George O'Hanlon: Joe McDoakes
Photos
Quotes
-
[in court]
Joe McDoakes : ...not guilty.
Judge : I beg your pardon?
Joe McDoakes : I said I'm not guilty, your honor.
Judge : You realize that by pleading guilty and paying two dollars, the case will be dismissed?
Joe McDoakes : I don't want it dismissed. I'm not guilty. What kind of a city is this anyhow? You got signals that go up and down and up and down and up and down.
Judge : Do you waive a trial by jury?
Joe McDoakes : I waive nothing. I want the best jury in the country. I wouldn't trust my fate in the hands of any one servant of this this corrupted city.
Judge : All right. Jury trial, date to be set. Defendant pleads not guilty. You're free to go now, Mr. McDoakes.
Joe McDoakes : Darn right I am.
Judge : Except for one thing.
Judge : What?
Judge : The fine for contempt of court is fifty dollars.
Joe McDoakes : [shouts] Fifty dollars?
Judge : Seventy-five.
Joe McDoakes : [shouts] For what?
Judge : One hundred. Step over to the bailiff.
-
[last lines]
[at a traffic light]
Joe McDoakes : [sighs] Ooh, it's sure swell to be a free man again, honey. Y'know, it's a good thing they let me out. When they did I, I was getting to be a real convict. Ha ha.
Alice McDoakes : Yes dear, you had me a little worried.
[traffic light signal changes]
Alice McDoakes : Come on Joe, the signal changed.
Joe McDoakes : Ah.
[the car passes the sign and again it starts going up and down. McDoakes stumbles upon the crossroad and a cop approaches him]
Joe McDoakes : [talking fast] I'm guilty. I know. I did it. I went through the red light. I'm sorry, kay. Look here. I'll pay you now. There's the two dollars, take it.
-
Joe McDoakes : Listen, Officer, why don't you do something about the crazy signals in this town. Up and down and down and up and up and down!
-
Officer Flanagan - Traffic Cop : There you are Mr. McDoakes.
[hands Joe a traffic ticket]
Officer Flanagan - Traffic Cop : Better watch those traffic signals after this.
[walks away]
Joe McDoakes : Why that flat-footed, lame-brained, pin-headed...
Alice McDoakes : Oh, don't get yourself too upset, Joe. It'll only cost you two dollars.
-
Convict : Look me up when you get out. I got the sweetest little racket you ever heard of. Signal fixin'.
Joe McDoakes : Signal fixin'?
Convict : Radar. You push a little button in your car, the signal changes from stop to go. You always got the green light.
