- Walter Burns: You've got an old fashioned idea divorce is something that lasts forever, 'til death do us part.' Why divorce doesn't mean anything nowadays, Hildy, just a few words mumbled over you by a judge.
- Hildy Johnson: I suppose I proposed to you?
- Walter Burns: Well, you practically did, making goo-goo eyes at me for two years until I broke down.
- [impersonates Hildy, flutters his eyelashes]
- Walter Burns: "Oh, Walter." And I still claim I was tight the night I proposed to you. If you had been a gentleman, you would have forgotten all about it. But not you!
- Hildy Johnson: [hurls her purse at him] Why, you! !...
- Walter Burns: [ducks and her purse barely misses him] You're losing your eye. You used to be able to pitch better than that.
- Sheriff Hartwell: Aiding an escaped criminal and a little charge of kidnapping.
- Fred, the Mayor: Well, looks like about ten years a piece for you two birds.
- Walter Burns: Does it?
- [unimpressed]
- Hildy Johnson: If you think you've got The Morning Post licked it's time for you to get out of town.
- Fred, the Mayor: Whistling in the dark. Well that isn't going to help you this time. You're through.
- Walter Burns: Listen the last man that said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat.
- Louis: What's the matter, Hildy?
- Hildy Johnson: Don't give me that innocent stuff! What did you pull on Mr. Baldwin THIS time?
- Louis: Who, me?
- Hildy Johnson: Yes, you and that albino of yours!
- Louis: You talkin' about Evangeline?
- Hildy Johnson: None other!
- Louis: She ain't no albino.
- Hildy Johnson: She'll do till one comes along!
- Louis: She was born right here in this country!
- Hildy Johnson: [speaking to Walter on the phone] Now, get this, you double-crossing chimpanzee: There ain't gonna be an interview, and there ain't gonna be a story. And that certified check of yours is leaving here with me in twenty minutes. I wouldn't cover the burning of Rome for you if they were just lighting it up. If I ever lay my two eyes on you again, I'm gonna walk right up to you and hammer on that monkey skull of yours 'til it rings like a Chinese gong!
- Wilson, reporter: Any dope on how he escaped?
- McCue, reporter: Maybe the sheriff let him out so Williams could vote for him.
- Hildy Johnson: A big fat lummox like you hiring an airplane to write: "Hildy, don't be hasty. Remember my dimple. Walter." Delayed our divorce 20 minutes while the judge went out and watched it.
- Hildy Johnson: [Hildy's on the phone telling Walter how Earl Williams escsaped] Of course he had to have a gun to re-enact the crime with. And who do you think supplied it? Peter B. Hartwell. B For brains.
- Walter Burns: [On the phone with Duffy; Walter and Hildy are getting remarried and going to Niagara Falls on their honeymoon] What? A strike? What strike? Where? Albany? Well, I know it's on the way, Duffy, but I can't ask Hildy to...
- Hildy Johnson: All right, we'll honeymoon in Albany.
- Walter Burns: Okay, Duffy.
- [to Hildy]
- Walter Burns: Well, isn't that a coincidence, we're going to Albany! I wonder if Bruce can put us up.
- Walter Burns: Hey, Duffy, listen. Is there any way we can stop the 4:00 train to Albany from leaving town?
- Duffy - Copy Editor: We might dynamite it.
- Walter Burns: Could we?
- Walter Burns: There's been a lamp burning in the window for ya, honey... here.
- Hildy Johnson: Oh, I jumped out that window a long time ago.
- Walter Burns: Look, Hildy, I only acted like any husband that didn't want to see his home broken up.
- Hildy Johnson: What home?
- Walter Burns: "What home"? Don't you remember the home I promised you?
- Hildy Johnson: Walter!
- Walter Burns: What?
- Hildy Johnson: The mayor's first wife, what was her name?
- Walter Burns: You mean the one with the wart on her?
- Hildy Johnson: Right.
- Walter Burns: Fanny!
- Hildy Johnson: [speaking of her fiance] He forgets the office when he's with me. He doesn't treat me like an errand boy, either, Walter. He treats me like a woman.
