]
The Cowardly Lion : [emotionally] Stay with us then, Dorothy. We all love ya. We don't... want you to go.
Dorothy : Oh, that's very kind of you. But this could never be like Kansas. Auntie Em must have stopped wondering what happened to me by now! Oh, Scarecrow, what am I gonna do?
The Scarecrow : [pointing] Look! Here's someone who can help you!
[Glinda's pink bubble descends]
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The Gatekeeper : Who rang that bell?
Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : [all four together] We did!
The Gatekeeper : Can't you read?
The Scarecrow : Read what?
The Gatekeeper : The notice!
Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : What notice?
The Gatekeeper : It's on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It... oh...
[does a tsking, expression, goes inside door for a moment. He hangs the notice and goes back inside]
Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : [Reading notice, all together] Bell out of order, please knock.
[Dorothy knocks the door and he opens the window]
The Gatekeeper : Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!
Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : [all together] We want to see the Wizard!
The Gatekeeper : [gasps] The Wizard? But, nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even, I've never seen him!
Dorothy : Well, then how do you know there is one?
The Gatekeeper : Because, he... I... Oh, you're wasting my time.
[starts to close the window]
Dorothy : Oh, please. Please, sir. I've got to see the Wizard. The Good Witch of the North sent me.
The Gatekeeper : Prove it.
The Scarecrow : She's wearing the ruby slippers, she gave her.
The Gatekeeper : Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!
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The Cowardly Lion : [singing] If I were king of the fore-e-e-est / Not queen, not duke, not prince / My regal robes of the fore-e-e-est / Would be satin, not cotton, not chintz / I'd command each thing, whether fish or fowl / With a r-r-ruff and a r-r-ruff, and a royal growl - R-R-Ruff! / As I click my heels / All the trees would kneel / And the mountains bow / And the bulls kowtow / And the sparrow would take wing / If I, if I were ki-i-i-i-ng! / The rabbits would show respect to me / The chipmunks genuflect to me / Though my tail would lash / I would show compash / For every underling / If I, if I were king / Just ki-i-i-i-ing!
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The Wizard of Oz : Can I believe my eyes? Why have you come back?
Dorothy : Please, sir, we've done what you told us. We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her!
The Wizard of Oz : Ah, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful.
Dorothy : Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir.
The Wizard of Oz : Not so fast, not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow.
Dorothy : Tomorrow? Oh, but I want to go home now!
The Tin Man : You've had plenty of time already!
The Cowardly Lion : [snarls] Yeahhh...
The Wizard of Oz : Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful Oz! I said, come back tomorrow!
[Toto runs off behind a curtain]
Dorothy : If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!
The Wizard of Oz : Do you presume to criticize the Great Oz? You ungrateful creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I'm giving you audience tomorrow instead of twenty years from now!
[Toto pulls the curtain aside, revealing the real Wizard of Oz as a short, middle-aged man with blond hair]
The Wizard of Oz : Oh...!
[turns and speaks into the megaphone]
The Wizard of Oz : The Great Oz has spoken! Oh!
[he pulls the curtain again]
The Wizard of Oz : Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The greatest... Oz... has... spoken!
Dorothy : [Yanking back the curtain] Who are you?
The Wizard of Oz : Who, ah, ah... I am the Great and Powerful...! Wizard, of Oz...
Dorothy : YOU are? I don't believe you!
The Wizard of Oz : Well, I'm afraid it's true, there's no other Wizard except me...
The Scarecrow : [angrily] You HUMBUG!
The Cowardly Lion : Yeah!
The Wizard of Oz : [ashamed] Yes, yes, exactly so, I'm a humbug.
Dorothy : Oh... You're a very bad man!
The Wizard of Oz : Oh, no, my dear! I, I'm a very good man! I'm... just a very bad wizard.
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'Zeke' : [to pigs] Get in there, before I make a dime bank out of you.
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The Cowardly Lion : I'll get you anyway, Peewee.
[Chases Toto]
Dorothy : [smacking him on the nose] Shame on you!
