Road to Singapore (1940)

Bing Crosby: Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : If the world was run right, only women'd get married.

  Ace Lannigan : Yeah. Hey, could they do that?

• Ace Lannigan : [wrestling with a just caught Marlin]  Hey, he's still alive!

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : He won't give up!

  Ace Lannigan : He must be a Republican.

• Gloria Wycott : You look wonderful!

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : I feel good.

  Gloria Wycott : You're as brown as a coconut.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : It serves us right for gettin' mixed up with a dame.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : This is a very special offer. The dollar bottle has been selling for 50 cents. It's now available for a quarter.

  Ace Lannigan : Down to a quarter! I'll take a dime.

  Ace Lannigan : He's dipped to a dime.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : A cigar coupon!

  Ace Lannigan : Anybody got an old razor blade?

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : An old beat up yam?

  Ace Lannigan : A bus ticket?

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : We're going to make a fortune.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Why, this is worse than being married only we're not married.

• Ace Lannigan : [in brown face, disguised as natives]  Shucky-ducky-walky?

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : No. No sucky-ducky.

  Ace Lannigan : Oh, sucky-ducky. Bicarbonate soda.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Okey-dokey.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : How often do they give these little taffy pulls?

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Where is Josh going?

  Ace Lannigan : Oh, where's he always goin'? He sees a pair of big, brown eyes and he starts doin' nip-ups. Give him a girl, a moon and some stars and he goes haywire. In fact, just give him a girl!

• Mima : What are you doing? Are you going crazy?

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : No, we're going native and you're going along with us.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Oh, I'm famished! I'm so hungry my spare tire's deflated. Well, pretty near.

• Gloria Wycott : Well, now, here's the general idea. We're going to take a nice long leisurely cruise home, give you time to get over eating with your fingers, and then every night in the moonlight I'll whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Well, you wouldn't want me now if I didn't want to go back with you, would you? After all, there's some things around here I kind of like.

  Gloria Wycott : Yes, I saw one of them. And I don't blame you. But, Josh, you've never seen me in a sarong. I'm quite a dish.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Well, you dopey-looking cluck! You're kidding. You in love?

  Ace Lannigan : What's the matter with that? Dopier-lookin' clucks than me have been in love.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Well, name one.

• Ace Lannigan : We've got to agree on something right now - no more women! No women of any kind, size, shape, or color.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Not even midgets!

  Ace Lannigan : Why, if either of us looks at anything in a skirt, the other can clip his ears off and stuff 'em down his throat.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : And I hope you choke.

• Joshua Mallon IV : You seem to think the world is just some sort of a three-ring circus, and all you've got to do is to run around and have fun!

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : What's wrong with that?

  Joshua Mallon IV : The world won't let you - that's what's wrong with that.

  Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : You mean the Mallons won't let me.

• Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : From now on, I'm goin' to be nothin' but a nothin'. Just like you two.