The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Frank Morgan: Professor Marvel, The Gatekeeper, The Carriage Driver, The Guard, The Wizard of Oz

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Wizard of Oz : As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

  The Tin Man : But, I... I still want one.

• The Wizard of Oz : And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much *you* love; but by how much you are loved by others.

• The Wizard of Oz : Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

• The Wizard of Oz : Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma.

• The Wizard of Oz : Back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phila... er, phila... er, yes, er, Good Deed Doers.

• The Wizard of Oz : [to the Lion]  As for you, my fine friend, you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom.

• The Scarecrow : The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh joy! Rapture! I got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?

  The Wizard of Oz : Well, you can't.

• The Wizard of Oz : As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

• The Wizard of Oz : They have one thing you haven't got: a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.

  The Scarecrow : ThD?

  The Wizard of Oz : That's... Doctor of Thinkology.

• The Gatekeeper : Orders are nobody can see the Great Oz! Not nobody, not nohow!

• Dorothy : [as the Wizard's balloon goes off without her]  Oh! Come back! Come back! Don't go without me! Please come back!

  The Wizard of Oz : I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Good-bye, folks!

  [the people shout and wave goodbye] 

  Dorothy : Oh no, I'll never get home...

  [she begins to cry] 

  The Cowardly Lion : [emotionally]  Stay with us then, Dorothy. We all love ya. We don't... want you to go.

  Dorothy : Oh, that's very kind of you. But this could never be like Kansas. Auntie Em must have stopped wondering what happened to me by now! Oh, Scarecrow, what am I gonna do?

  The Scarecrow : [pointing]  Look! Here's someone who can help you!

  [Glinda's pink bubble descends] 

• The Gatekeeper : Who rang that bell?

  Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : [all four together]  We did!

  The Gatekeeper : Can't you read?

  The Scarecrow : Read what?

  The Gatekeeper : The notice!

  Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : What notice?

  The Gatekeeper : It's on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It... oh...

  [does a tsking, expression, goes inside door for a moment. He hangs the notice and goes back inside] 

  Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : [Reading notice, all together]  Bell out of order, please knock.

  [Dorothy knocks the door and he opens the window] 

  The Gatekeeper : Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!

  Dorothy , The Scarecrow , The Cowardly Lion , The Tin Man : [all together]  We want to see the Wizard!

  The Gatekeeper : [gasps]  The Wizard? But, nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even, I've never seen him!

  Dorothy : Well, then how do you know there is one?

  The Gatekeeper : Because, he... I... Oh, you're wasting my time.

  [starts to close the window] 

  Dorothy : Oh, please. Please, sir. I've got to see the Wizard. The Good Witch of the North sent me.

  The Gatekeeper : Prove it.

  The Scarecrow : She's wearing the ruby slippers, she gave her.

  The Gatekeeper : Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!

• The Wizard of Oz : [in a booming voice]  Step forward, Tin Man!

  The Tin Man : [terrified, steps forward]  Ohhhh!

  The Wizard of Oz : [still in a booming voice]  You DARE to come to me for a heart, do you? You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caligenous junk!

  The Tin Man : Yes, sir. Yes, your honor. You see... a while back, we were walking down the yellow brick road. And...

  The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  Quiet!

• The Wizard of Oz : Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! The greatest Oz has spoken!

• Dorothy : Weren't you frightened?

  The Wizard of Oz : Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified.

• Professor Marvel : Better get under cover, Sylvester, there's a storm blowin' up, a whopper!... To speak in the vernacular of the peasantry. Poor little kid, I hope she gets home all right.

• The Wizard of Oz : To confer, converse, and otherwise hob-nob with my brother wizards.

• The Wizard of Oz : Can I believe my eyes? Why have you come back?

  Dorothy : Please, sir, we've done what you told us. We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her!

  The Wizard of Oz : Ah, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful.

  Dorothy : Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir.

  The Wizard of Oz : Not so fast, not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow.

  Dorothy : Tomorrow? Oh, but I want to go home now!

  The Tin Man : You've had plenty of time already!

  The Cowardly Lion : [snarls]  Yeahhh...

  The Wizard of Oz : Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful Oz! I said, come back tomorrow!

  [Toto runs off behind a curtain] 

  Dorothy : If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!

  The Wizard of Oz : Do you presume to criticize the Great Oz? You ungrateful creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I'm giving you audience tomorrow instead of twenty years from now!

  [Toto pulls the curtain aside, revealing the real Wizard of Oz as a short, middle-aged man with blond hair] 

  The Wizard of Oz : Oh...!

  [turns and speaks into the megaphone] 

  The Wizard of Oz : The Great Oz has spoken! Oh!

  [he pulls the curtain again] 

  The Wizard of Oz : Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The greatest... Oz... has... spoken!