The Cowardly Lion : [sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him!
Dorothy : No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but when you go around picking on poor little dogs!
The Cowardly Lion : Well, you didn't have hit me, didja?
[sobs]
The Cowardly Lion : Is my nose bleeding?
Dorothy : Well, of course not.
[he continues to sob]
Dorothy : My goodness, what a fuss you're making!
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The Cowardly Lion : Read what my medal says: "Courage". Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth?
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Dorothy : Oh, oh, what's happening, what is it? I can't run anymore. Oh, I'm so sleepy...
The Scarecrow : Here, give us your hands and we'll pull you along!
Dorothy : Oh no no, please, I have to rest for just a minute. Toto, where's Toto?
[she falls down, asleep]
The Scarecrow : Oh you can't rest now, we're nearly there!
[Tin Man starts crying]
The Scarecrow : Don't cry! You'll rust yourself again!
The Cowardly Lion : Come to think of it, forty winks wouldn't be bad...
[he sags]
The Scarecrow : [trying to hold him up] Don't you start too!
The Tin Man : [grabbing him] No! We'd better try and carry Dorothy!
The Scarecrow : I don't think I could... but we could try!
The Tin Man : Let's!
The Scarecrow : Yes!
[the lion collapses]
The Tin Man : Oh, now look at him! This is terrible!
The Scarecrow : Here, Tin Man, help me!
[they tug at Dorothy]
The Scarecrow : Oh, this is terrible! Can't budge her an inch! This is a spell, this is!
The Tin Man : It's the Wicked Witch! What'll we do? Help! HELP!
The Scarecrow : It's no use screaming at a time like this! Nobody will hear you!... Help, HEEEEELLLLP!
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'Zeke' : It's a twister! It's a twister!
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The Scarecrow : What about the heart that you promised Tin Man? Or the courage you promised Lion?
The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : And Scarecrow's brain?
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The Cowardly Lion : I- I- I hope my strength holds out.
The Tin Man : [hanging by Lion's tail] I hope your tail holds out!
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[the Cowardly Lion has just received a Courage Medal from the Wizard of Oz]
The Cowardly Lion : Shucks, folks, I'm speechless. Ha Ha!
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The Tin Man : Here, here. Go away and let us alone.
The Cowardly Lion : Oh, scared, huh? Afraid, huh? Ah, how long can you stay fresh in that can? Ha ha ha ha.
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The Cowardly Lion : [singing] I'm afraid there's no denyin', I'm just a dandy lion, a fate I don't deserve! But I could show my prowess, be a lion, not a mo-use, if I only had the nerve!
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The Cowardly Lion : Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junkyard!
[goes over to the Scarecrow]
The Cowardly Lion : And put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay!
The Scarecrow : Now that's getting personal, Lion.
The Tin Man : Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson.
The Scarecrow : Well, what's wrong with you teaching him?
The Tin Man : Well, I hardly know him.
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The Cowardly Lion : [getting a panic attack walking into the Wizard's foyer] Wait a minute, fellas. I was just thinking. I really don't want to see the Wizard this much. I'd better wait for you outside.
The Scarecrow : What's the matter?
The Tin Man : Oh, he's just s-scared again.
Dorothy : Don't you know the Wizard's going to give you some courage?
The Cowardly Lion : I'd be too scared to ask him for it.
[sobs]
Dorothy : Well then, we'll ask him for you.
The Cowardly Lion : I'd sooner wait outside.
Dorothy : Why? Why?
The Cowardly Lion : Because I'm still *scared*.
[sobs]
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The Cowardly Lion : [to Toto who is barking at him] I'll get you anyway Pee Wee!
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Dorothy : You ought to be ashamed of yourself, frightening him like that when he came for you to help!
The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice] Silence, whippersnapper! The beneficent Oz has every intention of granting your requests!
The Cowardly Lion : What's that? What'd he say?
Dorothy : Oh, come on.
[pulls the Lion up]
The Cowardly Lion : Huh, what'd he say?
