- Anita Bryant: Sir?
- Bob Hope: Yes.
- Anita Bryant: Request permission of the commanding officer to see the chaplain.
- Bob Hope: See the chaplain? What could you girls possibly have to complain about?
- Anita Bryant: You!
- Bob Hope: Though you sound as though you abhor me, please don't try to fight it. Admit you adore me.
- Anita Bryant: Adore him? That would make 6 of us!
- Joey Heatherton: What a ham. He went into a violent rage this morning.
- Dian Parkinson: Why? What happened?
- Kaye Stevens: The sun rose before he did.
- Anita Bryant: How did he get you to go on this trip?
- Carroll Baker: He promised me some genuine pearls. He gave me a dozen oysters and a hammer. How about you?
- Joey Heatherton: He said he'd get me a barracuda. I thought he meant the car. Now I'm stuck with a stale fish and no ice.
- Dian Parkinson: He promised me I'd get some beautiful silk for next to nothing. He sold me a surplus parachute.
- Anita Bryant: He told me he'd show me all the excitement and intrigue of the Orient. He took me to a Charlie Chan movie.
- Kaye Stevens: He said I'd meet men in the Far East with a lot of pull. He wasn't lying. He introduced me to 7 rickshaw drivers.
- Bob Hope: They're all kidding. Believe me they wouldn't have missed this trip with me for anything. Right?
- Carroll Baker: That's right, Bob. Wherever you go we'll be right behind you.
- Bob Hope: You mean that?
- Anita Bryant: Sure. You're a bigger target.
- Dian Parkinson: Gee, Bob. Look at all those fellows taking your picture.
- Bob Hope: My picture? Honey, if they're taking my picture, we'd better get another bunch of marines.
- Carroll Baker: Oh, Bob. You're too modest. Why, every glamour girl in Hollywood was begging to go on this trip with you.
- Bob Hope: Who told you that?
- Carroll Baker: You did.
- Bob Hope: Well, at least it came from a reliable source.
- Carroll Baker: Bob, how come you didn't invite my husband to come along?
- Bob Hope: What are you talking about? I begged him to come. I even gave him a boat ticket.
- Carroll Baker: But Bob! By the time he gets here we'll be home!
- Bob Hope: Not if he's a fast rower.
- Bob Hope: I loved you in Harlow . I've never seen such sexy and revealing gowns.
- Carroll Baker: I was a little hoarse when I made that movie. Didn't you notice?
- Bob Hope: I didn't even know it was a talkie.
- Carroll Baker: Bob, how is it that we've never been in a picture together?
- Bob Hope: Oh, I think the Code only allows one sex symbol at a time.