- Joy: Just because Ted's music is modern, just because it sounds new to your ears, that doesn't mean it's bad music. Mr. Listz, after all, isn't it the melody that counts? You can play a good melody in any style - modern or classical.
- Ludwig van Beethoven: Your modern music sounds pleasing to the ears. But, will it live? Will it stand up to the test of time?
- Ted Barry: [singing] As we soar higher and higher, Why is my heart blissfully swaying? That's because it hears violins playing...
- Ted Barry: Look, mister, you don't seem to be hep. I'm Ted Barry, the old maestro. You know: Dance and smile, the Barry style.
- Johannes Brahms: I beg your pardon, but, what was the musical form you mentioned: boogie?
- Ted Barry: Boogie Woogie, Mr. Brahms. Well that's just, you know, barrelhouse music. Eight to the bar. Plenty of schmaltz.
- Niccolò Paganini: Schmaltz? Huh, that sounds like you, Wagner.
- Ludwig van Beethoven: Mr. Barry, may I ask what type of music you have conducted?
- Ted Barry: Oh, the usual routine: boogie woogie and dixieland, sweet stuff for the ickies, jump music for the hepcats, but, solid.