- Mike Andrews: Your daughter, may I remind you, speaks French. She's getting them in and out of these towns like the Scarlet Pimpernel.
- Mike Andrews: [to a policeman who can't speak English, as they leave] You big clod. You couldn't find your own nose with both hands, a full moon and radar.
- Mike Andrews: General, if you could get us a car and let us have a look...
- Suzanne Duval: Oh yes, please general.
- Gen. Medworth: My dear sir... and madame, 18 cars, 10 tanks, six weapon carriers, a dozen scout cars, hundreds of men and six aircraft are covering the area now.
- Gen. Medworth: I do assure you then, the little nippers'll be in our hands, safe and sound. Ah, tea.
- Janine Duval: Why do they have frontiers, Danny?
- Danny Andrews: I don't know. So we can tell one country from another, I guess.
- Mike Andrews: I'm over here trying to start a business, all I'm starting is an ulcer.
- MP Sgt. Morgan: That's funny. I had an ulcer on the way, when the Army took me. Since I've been in France, something's happened - no more ulcer. Yeah, I learned something. Maybe it was just how to relax.
- Mike Andrews: That's over 400 miles to Paris. They don't have any money or food.
- David, Earl of Boardingham: [Looking at a list he has] Oh, yes, Danny has 82 francs and 30 centimes. And he has five sandwiches - two ham, one cheese, two cucumber. He's bound to make it to Paris.
- Mike Andrews: I wouldn't bet on it.
- David, Earl of Boardingham: I already have.
- Mike Andrews: [after a crammed car ride with three French relatives] Well, I'm glad they brought the food along. It wouldn't have been as much fun without it.
- Danny Andrews: Look, Janine. To get to Paris I'll have to walk, hitch rides, hop freight cars. Well, you're smart... for a girl. But you can't do all that.
- Janine Duval: I speak French.
- Danny Andrews: All right, so you speak French, for Pete's sake.
- Janine Duval: And I want to be with you.
- Mike Andrews: For Pete's sake, wouldn't you know it - lunch time? City hall, the police station, everything's gotta close at lunch time. There's no calling. The whole place becomes a ghost town. Look! Look! Not a soul in the street. I wonder what happens if there should be a fire during lunch. No, no, don't tell me. Everybody grabs a leg of lamb and roasts it over the burning building. Hah! The French!
- Suzanne Duval: I'm not French - I'm alone. Just as you're not an American, but also alone. We're human beings and we're alone. Nationality doesn't help us there.
- Mike Andrews: I'm a father.
- Suzanne Duval: How did you keep your temper long enough to become a father?
- Mike Andrews: [after their several transport problems] You know, our kids are smart - they're WALKING to Paris.
- Mike Andrews: [to the motorcycle cop giving them a ride] Hey, what are you - a French policeman or a Japanese suicide pilot?