Columbo (TV Series)

Murder by the Book (1971)

Martin Milner: Jim Ferris

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Jim works in his office] 

  Jim Ferris : [knock on the door]  Who is it?

  [another knock on the door] 

  Jim Ferris : [He opens the door - Ken is aiming a gun at his face. Jim laughs] 

  Ken Franklin : Oh, you're not intimidated.

  Jim Ferris : Oh, come on, Ken. You're forgetting that I'm one-half of the world's greatest mystery-writing team? You, ah, don't have gloves on, your finger's not on the trigger, and there are no bullets in the cylinder.

  Ken Franklin : [smiling]  You're right. I'm a lousy practical joker.

• Jim Ferris : Did you ever get a feeling of déjà vu?

• Jim Ferris : Do you ever get the feeling of deja vu?

  Ken Franklin : What?

  Jim Ferris : Like you've done something before, but you know you haven't?

  Ken Franklin : Why? What do you mean?

  Jim Ferris : I'm getting it right now. It's strange. You know, I've never been here before.

  Ken Franklin : Maybe in a previous incarnation, huh?

• Ken Franklin : You're not intimidated?

  Jim Ferris : Come on, Ken. Are you forgetting that... I'm one half of the world's greatest mystery writing team. You don't have gloves on. Your finger's not on the trigger and there are no bullets in the cylinder.

• Ken Franklin : Bottoms up, Jim.

  Jim Ferris : In the middle of the morning?

  Ken Franklin : Oh, come on, relax. It's Saturday. In the mystery writer's soul, it is always the middle of the night.

• Ken Franklin : I give you... our divorce.

  Jim Ferris : Well... it's not really a divorce.

  Ken Franklin : Oh, sure it is. Come on, let's be honest. I mean, it... it's no alimony but it's a termination. Oh yes, and our dear little children. All fifteen of them. Fifty million copies.

• Jim Ferris : Yeah... I just hate lying to her.

  Ken Franklin : You're not lying to her. You're saving her a little anguish.