- Stanley Snodgrass: My ministers do not control me, O Princess of magnificent beauty. Only I make the decisions that are... continued on next girl.
- Title Card: "In the year 1900, there lived a chorus boy named Stanley Snodgrass, who worked his way up from the gutter... only to discover that he had a round trip ticket."
- Stanley Snodgrass: How can my public discover me if Fraser keeps kickin' me out of his shows? In the chorus, you've danced behind a lot of big stars, Daisy, and from the back, don't I have as much as any of them?
- Daisy Crockett: More, Stanley.
- [Stanley is literally thrown out of his Broadway show]
- Daisy Crockett: [noting Stanley still in costume] You should have changed into your own clothes.
- Stanley Snodgrass: In mid-air?
- Albert Snodgrass: [to Stanley] I am NOT your daddy. I'm your mother's husband, and I refuse to be responsible for any mistakes but my own.
- Stanley Snodgrass: [to his mother, after thinking it over] I think he insulted one of us.
- Daisy Crockett: Will I see you tomorrow, Stanley?
- Stanley Snodgrass: Oh, don't come to the bottom of the river just for that.
- Stanley Snodgrass: Logan, I told you to take the rest of the night off.
- Dennis Logan: A gentleman's gentleman NEVER takes the night off, sir.
- Stanley Snodgrass: Yes, but does a gentleman's gentleman stay when the gentleman wants the gentleman's gentleman to leave the gentleman with the lady?
- Dennis Logan: A gentleman is never alone with a lady, sir.
- Stanley Snodgrass: [sighs] You're now working for a cad. By the way, the money's the same. Go.
- Stanley Snodgrass: Anything I can't stand it's peeking through a keyhole and gettin' the busy signal.
- Irene Bailey: Anything on fire?
- Stanley Snodgrass: And how. Oh, that, yeah. That's a gentleman's perfume. That's my own blend, my dear. It's called Blue Snodgrass. You have to have a license to use it. Does it do somethin' to you?
- Irene Bailey: Yes! But if we open a window, I think I will be all right.
- Irene Bailey: Oh, please, Stanley. One toast with our producer.
- Stanley Snodgrass: All right--one. But remember, I can count.
- Stanley Snodgrass: And what happened to my blindfolded violinist?
- Harry Fraser: Uh, they're leading him upstairs now.
- Dennis Logan: You can't trap the rat if you remove the cheese. Get Snodgrass back on that stage, and hurry up!
- Hackenschmidt - Cabbie: That's all right, Stanley. Just remember, you're helping me clean stables Sunday.
- Stanley Snodgrass: I'll remember, if the wind is right.
- Daisy Crockett: [helping him up] Are you hurt, Stanley?
- Stanley Snodgrass: Only my pride...
- Stanley Snodgrass: [rubbing his bottom] ... but it goes pretty deep.
- Allen Trent: That's right, Stanley. She wanted to replace me with you right after the first performance.
- Stanley Snodgrass: What a coincidence. So did I.
- Daisy Crockett: Stanley, if you go out on that stage tonight, you'll be murdered by Jack the Slasher.
- Stanley Snodgrass: Well, that's ridiculous. I never even met Jack the Slasher.
- Mrs. Emily Snodgrass: I wouldn't let my boy associate with such a person.