Don't Drink the Water (1969) User Reviews

Pleasant Sunday Afternoon Viewing

[bbrebozo · 7/10 · 19 March 2015]

With this version of Don't Drink The Water, you get Jackie Gleason (who throws 100% of himself into his character), as well as a script that occasionally sparkles with witty Woody Allen one liners. Add Estelle Parsons as the always-calm-in-the-presence-of-a-hysterical-husband wife, and Ted Bessell in his trademarked 1970's bumbler role, and you've got a pretty nice weekend afternoon of entertainment.

I was particularly intrigued by Joan Delaney as the couple's beautiful daughter and Ted Bessell's love interest. She had a very interesting face, nice appearance and style, and did a good job of maintaining her own presence opposite some of the great scene stealers of that era (Gleason, Parsons, Michael Constantine, Avery Schrieber). I've tried to do a little "whatever-happened-to" search on the internet, but Delaney seemed to have disappeared from the acting scene without a trace after the early 1970's. That's a shame.

In any event, I'm a big Jackie Gleason and Woody Allen fan, and this movie seems to be the closest they ever came to teaming up (although there is little evidence that Woody Allen had anything to do with this film beyond having written the script for the Broadway play). Their participation pushed this movie up to the seven-star range for me.

If you can make it past the headache inducing credits, you will find some amusement in it.

[mark.waltz · 6/10 · 3 May 2013]

If you can get past the credits without feeling yourself going blind, you may want to pull out sunglasses for the sight of Jackie Gleason in a very loud black and white striped jacket with a colorful scarf that looks like something more out of "Boys in the Band" than something that Ralph Kramden would wear. But this certainly isn't as bizarre as some of the things he was forced to wear in Otto Preminger's disastrous "Skidoo" (made the same year) and in place of Carol Channing as his spouse, he gets Estelle Parsons, not screaming here as she did in her Oscar Winning role as Blanche in "Bonnie and Clyde", but spoofing the perfect wife and mother, overly cheerful at every moment, as they prepare to take off from Newark Airport to head to Europe for a nice family vacation. Of course, this was during a whole series of planes being hijacked, so no sooner are they sitting on the plane (grabbing a nut out of a tray passing by) than the plane lands in Vulgaria, that fictional European country first visited in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", and now obviously under a communist regime. Taking this chance to get off the plane for home movies, Gleason, Parsons and their daughter (Joan Delaney) are chased by machine gun carrying military and end up in the American Embassy, protected by none other than "That Girl's" Ted Bessell and accused of being spies. As they wait for their accusers to learn the truth, Gleason insults world leaders, Parsons waxes the entire mansion's floor, and a romance ensues between Delaney and Bessell. When the opportunity arises for these unfortunate out of towner's to return to the quite life of Newark, New Jersey, it still isn't easy, and like the Griswalds of the "National Lampoon's Vacation" series and Sandy Dennis and Jack Lemmon of "The Out of Towners", the results are dangerously wacky to say the least.

This Woody Allen play was a huge hit on Broadway, and its movie version uses every odd late 1960's cliché for its structure. However, while Allen wrote the screenplay, he didn't direct it, that job being given to T.V. veteran Howard Morris who gives it a rather strange pacing, sometimes frenetic and sometimes too frantic to catch everything going on. Gleason, though, milks every laugh for what its worth, particularly in a scene where he finds him holding onto an obvious bomb. Parsons manages to be funny with her eternal smile, good nature and dim-witted reactions to everything going on, never once giving any indication that she fears her life might actually be in danger. Some really funny character performances help this along, particularly Richard Libertini who could always take the most generic line and turn into something hysterical. Not a perfect comedy (and certainly extremely dated), it still gives an interesting look back to a time in film history where traveling the globe really proved that it was indeed a mod, mod world.

Average comedy with some bright spots

[TheLittleSongbird · 5/10 · 21 August 2014]