  Dorothy : [Yanking back the curtain]  Who are you?

  The Wizard of Oz : Who, ah, ah... I am the Great and Powerful...! Wizard, of Oz...

  Dorothy : YOU are? I don't believe you!

  The Wizard of Oz : Well, I'm afraid it's true, there's no other Wizard except me...

  The Scarecrow : [angrily]  You HUMBUG!

  The Cowardly Lion : Yeah!

  The Wizard of Oz : [ashamed]  Yes, yes, exactly so, I'm a humbug.

  Dorothy : Oh... You're a very bad man!

  The Wizard of Oz : Oh, no, my dear! I, I'm a very good man! I'm... just a very bad wizard.

• Dorothy : Oh please, Professor, why can't we go with you and see all the Crowned Heads of Europe?

  Professor Marvel : Do you know any? Oh, you mean the... thing. Yes.

• Dorothy : Oh, Thank you so much! We've been gone such a long time and we feel so messy...

  [she sees the horse is a brilliant purple] 

  Dorothy : What kind of a horse is that? I've never seen a horse like that before!

  The Carriage Driver : And never will again, I fancy. There's only one of him and he's it. He's the Horse of a Different Color you've heard tell about!

• Dorothy : [in the Wizard's Throne Room with the three others, having returned from the Witch's castle]  Please, sir. We've done what you told us. We brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her!

  The Wizard of Oz : Oh, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful!

• The Wizard of Oz : Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Oz! I said come back tomorrow!

• The Wizard of Oz : [speaking in a booming voice into microphone]  I am the great and powerful...

  [then, realizing that it is useless to continue his masquerade, moves away from microphone, speaks in a normal voice] 

  The Wizard of Oz : ... Wizard of Oz.

• The Wizard of Oz : Do you presume to criticize the Great Oz? You ungrateful creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I'm giving you an audience tomorrow, instead of twenty years from now!

• The Wizard of Oz : You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe. I was petrified.

• The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  And you, Scarecrow, have the affrontery to ask for a brain, you billowing bale of bovine fodder!

  The Scarecrow : Y-Yes... Yes, Your Honor... I mean, Your Excellency... I-I mean, Your Wizardry.

  The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  Enough!

• Dorothy : You ought to be ashamed of yourself, frightening him like that when he came for you to help!

  The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  Silence, whippersnapper! The beneficent Oz has every intention of granting your requests!

  The Cowardly Lion : What's that? What'd he say?

  Dorothy : Oh, come on.

  [pulls the Lion up] 

  The Cowardly Lion : Huh, what'd he say?

  The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  But first, you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very small task. Bring me the broomstick of the Witch of the West.

  The Tin Man : But if we do that, We'll have to kill her to get it.

  The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  Bring me her broomstick, and I'll grant your requests. Now, go!

  The Cowardly Lion : But... but, what if she kills us first?

  The Wizard of Oz : [booming voice]  I said GO!

  [the Cowardly Lion jumps with fright and running of the Wizard's throne room, jumps out of the window] 

• Professor Marvel : As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to HAVE one! Hearts will NEVER be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

• Professor Marvel : Professor Marvel never guesses, he knows!

• The Scarecrow : How can I ever thank you enough?

  The Wizard of Oz : Well, you can't!

• Auntie Em : Wake up honey. Dorothy, Dorothy dear, it's Aunt Em darling.

  Dorothy : Oh, Auntie Em. It's you.

  Professor Marvel : Hello there, anyone home. I just dropped by because I heard the little girl got caught in the big

  [realizing Dorothy is fine] 

  Professor Marvel : well she seems alright now.

  Uncle Henry : Yeah, she got quite a bump on the head we kind of thought there for a minute she was going to leave us.

  Dorothy : But I did leave you, Uncle Henry that's just the trouble and I tried to get back for days and days.

  Auntie Em : Their, their lay quiet now, you just had a bad dream.

  'Hunk' : You remember me? Your old pal Hunk

  'Hickory' : Or me, Hickory.

  'Zeke' : You couldn't forget my face could you?

  Dorothy : But it wasn't a dream, it was a place and you, and you and you and you were there.

  Professor Marvel : Oh.

  Dorothy : But you couldn't have been could you.

  Auntie Em : But we dream lots of silly things when we.

  Dorothy : No Aunt Em, this is a real truly live place. And I remember some of it wasn't very nice but most of it was beautiful but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was I want to go home and they sent me home.

  [everyone is skeptical] 

  Dorothy : doesn't anybody believe me?

  Uncle Henry : Of course we believe you Dorothy.

  Dorothy : But anyway Toto, we're home. Home. And this is my room and you're all here and I'm not gonna leave here ever ever again because I love you all. Oh Auntie Em, there's no place like home.