- Mister Buddwing: I don't know where I was last night. I woke up in Central Park. As God is my witness, that's all I know.
- Mister Buddwing: Sam? Sam what?
- [Budweiser truck drives by]
- Mister Buddwing: Bud? Sam Budd.
- [airplane flies overhead]
- Mister Buddwing: Wing? Sam Buddwing. I've got a name.
- Mister Buddwing: Grace, we have been married four years. We are no further now than the day we met. I don't want us to turn into... I don't know, schlubs. I don't want us to be like all the schlubs in the world, walking around stoop shouldered and afraid. The men with mortgages around their necks and the women with their fat bellies full of kids. I don't want you going to a *stupid* job each day and hating it and hating me.
- Gloria: [on the phone] You drive me nuts! What is it that you want?
- Mister Buddwing: I want to see you.
- Gloria: No!
- Mister Buddwing: W-w-we can have some coffee, we can talk. Please, Gloria.
- Gloria: Well, I'm gonna put on my clothes. You're not gonna walk in here and find me in *bed* if that's what you're thinkin'.
- Mister Buddwing: You don't recognize me?
- Gloria: I never saw you before in my life.
- [starts to close the door]
- Mister Buddwing: No, wait. Wait. I've - I've got your phone number, see?
- Gloria: Oh, come on now, mister, let's cut the stuff. You met my husband in some lousy bar last night. He gave you my number and says, "Call her, she puts out."
- Mr. Schwartz: How could you forget a place like Miami Beach?
- Mister Buddwing: I just don't remember.
- Mr. Schwartz: Are you Jewish? If you're a Jewish, you've been there.
- Mister Buddwing: Oh, I don't know.
- Mr. Schwartz: Then what are you? An Arab?
- 1st Cab Driver: Where's that broad going anyway?
- Mister Buddwing: What broad?
- 1st Cab Driver: The one in the cab up ahead.
- Mister Buddwing: Oh, watch it, he's turning.
- 1st Cab Driver: I see. I see, already. You know, I had a blonde broad in here the other day. Gets in the cab stoned drunk, two in the afternoon, wants me to take her to Oyster Bay. I say, "Where in Oyster Bay, lady?" She says, "On the water." I say, "Where on water, lady?" She says, "You want me to take your number?" Right away, they want to take your number! Well, she don't take my number. Instead she sits back and relaxes all over the place. You know, what I mean? She relaxes. With her dress right up to there. Singing very dirty songs. I swear, I almost crashed the cab four times. Well, the pay off is, only $28 ride. She gives me a quarter tip. And says, "Mister you never had a ride like that in your life." She starts marching up the front walk. Just before she goes in the door, she turns - and she gives me a bump and a grind. Like she was in the Barley House in Union City. Was it worth it? I ask you. Boy, what a business!
- Mister Buddwing: Stop digging at me. I don't know. I don't know. I wish I did, I want to, but I don't know!
- 1st Cab Driver: I get a ticket, you wanna pay the fine?
- Mister Buddwing: Y-yeah, okay. I'll pay the fine.
- 1st Cab Driver: Yeah, you're all gonna pay the fine until it comes time to pay the fine then nobody wants to pay the fine.
- The Blonde: Listen, you better not get funny. This is a public park, you know. You get funny in a public park, and oh, boy...
- Mister Buddwing: I'm somebody, do you understand? I don't know who, but I'm somebody. I'm me! And all I need is for someone else to see it. From now on, when you look at me you see me - or you see no one!
- Fiddle: Oh, don't tell me you really thought you knew me.
- Mister Buddwing: I do.
- Fiddle: Prove it.
- Mister Buddwing: You've got a beauty spot behind your left shoulder.
- Fiddle: I've got one, but it's somewhere else, and if you think I'm gonna show you where, you're outta your skull.
- Fiddle: So you don't know who you are? Make a choice. Be whoever you wanna be. That's what actors do. I mean, that's why they're actors. They don't know who they are so they go batting around waiting for some writer to write them a personality.
- Fiddle: I thought I was hip, and here I am falling for the oldest line in the world. "Haven't we met before?"
- Mister Buddwing: I got news for you, it's a lousy world outside. There are tigers and there are sheep out there and the tigers *eat* the sheep.
- Fiddle: Tony? Oh, no. He don't swing like that. Oh, Lord, I am so tired of those AC-DC types. Hey, uh, you normal?
- Mister Buddwing: I don't remember.
- Mister Buddwing: We're going to make it turn out our way. The way we want it, do you hear me? We're young and tough, why should we be crying on a bridge?
- Mister Buddwing: They made the rules, didn't they? Alright, we'll learn the rules. We'll play it their way. Listen to me, this is me standing here. I'm gonna get what I want, and you can't stop me!
- The Blonde: Oh, the beast emerges. Good, I love bestial men. Come on, give me the bottle. Oh, come on, come on.
- Mister Buddwing: Hey, you better go easy.
- The Blonde: Why? I go hard or easy. Anyway I want to. Cheers.
- Hank: Man, when you're born black you never know the smell of luck till it comes sailin' down Broadway sweet and cool in your nose.
- Mister Buddwing: Where is this game?
- Hank: Up in Harlem. You ain't a segregationist or anything?
- Mister Buddwing: Yeah, I sure am. I wanna segregate all that money from its rightful owner.
- The Blonde: Hey, I'm getting sober. Where is the bottle?
- Mister Buddwing: I like you better sober.
- The Blonde: Nobody cares whether you like me or not. Give me the bottle.
- The Blonde: Look what that list offers. Fame, fortune, adventure, romance? Hm-mm.
- Mister Buddwing: Where's the adventure and romance?
- The Blonde: Me.
- Mister Buddwing: You're not on the list.
- The Blonde: I'm better than on that list. I'm here.
- The Blonde: Hey, baby, where you going?
- Mister Buddwing: Home.
- The Blonde: Oh, you can't go home. Don't you know that, baby? You can't go home!
- Dice Player: Now, listen, you little buggers, when I say "come," you're gonna come and when I say "pass," you're going pass. Right now, your Mamma's telling you to pass.