Seeing as Woody Allen was the credited writer and there was a talented director and cast involved, Don't Drink the Water had much potential. But while it is nowhere near as bad as some have said it could have been much better. It does have a fair few bright spots. It is not a bad-looking film, even if very 60s, the fashions are lovely to look at and give a real sense of nostalgia. Jackie Gleason does his absolute best but while he can be a little too abrasive he is very amusing. Richard Libertini also looks as if he's having fun, making his dialogue funnier than they deserved to be, and Michael Constantine gives very skilled support. There are a few good gags and pieces of dialogue, like Gleason and Constantine's confrontation, the spontaneous riot against the US embassy, "do you think it was a place that sold, guns, guards and barbed wire?" and the ahead of its time "that's the state department for you". Estelle Parssons is a mixed bag, she has moments where she's charming and her chemistry with Gleason is reasonably good but I do agree actually that she does come across as too much of an airhead. Ted Bussell is little more than a charmless dunce and the rest of the cast have nothing to do and can't do anything to make them shine. The film also feels very pedestrian, with a ridiculously overlong introduction, a story that can drag and be bloated and has some slack editing that really hurts the timing of most of the gags. The script has moments but for Allen, due to how much is changed, it lacks the sharpness, bite and wit that you associate with Allen to the extent it didn't sound like Allen's writing. It also didn't feel farcical enough, there was need of more energy, the humour was uneven and it could be too serious and not broad enough. The music sounded tacky and forgettable and really dated the film. All in all, there are some bright spots and there's much worse out there but Don't Drink the Water to me was rather average. 5/10 Bethany Cox

likable

[Ajtlawyer · 4 June 2002]

I thought this version was better than the one made in 1994 by Woody Allen, the show's writer. Jackie Gleason is the entire movie and he has some hilarious bits as a caterer from New Jersey suspected for being a spy behind the Iron Curtain in "Vulgaria." Everyone around him is quirky, crazy or incompetent and Gleason fills up the screen (literally!) with slow burns, explosions and sarcasm. His Walter Hollander is a far more formidable character than Woody Allen's take on the role.

I also enjoyed Ted Bessel ("Donald" from "That Girl") as the bumbling embassy attache', Axel McGee--the only man in the Foreign Service to be hanged in effigy by the staff of his own embassy.

I was surprised years later to find that this movie was directed by Howard Morris who was "Ernest T. Bass" on the "Andy Griffith Show."

UNBELIEVABLY BAD

[KatMiss · 2/10 · 10 August 2001]

"Don't Drink the Water" is an unbelievably bad film. It's based on a 1966 Broadway play by Woody Allen. It stars Jackie Gleason, the comic genius behind "The Honeymooners". The director, Howard Morris, has appeared in several Mel Brooks comedies (Life Stinks, High Anxiety, Silent Movie)and has made a mark in animation (characters he has voiced include Gopher from "Pooh", Jughead (Archie)and Beetle Bailey) What went wrong?

I think the problem is that the premise is played out too seriously to work effectively. Allen's original play was tongue-in-cheek, which is why it worked on Broadway and in Allen's 1994 remake. The screenplay by R.S. Allen and Harvey Bullock beats the premise to death and makes too many changes from the original play. Making Gleason's wife an airhead in this version when she was a headstrong woman in the original is just one example of why this doesn't work.

The acting isn't much better. Gleason does the best he can with the material, but he can't save this. Gleason was a comic genius , but also a fine actor as he demonstrated in "The Hustler" and "Soldier in the Rain". His abrasive personality could have worked here, but the lousy script doesn't even give him a chance. Too bad. Estelle Parsons' airhead wife will drive you nuts after 20 minutes. See how soon it'll take for YOU to want to strangle her. That is also a shame because she is also a fine actress, having turned in two exceptional performances in "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Rachel, Rachel" None of the other actors do particularly well either.

Woody Allen hated this film so much that he remade the film in 1994 with himself and Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson) in the leads. They manage to hit all the right notes and the film itself is a comic masterpiece. It's finally on video after a long battle over rights. Do go out and find that version. All the 1969 original is good for is clearing out unwanted guests who overstay their welcome.

1/2* out of 4 stars

first film version - This is Jackie Gleason version

[ksf-2 · 7/10 · 6 June 2007]

Comedic story of Americans traveling in foreign countries, and the mis-adventures they run into along the way. Unlike most other writers here, I like the 1969 Jackie Gleason version of Don't Drink the Water MUCH better than the later one starring Woody Allen, who WROTE the thing originally. In the original, the irony is that Jackie Gleason is a big and blustery loudmouth ( a real stretch for him) , but up until the end, not much gets accomplished, in spite of all his yelling and storming around. Also stars Estelle Parsons (Bonnie and Clyde) and Ted Bessell (probably best known as the hen-pecked boyfriend on That Girl). When the diplomat leaves the country, his son Axel (Bessel) fills in, and things take turn after turn for the worse. The debate to remake movies or Not to remake movies continues. Directed by Howard Morris, who had directed both live action and animated comedies for years.

Average, not thrilling or remarkable.