- Walter Burns: Oh he does, does he? Mm-hmm... how did I treat you? Like a water buffalo?
- Walter Burns: Sorta wish you hadn't done that, Hildy.
- Hildy Johnson: Done what?
- Walter Burns: Divorced me. Makes a fella lose all faith in himself. Gives him a... almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.
- Hildy Johnson: Oh, now look, junior... that's what divorces are FOR!
- Walter Burns: What were you when you came here five years ago - a little college girl from a school of journalism. I took a doll-faced hick...
- Hildy Johnson: Well, you wouldn't take me if I hadn't been doll-faced.
- Walter Burns: Well, why should I? I thought it would be a novelty to have a face around here a man could look at without shuddering.
- Evangeline: What does he look like?
- Walter Burns: He looks like that fellow in the movies. You know... Ralph Bellamy.
- Walter Burns: [on the phone] Well, Butch, where are you?... Well, what are you doing there? Haven't you even started?... Listen, it's a matter of life and death!... Well, you can't stop for a dame now! I don't care if you've been after her for six years. Butch - our whole lives are at stake! Are you going to let a woman come between us after all we've been through?... Butch, I'd put my arm in fire for you, up to here. Now you can't double-cross me... Put her on, I'll talk to her.
- [talking to the woman]
- Walter Burns: Oh, good evening, madam. Now listen, you ten-cent glamour girl. You can't keep Butch away from his duty!... What's that?... You say that again, I'll come over there and kick you in the teeth!... Say, what kind of language is that? Now look here you. -
- [makes a noise like a horse, hangs up]
- Walter Burns: She hung up! What did I say?
- Hildy Johnson: [speaking to Walter on the phone] Did you hear that? That's the story I just wrote. Yes, yes, I know we had a bargain. I just said I'd write it, I didn't say I wouldn't tear it up! It's all in little pieces now, Walter, and I hope to do the same for you some day!
- [hangs up emphatically]
- Hildy Johnson: [to the other reporters] And that, my friends, is my farewell to the newspaper game.
- Walter Burns: Let's see this paragon! Is he as good as you say?
- Hildy Johnson: Why, he's better!
- Walter Burns: Well then, what does he want with you?
- Hildy Johnson: Ah-ha-ha, now you got me!
- Sheriff Hartwell: Please don't call me 'Pinky'.
- Murphy: Why not?
- Sheriff Hartwell: Because I got a name, see... and it's Peter B. Hartwell.
- McCue, reporter: What's the "B" for?
- Murphy: Bull.
- Hildy Johnson: [speaking on the phone to Bruce] There's an old newspaper superstition that the first big check you get, you put in the lining of your hat. In your hat! It brings good luck.
- Murphy: I've been a reporter for 20 years - I never heard that before.
- Hildy Johnson: [to Murphy] Neither did I.
- Hildy Johnson: All I know is that instead of two weeks in Atlantic City with my bridegroom, I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Krupsky. You don't deny that, do you Walter?
- Walter Burns: Deny it? I'm proud of it. We beat the whole country on that story.
- Hildy Johnson: [shouting] Well, suppose we did. That isn't what I got married for!
- Bensinger: Are we invited to the wedding?
- Hildy Johnson: Well, I might use you for a bridesmaid, Roy.
- Bensinger: [speaking into a phone] Here's the situation on the eve on the hanging.
- Murphy: [listening, picks up his phone] This is Murphy. More slop on the hanging.
- Bensinger: A double guard has been thrown around the jail, municipal buildings, railroad terminals and elevated stations to prepare for the expected uprising of radicals at the hour of execution.
- Murphy: Ready? The sheriff has just put 200 more relatives on the payroll to protect the city from the Red Army, which is leaving Moscow in a couple of minutes.
- Endicott: Trouble is, when the real Red Menace shows up, the Sheriff will still be cryin' wolf.
- Walter Burns: Look, look, what's the use of fighting, Hildy. I'll tell you what you do. You come back to work on the paper. If we find we can't get along on a friendly fashion, we'll get married again.
- Walter Burns: Louie, take the lady over to Polack Mike's.
