- [Bill Haley walks up to a table with Arnie Haines and Alan Freed]
- Bill Haley: How we doin', Dad, the newspaper gal diggin' us?
- Arnie Haines: Yeah, real deep. She sounds like she has us plowed way under already.
- Alan Freed: That's freedom of the press.
- Bill Haley: Yeah, and I always thought that freedom of the press was a tailor who irons your suits for nothing. It shows you.
- [everyone laughs a forced and phony laugh, and then they all get up and leave; Bill Haley looks offended]
- Arnie Haines: He seems to think that running around in my underwear or getting thrown out of my hotel is news. And does that sound like news to you guys?
- Member of Applejacks: If you were Kim Novak, it might.
- Arnie Haines: Oh, very funny.
- Arnie Haines: Well, we have a point to prove Mr. Everett. We'd like to show the rest of the country that Rock-n-Roll is a safe and sane dance for all young people.
- Sunny Everett: It hasn't hurt me any, has it?
- Bill Haley: I don't know whether I ought to speak to you guys or not.
- Arnie Haines: Why is that?
- Bill Haley: The only way I can get more publicity than you - is to go up Broadway without my underwear.
- Arnie Haines: Yeah, well, the next time it'll be Alan here doing the Lady Godiva, not Arnie Haines.
- Bill Haley: [singing] Blue suede shoes, Nylon thread, Jaguar hat, Gonna knock 'em dead, 'Cause I'm rockin', Rockin' on down the line, Hot dog buddy buddy, A hot dog all the time...
- Mayor George Bagley: I tell you, Mr. Haines, and we the people of Mellondale consider your so-called music outrageous! Rock-n-Roll is for morons! You've seen the moral effect it's having on our younger generation. And I say again, it's outrageous! Depraved!
- Arnie Haines: Well, what's depraved about dancing?
- Mayor George Bagley: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I will not tolerate such behavior in this town. Go home! Children should be seen and not heard.
- Alan Freed: Boy, there's a quote from the Middle Ages.
- Mayor George Bagley: I have no legal right to keep you out of town. But I want to warn you. Just one, one exhibition to ruin the morals of our younger people - just one toot - and out you go.
- Arlene MacLaine: Psychiatrists are blaming parents for everything these days. It's really quite the thing to be angry with one's mother. However, I'm sure I'll give you plenty of cause before I'm through with your Mr. Arnie Haines.
- Francine MacLaine: Mother...
- Francine MacLaine: I suppose you think that the Mayor is right.
- Arlene MacLaine: If I said yes, you'd think I'm not being fair. Let's just say, "no comment."
- Francine MacLaine: Teenagers are almost adults. They're entitled to their own opinions not what somebody dictates for them.
- Arnie Haines: I tell you, I was beginning to think maybe I am some kind of a freak. They called me everything but that today. I guess that makes me normal, huh?
- Francine MacLaine: I've come to the conclusion that Rock-n-Roll is a symptom of the young people. Asserting themselves for their right to do things as they think fit. They resent the wrong kind of discipline by parents.
- Arnie Haines: Parents would never understand that.
- Francine MacLaine: Sometimes people assert themselves in the wrong way.
- Arnie Haines: How did you get so smart at your age, little girl?
- Francine MacLaine: Isn't that beside the point?
- Arnie Haines: Pretty, too. And you couldn't have spent your time in beauty parlors.
- Francine MacLaine: Thank you.
- Arnie Haines: It isn't me at all. Arnie Haines is just a name. If it weren't Arnie Haines, it'd be somebody else. Kids just pick somebody like me and wave me like a flag. They wanna hold me in front of their parents' noses like a pair of red britches in front of a bull.
- Francine MacLaine: Why did you kiss me?
- Arnie Haines: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even know I had kissed... You know, you shouldn't look like that if you don't want to be kissed.
- Francine MacLaine: Strictly a sex attraction, wasn't it?
- Arnie Haines: La-la-la, De-de-de-de
- Francine MacLaine: Go ahead, sing it.
- Arnie Haines: [singing] Your love is my love, And your life is my life, With every breathe I take, I'll make your dreams come true...
- Alan Freed: Now what are we gonna do?
- Arnie Haines: We're gonna turn the other cheek, and let her take a sock at that, too.
- Arnie Haines: We'd like to put on a special Rock-n-Roll show here some Saturday night.
- Sunny Everett: Man, that'd be the coolest! Arnie Haines, right here in Friesville!
- Tom Everett - Influential Citizen: Whoa, now, honey, not so fast.
- Tom Everett - Influential Citizen: You'd like to have Mr. Haines here real bad, wouldn't you?
- Sunny Everett: I can't think of any other man in the whole world I'd want more.
- Francine MacLaine: Mother's kept boys away from me as if they had rabies. She once read where wolves get rabies like dogs.
- Sunny Everett: I like men. Why shouldn't I be frank about it? All women do. They just don't come out and say so.