[Captain_Couth · 2/10 · 25 November 2003]

Don't Drink the Water (1969) was based upon a play by Woody Allen. I saw this film on the idiot box a few years back. I wasn't that impressed with the movie. Basically it's a Jackie Gleeson movie, you have the honor of watching him mug in front of the camera doing those unamusing eye tricks, blinks and boggles. On the other hand it wasn't dreadful or ghastly. Just your average comedy from that time period. Woody Allen remade the film several years ago for the tiny screen. I never had the chance to watch it. Oh well. It has to be better than the first film adaptation. I recalled an interview with Woody Allen, the interviewer asked him what was his impression of the film. He said something to the effect that at least they paid him. My thoughts exactly.

C

Great Cast but Weak Script!

[Sylviastel · 7/10 · 1 December 2012]

Estelle Parsons and Jackie Gleason are perfect together as a Jewish couple from Newark, New Jersey who are going to travel to Europe together with their adult daughter, Susan. Somehow, the trip is more of a disaster where they are considered by Vulgarians to be American spies or infidels. Nothing could be further from the truth. Despite Woody Allen's script, the movie never really flows or develops to it's potential. Despite the premise, you can't help but enjoy the sparring nature of Parsons and Gleason on screen as a middle aged couple. Gleason is a Kosher caterer from New Jersey and she's his housewife. The time spent in Vulgaria is at the American embassy during the cold war in Eastern Europe. Despite some good laughs, the film could have been better with this cast of characters. I enjoyed Parsons and Gleason together.

Don't Expect Too Much.

[rmax304823 · 5/10 · 12 March 2015]

I realize Woody Allen wrote the play and the screenplay and I enjoy the outrageous nonsense of the comedies that were about to follow, but this one doesn't come off as much more than a routine family comedy of a sort that was common at the time -- "Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation," "Take Her She's Mine," "Yours, Mine, and Ours," "Dear Brigitte." Others are more successful than this one.

Jackie Gleason is a caterer from Newark, New Jersey, who, along with this wife, Estelle Parsons, and his daughter, the slinky Joan Delaney, is trapped inside the American Embassy in Vulgaria because they are suspected of being spies.

There are some smiles but not too many. The acting ambassador, smitten by Delaney, begins to leave the room and stumbles onto a desk. (Gag.) The lines aren't as clever or witty as Allen's lines would be a few years later. Sheik to Gleason: "I am a man of few words." Gleason: "I'm a man of few words too -- drop dead." It looks a little like a weak imitation of Neil Simon. By the way, I've always wondered if Neil Simon and George F. Will were one and the same person. No? Have you ever seen both of them in the same room at the same time? Thought not.

Now, I hate to say this but it's at heart a Jewish movie that yearns to come out of the closet. The funniest lines are those given to Gleason at the beginning when he's trying to lay out the catering schedule for his partner -- the centerpiece for the Navy officer's party will be a boat made of sausages sailing on a sea of chopped liver, etc.

Gleason doesn't do it too well. It's not that he's Irish; it's that he brings his angry persona from the Honeymooners back to live. His irony is never understated. It's always threatening. But the role itself lacks humor to such an extent that maybe Walter Matthau couldn't breathe life into it.

I didn't find it insulting, just disappointing, uninspired, and ultimately dull.

Jackie Gleason and Estelle Parsons are hijacked

[blanche-2 · 6/10 · 31 May 2015]

I saw the version starring Woody Allen and feel it is far superior to this film. The play was a hit on Broadway and starred Lou Jacobi.

Allen wasn't a big name when this film was made, so he didn't direct the film and the studio did what they wanted with it.

It's the story of a successful caterer, Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason) and his family, wife Marion and daughter Susan (Estelle Parsons and Joan Delaney) who are on vacation. Walter had wanted to go to Miami, but Marion wanted a tour of Europe. So they went to London, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. On their way to Athens, their plane is hijacked.

They land in a Communist country, Vulgaria, and are taking photos when they Vulgarians go after them, thinking they are spies. The American Embassy saves them and protects them. They can't leave until their travel is arranged.

Their fate is in the hands of a bumbler, Axel (Ted Bessell), the son of the Ambassador. He makes mistake after mistake and his negotiations with the big shot on the other side, Krojack (Michael Constantine) don't go well. Meanwhile the Hollanders are trying to figure out how to escape and go home.

This is a funny and entertaining film, but Allen's version is laugh out loud hilarious, and Allen is a scream. The funniest scene here for me was when Walter is burned in effigy, and they dress the mannequin in clothes identical to Walter's - very loud and very funny.

Gleason is way out there in the role, very Ralph Kramden, and Parsons as his cheerful wife is very good and looks great - I know her only as an elderly woman, but she's always been a terrific actress. Bessell is excellent as well as a sincere goof-up.

