The Seven Year Itch (1955)

Oscar Homolka: Dr. Brubaker

Quotes 

• Dr. Brubaker : My 3:00 patient jumped out of the window in the middle of his session. I have been running fifteen minutes ahead of schedule ever since.

• Dr. Brubaker : Until you are able to commit a simple act of terror, I strongly advise you to avoid anything as complex as murder.

• Richard Sherman : Tell me doctor, are you very expensive?

  Dr. Brubaker : Very!

  Richard Sherman : I'm sure you occasionally make exceptions.

  Dr. Brubaker : Never!

  Richard Sherman : Well I mean, once in a while, a case must come along that really interests you.

  Dr. Brubaker : At fifty dollars an hour, all my cases interest me.

• [Reading the cover of his book] 

  Dr. Brubaker : "Of Sex and Violence"?

  Richard Sherman : Well we had to spice up the title a little.

• Dr. Brubaker : When something itches my dear sir, the natural tendency is to scratch.

  Richard Sherman : Last night I scratched.

• Richard Sherman : [Showing Dr. Brubaker a picture of The Girl in the "U.S. Camera" magazine yearbook]  Here, Doctor. I brought this with me. I didn't want to leave it lying around the house. That's her. Her hair was a little longer then. It's called "Textures" because you can see the three different textures: The driftwood, the sand and her. It got "honorable mention."

  Dr. Brubaker : Splendid. I congratulate you on your good taste. Interesting driftwood formation, too.

• Richard Sherman : Suppose this girl tells somebody about this? Oh, if she tells anybody about this, I'll kill her - I'll kill her with my bare hands!

  Dr. Brubaker : A possible solution... I submit, however, that murder is the most difficult of all crimes to commit successfully. Therefore, until you are able to commit a simple act of terror, I strongly advise you to avoid anything as complex as murder. One must learn to walk, before one can run. Thank you, and good bye.

• Richard Sherman : I just made a little boo-boo.

  Dr. Brubaker : Psychoanalysis does not recognize the boo-boo as such. Everything you do has it's roots in the unconscious.

  Richard Sherman : Believe me, Doctor, I was completely conscious.

• Dr. Brubaker : [Entering the room]  Good afternoon, Mr. Sherman. I see you've been working on my little book, 'Man and the Unconscious'.

  Richard Sherman : Yessss. It's a wonderful book, doctor. Very important. It has something in it for everyone.

  Dr. Brubaker : I think so.

  Richard Sherman : Now really, doctor, you'll be happy to know we're giving it a big promotion. The full treatment. Two months from today you'll be seeing this cover in every drugstore in America.

  Dr. Brubaker : [Shown artboard of a leggy woman in flimsy red dress backpedalling from a man on the street lunging at her]  OF SEX AND VIOLENCE?

  Richard Sherman : Well, we had to soup the title a little.

  Dr. Brubaker : [Studying the artboard]  And what, my I ask, is this supposed to represent?

  Richard Sherman : It represents Gustaf Mayerheim, you remember, the mad lover of Leipzig, terrorizing one of his victims. Isn't that just sensational?

  Dr. Brubaker : May I remind you, sir, that Gustaf Mayerheim was a very small man with a large red beard?

  Richard Sherman : Doctor, you're quibbling, Nobody knows that.

  Dr. Brubaker : They know it in Leipzig!