- Louis: My name's Louie Peluso.
- [Picks up Bruce Baldwin's mother, carries her over his shoulder]
- Walter Burns: Lock her up! See that she doesn't talk to anyone.
- Hildy Johnson: You can't do this!
- Louis: What'll I tell 'em?
- Walter Burns: Tell 'em its a case of DTs.
- Hildy Johnson: Don't worry Mother. This is only temporary!
- Walter Burns: Listen, the last man that said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat.
- Walter Burns: Bruce, I, uh... let me get this straight. I must have misunderstood you. You mean you're taking the sleeper today and then getting married tomorrow?
- Bruce Baldwin: Oh, well, it's not like that.
- Walter Burns: Well, what's it like?
- Hildy Johnson: Poor Walter. He'll toss and turn all night. Perhaps we better tell him Mother's coming along, too.
- Walter Burns: [to Hildy] Mother? Why, your mother kicked the bucket!
- Bruce Baldwin: No, my mother - my mother.
- Walter Burns: Oh, your mother. Oh, well, that relieves my mind.
- Hildy Johnson: [to Walter] It was cruel of us to let you suffer that way.
- [to Bruce]
- Hildy Johnson: Isn't Walter sweet? Always wanting to protect me.
- Walter Burns: You've got the brain of a pancake. This isn't just a story you're covering - it's a revolution. This is the greatest yarn in journalism since Livingstone discovered Stanley.
- Hildy Johnson: It's the other way around.
- Walter Burns: Oh, well, don't get technical at a time like this.
- Walter Burns: [Points at Bruce's boots] Oh and I see you've got your rubbers too, always good to be prepared for anything.
- Hildy Johnson: He's kind and he's sweet and he's considerate. He wants a home and children.
- Walter Burns: Sounds more like a guy I ought to marry.
- Endicott: Is there any truth in the report that you're on Stalin's payroll?
- McCue, reporter: Yeah, the Senator claims you sleep in Red underwear.
- Fred, the Mayor: Never mind the jokes. Don't forget I'm the Mayor of this town!
- Bruce Baldwin: [Speaking of Walter] You know, Hildy, he's not such a bad fellow.
- Hildy Johnson: No, he should make some girl real happy.
- Bruce Baldwin: Uh-huh.
- Hildy Johnson: [Under her breath] Slap-happy.
- Bruce Baldwin: He's not the man for you. I can see that. But I sort of like him. He's got a lot of charm.
- Hildy Johnson: Well, he comes by it naturally - his grandfather was a snake.
- Opening Title Card: It all happened in the "Dark Ages" of the Newspaper game - - When to a reporter "Getting That Story" justified anything short of murder. Incidentally you will see in this picture no resemblance to the men and women of the press of Today. Ready? Well, once upon a time -...
- [Joe brings a reprieve for Earl Williams from the governor]
- Fred, the Mayor: Who else was there when he gave you this?
- Joe Pettibone: Nobody. He was out fishing.
- Fred, the Mayor: [to Sheriff Hartwell] Get the Governor on the phone.
- Joe Pettibone: No, he's not there. He's out duck shooting.
- Fred, the Mayor: The blasted nimrod... fishing, duck shooting! A guy who's done nothing for the last forty years but play pinochle gets elected governor and right away he thinks he's a Tarzan!
- Walter Burns: Did you see me in your dreams?
- Hildy Johnson: Oh, no. Mama doesn't dream about you any more, Walter. You wouldn't know the old girl now.
- Walter Burns: Oh, yes I would. I'd know you anytime...
- Walter Burns, Hildy Johnson: Any place...
- Hildy Johnson: Anywhere. Aw, you're repeating yourself, Walter. That's the speech you made the night you proposed.
- Walter Burns: Yes, I notice you still remember.
- Hildy Johnson: Of course, I remember it. If I didn't remember it I wouldn't have divorced you.
- Hildy Johnson: The paper's gonna have to get along without me. So are you! It just didn't work out, Walter.
- Walter Burns: Well, it would have worked out if you had been satisfied with just being editor and reporter; but, not you, you had to marry me! Spoil everything.