The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice] But first, you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very small task. Bring me the broomstick of the Witch of the West.
The Tin Man : But if we do that, We'll have to kill her to get it.
The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice] Bring me her broomstick, and I'll grant your requests. Now, go!
The Cowardly Lion : But... but, what if she kills us first?
The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice] I said GO!
[the Cowardly Lion jumps with fright and running of the Wizard's throne room, jumps out of the window]
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The Scarecrow : Don't you think the Wizard could help him, too?
Dorothy : I don't see why not. Why don't you come along with us? We're on our way to see the Wizard now. To get him a heart.
The Tin Man : And him a brain.
Dorothy : I'm sure he could give you some courage.
The Cowardly Lion : Well, wouldn't you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion? I would.
[bawling]
Dorothy : No, of course not.
The Cowardly Lion : Gee, that's... that's awfully nice of you. My life has been simply unbearable.
Dorothy : Oh, Well, it's all right now. The Wizard'll fix everything.
[wipes his tears away]
The Cowardly Lion : It's... It's been in me so long. I just... gotta tell you how I feel.
Dorothy : [grabs Toto] Well, come on!
The Cowardly Lion : [singing] Yeh, it's sad, believe me, Missy. When you're born to be a sissy. Without the vim and verve. But I could show my prowess, Be a lion not a mou-ess If I only had the nerve. I'm afraid there's no denyin'. I'm just a dande-lion, A fate I don't deserve.
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The Cowardly Lion : [noticing the snow that fallen on the poppy field] Unusual weather we're having, ain't it?
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Auntie Em : Wake up honey. Dorothy, Dorothy dear, it's Aunt Em darling.
Dorothy : Oh, Auntie Em. It's you.
Professor Marvel : Hello there, anyone home. I just dropped by because I heard the little girl got caught in the big
[realizing Dorothy is fine]
Professor Marvel : well she seems alright now.
Uncle Henry : Yeah, she got quite a bump on the head we kind of thought there for a minute she was going to leave us.
Dorothy : But I did leave you, Uncle Henry that's just the trouble and I tried to get back for days and days.
Auntie Em : Their, their lay quiet now, you just had a bad dream.
'Hunk' : You remember me? Your old pal Hunk
'Hickory' : Or me, Hickory.
'Zeke' : You couldn't forget my face could you?
Dorothy : But it wasn't a dream, it was a place and you, and you and you and you were there.
Professor Marvel : Oh.
Dorothy : But you couldn't have been could you.
Auntie Em : But we dream lots of silly things when we.
Dorothy : No Aunt Em, this is a real truly live place. And I remember some of it wasn't very nice but most of it was beautiful but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was I want to go home and they sent me home.
[everyone is skeptical]
Dorothy : doesn't anybody believe me?
Uncle Henry : Of course we believe you Dorothy.
Dorothy : But anyway Toto, we're home. Home. And this is my room and you're all here and I'm not gonna leave here ever ever again because I love you all. Oh Auntie Em, there's no place like home.
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'Zeke' : How's she coming?
'Hunk' : Take it easy. Ow! You got my finger!
'Zeke' : Well, why don't you get your finger out of the way?
[Zeke and Hickory drops the buckboard back in place]
'Zeke' : There you go.
'Hunk' : Right on my finger!
'Zeke' : It's a lucky thing it wasn't your head.
Dorothy : Zeke, what am I gonna do about Miss Gulch? Just because Toto chases her old cat...
'Zeke' : Listen, honey, I got them hogs to get in.
'Hunk' : Now look it, Dorothy, you ain't using your head about Miss Gulch. Think you didn't have any brains at all.
Dorothy : I have so got brains.
'Hunk' : Well, why don't you use them? When you come home, don't go by Miss Gulch's place. Then Toto won't get in her garden and you won't get in no trouble, see?
Dorothy : Oh, Hunk, you just won't listen, that's all.
'Hunk' : Well, your head ain't made out of straw, you know.
