In René Cardona Jr.'s book, if you hire a helicopter for your movie, you absolutely must get your money's worth, which is why Night of 1000 Cats is crammed full of shots of millionaire playboy Hugo (Hugo Stiglitz) flying over sunny Acapulco. Hugo uses the 'copter (clearly the most affordable one in Cardona's rental catalogue) as a means of attracting hot women, buzzing them as they try to relax, giving them the Stiglitz stare until they succumb to his charms. At no point do they call the police to report a creepy stalker in the sky, such is his way with women.
Having successfully impressed a member of the fairer sex with his chopper (ooo-err!), Hugo whisks them back to his dilapidated ancestral monastery where he wines and dines them (speciality of the house: an unidentifiable chunk of meat, as prepared by Hugo's mute, bald butler Dorgo), before showing them his collection of severed heads in jars, at which point he illustrates why it's never a good idea to accept an invitation from a stranger in a helicopter. Choking his victim to death, Hugo takes their head as a trophy and feeds the remains to his clowder of cats (thanks, Google!), or into his incinerator.
Hugo's macabre hobby hits a brick wall, however, when he tries to add a yummy mummy to his collection: stage one—luring her away from her family—goes without a hitch, the woman happy to cheat on her husband and abandon her child for a romp with the Stiglitz. However, before Hugo can claim his prize, he is interrupted by a passing doctor looking for help. As he tries to shoo the meddling medic away, his milf has a pang of conscience and rushes home to her daughter. The doctor pays for his interference with his head!
Not one to give up, Hugo goes after the woman again, but underestimates his victim, who fights back after seeing his collection (which now includes Dorgo's head, killed for having the temerity to beat his master at chess!). Launching a spear at Hugo, the woman accidentally frees his flesh-eating moggies, who turn on their owner, mauling him to death.
While some reviewers have criticised Night of 1000 Cats for it's excessive use of helicopter footage, I find such silliness quite endearing, adding to the film's overall trashy nature. The schlock level is taken to even greater heights by the ridiculous plot, Stiglitz's one-note performance, a shocking disregard for the well-being of its animals (one poor kitty is launched through the air like a discus while another is given a dunking in a pool), some hilarious dialogue (funniest moment: Hugo trying to convince one victim that the heads are made of wax, as though that's a perfectly normal alternative to keeping real heads in jars), and just a little titillation, including a woman with nipples you could hang your coat on (played by Christa Linder), and another (Tere Velázquez) who, thanks to Cardona's low camera angle, reveals herself to be going commando.
N.B. This review is for the readily available 63 minute version of the film, which gets a rating of 6.5/10 from me (rounded up to 7 for IMDb). As far as the longer 93 minute version is concerned, I'm guessing that the extra half an hour is either more sex and gore (in which case it probably deserves a slightly higher rating), or another half an hour of Hugo in his whirlybird (in which case I would go slightly lower).
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