Road to Singapore (1940)
Bob Hope: Ace Lannigan
Photos
Quotes
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Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : If the world was run right, only women'd get married.
Ace Lannigan : Yeah. Hey, could they do that?
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Ace Lannigan : Whew! That was a close one. In another minute, she'd have had a wedding ring through my nose.
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Ace Lannigan : I just want you to stand there and admire me for a while. I just got an idea that's gonna make us a fortune. I don't know how I do it.
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Ace Lannigan : I need some air.
Joshua Mallon IV : The night air is bad for you junior, back in the net.
Ace Lannigan : Yeah, now I know how a salmon feels.
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Ace Lannigan : Your engagement? Why you double-crossin', moonstruck pushover. Gloria hits you with a little billin' and cooin' and - bang - you're a dead pigeon, huh?
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Ace Lannigan : [wrestling with a just caught Marlin] Hey, he's still alive!
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : He won't give up!
Ace Lannigan : He must be a Republican.
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Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : This is a very special offer. The dollar bottle has been selling for 50 cents. It's now available for a quarter.
Ace Lannigan : Down to a quarter! I'll take a dime.
Ace Lannigan : He's dipped to a dime.
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : A cigar coupon!
Ace Lannigan : Anybody got an old razor blade?
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : An old beat up yam?
Ace Lannigan : A bus ticket?
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : We're going to make a fortune.
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Ace Lannigan : Is that your mustache? Tell me, does your chest ever get jealous of your upper lip? Ah, a might pretty thing. A mighty pretty thing.
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Ace Lannigan : Look at that! Just like a platinum blonde riding a white horse through a flock of swans.
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Ace Lannigan : [in brown face, disguised as natives] Shucky-ducky-walky?
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : No. No sucky-ducky.
Ace Lannigan : Oh, sucky-ducky. Bicarbonate soda.
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Okey-dokey.
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Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Where is Josh going?
Ace Lannigan : Oh, where's he always goin'? He sees a pair of big, brown eyes and he starts doin' nip-ups. Give him a girl, a moon and some stars and he goes haywire. In fact, just give him a girl!
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Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Well, you dopey-looking cluck! You're kidding. You in love?
Ace Lannigan : What's the matter with that? Dopier-lookin' clucks than me have been in love.
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Well, name one.
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Ace Lannigan : Boy, what I'd give for a patty-cake.
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Ace Lannigan : We've got to agree on something right now - no more women! No women of any kind, size, shape, or color.
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : Not even midgets!
Ace Lannigan : Why, if either of us looks at anything in a skirt, the other can clip his ears off and stuff 'em down his throat.
Joshua 'Josh' Mallon V : And I hope you choke.
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Mima : Josh! She's got Josh!
Ace Lannigan : Josh! Gosh!