- The Trenirs: [singing] Oh, boy! One of these days, I'm gonna jump out of the bushes, And grab you, Grab you, One of these days...
- Arnie Haines: Miss Everett, look, I'm a lot older than you are, you know?
- Sunny Everett: [gives Arnie a long kiss] There. Now I just grew up five years. See you, Arnie.
- Francine MacLaine: Well, Mother, how does it look?
- Arlene MacLaine: As if they all need a sedative.
- Francine MacLaine: But you must admit, it's just dancing. That's all. These kids aren't doing anything wrong.
- Arlene MacLaine: Well, darling, how can I tell? They all move so fast, it looks like a double exposure.
- Arnie Haines: Hey, where does your mother think you're at tonight?
- Francine MacLaine: At a hog-calling contest.
- Bill Haley: The newspaper gal digging us?
- Arnie Haines: Yeah, real deep. She sounds like she has us plowed way under already.
- Alan Freed: That's freedom of the press.
- Bill Haley: Yeah, and I always thought freedom of the press was a tailor who ironed your suits for nothin'.
- Franny Beecher - Guitarist, The Comets: Let's rip it up!
- Bill Haley: [singing] Well, it's Saturday night and I just got paid, Fool about my money, don't try to save, My heart says go, go, have a time, 'Cause it's Saturday night, and baby I feel fine, I'm gonna rock it up, I'm gonna rip it up, I'm gonna shake it up, I'm gonna break it up, I'm gonna lock it up, At the ball tonight...
- Alan Freed: And now, here's that real solid man of Rock-n-Roll: Little Richard and "Long Tall Sally"!
- Little Richard: [singing] Gonna tell Aunt Mary 'bout Uncle John, He claimed he has the misery, But he's havin' a lot of fun, Oh baby, Yeah! Baby, Wooooo baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah, Well long, tall Sally, She's built for speed, She got everything that Uncle John need, Oh baby, Yeah! Baby, Wooooo baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah...
- Sunny Everett: Oh, now come on. If the world was made in six days, we should be able to make a little time in 15 minutes.
- Arnie Haines: Boy, something tells me your father missed up on a few spankings somewhere along the line.
- Sunny Everett: I parked it here just for us.
- Arnie Haines: If you think I'm gonna go for a drive now...
- Sunny Everett: Now, who said anything about driving? I just want to talk. Get in.
- Arnie Haines: Okay, start talking.
- Sunny Everett: [puts Arnie's arm around her shoulder] There. Now I can always say I necked with Arnie Haines.
- Arnie Haines: Necked?
- Sunny Everett: You're the most scared man I ever did see.
- Arnie Haines: I wish you were the most scared girl I ever saw.
- Sunny Everett: Don't you know that in some countries, girls get married at 14?
- Arnie Haines: That's it. You should go there.
- Alan Freed: Light up the lantern and let the bells toll 'cause that man's comin' out to Rock-n-Roll. So take off your handcuffs and take off your chains, while we dig with the mostest of - Arnie Haines!
- The Applejacks: [singing] Ding-dong. Ding-dong-ding-dong.
- Arnie Haines: A bell is gonna ring one of these days
- The Applejacks: One of these days
- Arnie Haines: And the choir is gonna sing one of these days
- The Applejacks: One of these days
- Arnie Haines: When you press your lips to mine, Tell me, honey, our love's divine...
- Alan Freed: It's intermission time. Time to rest your feet. Then Little Richard and his cats will be here with a beat. You got 15 minutes, so set your clocks. And then jive on back with your rolls and rocks!
- Sunny Everett: It's a mess, Mr. Bagley. Drinking and everything. Real sinful!
- Mayor George Bagley: Sinful, I knew it.
- Arlene MacLaine: This is the most useless two hours I have ever spent. Nothing has happened but the most violent exercise and I simply abhor exercise.
- Tom Everett - Influential Citizen: I'm ready to believe what Arnie Haines said about my daughter. And I'll whale the living tar out of her hide just as soon as we get home!
- Francine MacLaine: Parents don't want to blame themselves for what their children are doing. I mean, the kind that cut up classrooms and have knife fights. They don't want to blame themselves, so they find something like Rock-n-Roll to blame it on. If parents would only realize that their children are no different than they were 25 or 30 years ago.
- Arnie Haines: Let's get on with the show. Ladies and gentlemen, some Rock-n-Roll terpsichore. One, two, three, four.
- The Applejacks: [singing] Don't knock the rock, boy, You got to roll it, Don't knock the rock, boy, You got to roll!
- Arnie Haines: You can knock bebop and you can knock swing
- Arnie Haines, The Applejacks: Say what you want about any old thing, Don't knock the rock, Don't knock the rock
- Arnie Haines: My baby don't do nothing but Rock-n-Roll, that's all!
- The Applejacks: That's all, That's all, That's all...