Good but not great. See the Allen version, which was done as a TV movie.

A dud film with a subject that won't play well today

[SimonJack · 3/10 · 11 March 2016]

Before this movie came out in 1969, there had been only three attacks on U.S. embassies and consulates in nearly 200 years. One was recent – the Jan. 31, 1969, Viet Cong attack of the U.S. Embassy during the Tet Offensive in Viet Nam. Over the next 46 years (through 2015), there were 38 assaults on American diplomatic posts. That averages almost one attack every year. It's not very likely that a humorous treatment of this subject or anything closely related to terrorism today would go over with audiences anywhere.

But, in 1969, a humorous treatment of Americans in an Iron Curtain country and bungling Foreign Service employees could have been a big hit. So, the plot for "Don't Drink the Water" was a good one. But, that's all that can be said good about this movie. The screenplay is terrible, and the camera work, directing and editing are horrible.

While Jackie Gleason was known mostly as a comedy entertainer, he could act. He proved that in two dramatic roles for which he received an Oscar and two Golden Globe nominations. But, as Walter Hollander in this film, he's quite awful. The only person who is any good at all is Estelle Parsons as his wife, Marion.

For a comedy, I'm surprised at the lack of spontaneity among all of the cast. Michael Constantine's role as Commissar Krojack had great possibility. But, the best he could do was overact and ham it up as though forcing it. The supporting cast needed to take lessons from some of the greats of the past who could get laughter out of the most ridiculous of roles. Actors such as Sig Ruman, S.Z. Sakall, and Felix Bressart.

I'm sure that Woody Allen's play, on which this movie was based, was much better done on stage and received by audiences then. But this film just isn't worth the time or the cost. I haven't seen Allen's remake of 1994 for TV, but it's clear that many more fans found it better than this dud. Still, its rating in early 2016 is only 6.3 on IMDb. That's again most likely due to a public sense that there's not a whole lot of humor attached to the growing number of attacks on Americans serving abroad. Or on anyone in service from any nation.

Good Fun And Laughs!!

[randalljoe · 8/10 · 26 May 2002]

Gleason shines in this cold-war comedy.Gleason and his family are mistaken for spys in a communist style country and chased into an American embassy.The Laughs are often and the cast excels,especially Gleason,"Krojack" and "Father Drobney".The movie is hardly a masterpiece but if your in the right frame of mind its Hilarious!

It's much better than the later remake with Woody Allen which was harsh,cynical and forced.And produced much less laughs also.

Its just Good Clean Fun!

**1/2

[edwagreen · 6/10 · 19 March 2015]

The film starts off well with the couple and their daughter seeking asylum in the American Consul of Vulgaria. How they got into that situation is very funny at that.

Gleason is good as the loud mouth caterer and he is equally matched by Estelle Parsons, who shows she is adept at comedy as well as her previous fine dramatic Oscar acting. She comes across as the typical American homemaking yenta with a passion for cleaning. Right away, she starts cleaning throughout the mansion.

The picture takes hold when at the end, it is realized that both governments are punishing the Hollanders for their mistakes. At that point, the film goes downhill as the Hollanders plot their escape. The end itself is sort of foolish.

Don't see the movie

[JasparLamarCrabb · 1/10 · 21 March 2015]

Wow is this bad. New Jersey caterer Jackie Gleason and wife Estelle Parsons, along with their daughter, have their plan hijacked & get caught behind the Iron Curtain in the country of Vulgaria. Coming to their aid is nincompoop junior attaché Ted Bessell as the family tries to outwit commie hardliner Michael Constantine. Directed without a shred of style by TV-funny-man Howard Morris, this film, based on the hit Broadway play by Woody Allen, is almost completely devoid of any laughs. It's a curiosity from a bygone era that has not aged well at all. Gleason is stranded here, barking at everyone and acting like a boob, while Parsons, ever the ham, mines humor by over sharing ("meet my daughter, she was a cesarean") and by barking back at Gleason. Joan Delaney plays the couple's unusually level- headed daughter and character actors like Howard St. John, Avery Schreiber and Richard Libertini offer up brief bits. A dreadful movie.

No worse than a bad cold

[horrorfilmx · 12 November 2009]

I have to side with those who find this version of Woody Allen's play much inferior to the remake by Allen himself which, ironically, has a greater right to be called the original since it was Allen's attempt to show the story as he envisioned it. I think much of the problem lies in the fact that at the time this version was made Allen wasn't yet a respected director and no one worried much about preserving the "Woody Allen touch" --- except Woody Allen, of course.

