The Kissing Bandit (1948)
J. Carrol Naish: Chico
Photos
Quotes
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Chico : Kissing is the best part of the job, because in California, all the women are beautiful. We got nothing but *beautiful* women.
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Ricardo : Chico, why did they call my father the Kissing Bandit?
Chico : Oh, every bandit chief got a trademark. After every robbery, your father used to kiss the women - like you're gonna do. That was his trademark.
Ricardo : You mean he kissed women he didn't even know?
Chico : Sure.
Ricardo : Women he wasn't introduced to?
Chico : Oh, but you're gonna like it.
Ricardo : Oh, no, I won't. Why, in Boston you don't even kiss women you do know! Not until you're engaged to them. Oh, no!
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Chico : Oh, you look just like your father. If I didn't know it was you, I would think it was him. You were *born* to be a bandit.
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Ricardo : My father, he did own the inn didn't he? He was an innkeeper wasn't he?
Chico : Didn't you ever hear about him doing something else?
Ricardo : Well, yes, I heard he had a little sideline. You mean, the little sideline is being a bandit?
Chico : No, the sideline was being an innkeeper. The *main* thing was being a bandit.
Ricardo : Oh, my. Oh, me. Son of a Bandit. That's terrible.
Chico : But, you're not the son of just a bandit. You're the son of the Kissing Bandit!
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Chico : My life begins tomorrow. It's true there won't be classes or lessons; but, well, there will be new things. Things like - like romance.
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Chico : Aunt Isabella, look. Isn't he wonderful? You know, that's the way a man ought to look.
Isabella : Teresa, I must speak to you. You've doubtless heard what he does. The Kissing Bandit, to women, I mean.
Chico : Why, he kisses them.
Isabella : Yes, well, it mustn't happen to you. Your father would never live down the disgrace. And so you're to stay right here and I will get out.
Chico : But what good will that do?
Isabella : Why, he'll kiss me instead. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the honor of our family.
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Chico : Little one, I love you like you were my own son. This you know. But if I hear one more word about this girl, I'm finished with you. This I mean!
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Chico : Chico, she doesn't like me.
Ricardo : She doesn't like you? Who said she didn't like you?
Chico : She did.
Ricardo : She did? What does she know about it? Women always say no, as I remember.
Ricardo : Well, maybe sometimes they mean it.
Chico : Nah, Ricardo, listen. They always *want* to say yes. But when they are little girls their mothers tell them: "Don't make it easy. Make it tough." So, you gotta make eyes a little, flirt a little, waste a little time. Then they say yes *always*. This I do remember!
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Chico : Do you know what I found in the treasury? Twelve stinkin' pesos - and, believe me, they look homemade.
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Colonel Gomez : Now I know who you are.
Chico : [disguised as General Toro] And I know who you are too.
Colonel Gomez : Ever since you came here, I've been watching you.
Chico : And I've been watching you too.
Colonel Gomez : You have?
Chico : Yes, I have. And if ever I saw a criminal face, you've got it.
Colonel Gomez : Oh, no.
Chico : Oh, yes! And if you don't keep out of my sight, I'm gonna remember your crime. Then you'll be sorry.
Colonel Gomez : But, I didn't do anything.
Chico : Yes, you did.
Colonel Gomez : What?
Chico : You know what?
Colonel Gomez : No, I don't know. What I did I do?
Chico : Yes, you do! And if you don't look out, you know what's going to happen to you?
Colonel Gomez : No, what's going to happen?
Chico : Oh-oh-oh, you'll find out.
Colonel Gomez : But, I...
Chico : Now, get out and don't bother me.
Colonel Gomez : Yes, sir.