Interesting note on the comparison between Jackie Gleason's take on the lead character with Allen's own portrayal years later. If you were to combine the physical bellicosity of Jackie Gleason with the sardonic Jewish humor of Woody Allen you might get someone like the recently deceased Lou Jacobi --- who originated the part on Broadway and who was, in Allen's opinion, largely responsible for the success of the play.

(By the way, I stole the line in my summary from Harpo Marx, who used it to describe the phenomenally successful Broadway production of ABIE'S IRISH ROSE.)

terribly annoying family

[SnoopyStyle · 2/10 · 13 March 2015]

Caterer Walter (Jackie Gleason) and wife Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons) are on their European vacation with their teenage daughter Susan. Their plane is hijacked and forced to land in Vulgaria. The family decides to sightsee behind the Iron Curtains. The local authorities chase the family into a US Embassy limo. Axel Magee is the incompetent son of an ambitious politician and the acting ambassador. He takes the family back to the American Embassy. Commissar Krojack (Michael Constantine) intends to get the supposed spies.

This family is the worst example of the ugly Americans. It was probably funnier with an audience who grew up with Jackie Gleason. It would be better if Marion isn't a complete idiot. Two idiots don't always make for a funny couple. One smart one would be a great foil for the other. I just found everybody terribly stupid and insufferably annoying. I really hate this family and by extension, I hate this movie.

Another visit to "Vulgaria" courtesy of Woody Allan

[theowinthrop · 8/10 · 17 March 2007]

Woody Allan wrote DON'T DRINK THE WATER in the late 1960s, and it had a nice run on Broadway. It became the first of his plays to make it to the big screen, though the second (PLAY IT AGAIN SAM) was a better work. A later tragic-comic piece, THE FLOATING LIGHT BULB, has not made it as yet.

The story is set in the mythical Eastern European country of "Vulgaria". This is not the only film set in this land. The musical CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG was also set in "Vulgaria", when it was a pre-World War I principality run by Gert Frobe. History swept little "Vulgaria" up with it's neighbors. In the late 1960s it is a communist state.

A plane is hijacked to Vulgaria by a lone gunman, fleeing impending arrest after a Vulgarian spy known as "the Grey Fox" was arrested in the U.S. On the plane is the Hollander family from Newark, New Jersey: Walter (Jackie Gleason), his wife Marion (Estelle Parsons) and their daughter Susan (Joan Delaney). Walter is a very successful caterer, who really wanted to take his annual vacation in Miami, but was talked (much against his will) by Marion into a European trip to London, Paris, Barcelona, Rome, and Athens. It was to Athens that their plane was headed when hijacked.

Parsons is the enthusiast in the couple, and when she hears that the passengers can stretch their legs outside the plane for about twenty minutes, she pushes a dubious Walter to take photos of the guards surrounding the plane, and of the surrounding buildings of the airport. Unfortunately, Walter has noted that there is barbed wire in the areas that Marion suggests he photographed, and figures it must be restricted. But the local secret police man Krojack (Michael Constantine), sees Walter taking movies, jumps to the conclusion that Walter is a spy and orders his men to arrest the Hollanders. Fortunately for the Hollanders just before they had their adventure the American Ambassador McGee (Howard St. John) left for a conference in Washington. His son Axel (Ted Bessell) had driven him to the airport, and is on hand with the embassy's limousine to drive the Hollanders to the sanctuary of the embassy.

The play follows the topsy turvy situation the Hollanders find themselves in, worsened by the well-intentioned, but somewhat stupid, Axel. Axel, confronting Krojack, makes a common-sensical comment that both countries are always spying on each other. Yes, it's common-sensical, but it is something no diplomat every mouths, and Krojack tape records the message to use when later talking with Ambassador McGee.

Axel and Susan soon are falling in love, which does not meet with the approval of Walter. Nor is Walter (who has to get back for a special catering job in four days) happy to hear that the other political refugee in the embassy, Father Drobney (Richard Libertini) has been there for six years! Nor is Walter really thrilled that Drobney has picked up a new hobby - he's a magician now.

There are nice touches in the film, jabbing at both sides. Krojack is talking to Ambassador Magee on the phone, when one of his assistants asks to know how the Stock Market did (he has some mutual shares). Krojack puts down the phone and orders someone to break the idiot's legs (this is, after all, a communist "paradise"). Later it is the Americans who get the jab: the Ambassador is ferociously looking for a way of winning a governorship at home, and is willing to sell out anyone he can to get it.

A good cast is aided by the director, Howard Morris (WHO'S MINDING THE MINT?) and turns out a better than average comedy. Not as good as most of Woody's later films, but it was a promising start.