Pink Flamingos (1972)
Divine: Divine, Babs Johnson
Photos
Quotes
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Babs Johnson : Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!
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Babs Johnson : Oh my God Almighty! Someone has sent me a bowel movement!
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Miss Edie : Babs, where do eggs come from?
Babs Johnson : From little chickens, Mama. They lay them, and we eat them.
Miss Edie : But suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Would that mean there wouldn't be any eggs?
Babs Johnson : Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that, Mama.
Miss Edie : But... but is it true, Babs? lf there weren't any chickens, there wouldn't be any eggs? Is that true?
Babs Johnson : I suppose so, Mama... but there will always be chickens. You can be sure of that.
Miss Edie : But suppose someday it happens. Suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Oh, Babs, what could I possibly do? And then the eggman wouldn't have... he wouldn't have a job. It might happen, Babs. What could I do?
Babs Johnson : Now, Mama, that's just egg paranoia. I think you're being very silly. There will always be chickens. Why, there are so many chickens now... that we can eat some and let some of them live... in order to supply us with eggs. Chickens are plentiful, Mama. The world will never be without chickens. You can be sure of that.
Miss Edie : Oh, Babs... IT COULD HAPPEN! IT COULD HAPPEN!
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Divine : Connie Marble, you stand convicted of assholeism! Your proper punishment will now take place. Look pretty for the picture, Connie!
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Babs Johnson : Oh my God, what a horrible photograph. My first wanted poster and I look just awful.
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Crackers : A turd, Mama, a turd!
Cotton : Who could've sent this?
Miss Edie : Ahhh. A turd? Oh, a turd! Oh, Babs!
Babs Johnson : This is a direct attack on my divinity!
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[Babs comes out of her trailer after a mailman knocks on the door]
Babs Johnson : Yes?
Delivery Boy : Miss. Babs Johnson?
Babs Johnson : Yes, I am Babs Johnson.
Delivery Boy : Special delivery package, ma'am. Sign here, please.
Babs Johnson : What do you *mean*, special delivery package? There's no address here!
Delivery Boy : Says right here, "Babs Johnson, A Trailer, Phoenix, Maryland". And you're Babs Johnson, aren't you?
Babs Johnson : Of course I'm Babs Johnson; I *just* told you that! But there is *no* address here! This is not on any road, route, or street! And I *don't* want people on my property! So don't *ever* bring mail here again, do you understand? And the next package you bring me is getting shoved right up your little ass, can you comprehend that?
Delivery Boy : I understand, I comprehend, I understand.
Babs Johnson : Now you've received some new training, as you call it, and you'd better remember it! So you have exactly fifteen seconds to get off of my property, motherfucker, before I break your goddamn neck! One, one-thousand, *two*, one-thousand...
[the mailman starts to run away]
Babs Johnson : ...*three*, one-thousand, *four*, one-thousand! Run, you bastard, run!
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[the family ponders who could have sent Babs an obscene parcel]
Edie, the Egg Lady : The Egg Man didn't do it, Babs! I KNOW the Egg Man didn't do it!
Babs Johnson : Oh, I don't think he did it either, mother, now shut up and let me think, WILL YOU?
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Divine : I'm afraid our little vacation must come to an end. This must be nipped in the bud. It's already out of hand. Now we must outfilth the asshole or assholes that sent this. And then they must die!
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Divine : This is where they eat, Crackers.
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Babs Johnson : Give me more questions!
Nat Curzan from "The Tattler" : Divine, are you a lesbian?
Babs Johnson : Yes! I have done everything!
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Cotton : Let's move to Boise, I always wanted to go there!
Babs Johnson : Boise, Cotton? Why, that might not be a bad place!
Crackers : Were you ever there?
Cotton : Only once, we robbed a transit bus there, remember?
Babs Johnson : I remember, the number 42!
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Babs Johnson : I'll have to change my appearance. I think I'll dye my hair another color and start dressing like a dyke.
Cotton : Me too! I'll get a crew cut.
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Babs Johnson : Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Crackers : Sure mama, I wouldn't shit ya.
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Babs Johnson : I'm all dressed up and ready to fall in love!
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Cotton : [Babs serves her family a steak she has shoplifted from the market by concealing under her dress between her legs] Mmmm, Babs, smells delicious!
Babs Johnson : Thanks, Cotton, it should. I warmed it up downtown today, in my own little oven.
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Divine : Connie and Raymond Marble, you have breathed your last breath. You have sighed your last sigh. You are no longer alive.
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Mr Goldstein : Is there no wrong?
Divine : There is right and there is wrong. I have never been wrong Mr Goldstein!
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Babs Johnson : Just say a little prayer that *I* find a little something. Why, I haven't fallen in love for three whole days. I'm just *itchin'* to find somebody with a little imagination.
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Babs Johnson : l'll be out in a minute, honey.
Crackers : Okay, Ma, but get the lead out of your ass.
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Babs Johnson : You shouldn't have too much trouble with your date - that is, if she has anything on the ball. Just hope she likes to experiment - you know what I mean? A little sweet talking goes a *long*, long way.
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Babs Johnson : [singing] Round, round, round I go, Down, down, down I go, In that spin, that fabulous spin that I'm in...
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Crackers : Their bedroom. Their fuck chamber itself.
Babs Johnson : This is where they mate, Crackers right here on this very bed. This is where they touch their uninspired little organs together vainly trying to recharge their worn-out battery of filthiness thrashing and moaning in the still of the night.
Crackers : What kind of shit turns them on, Mama? What do they do in here?
Babs Johnson : Oh, all sorts of disgusting positions I would imagine, Crackers. Connie probably takes Raymond's little peanut of a cock between her brittle, chapped lips and then scrapes her ugly, decayed teeth up and down on it while asshole Raymond thinks he's getting the best head on the East Coast. Then they probably sit here and stare at each other's blue and red hair while they goose each other and say dirty words.
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Babs Johnson : And you're going to pay royally, bitch! Let this be a lesson to you just in case there is reincarnation. It's virtually impossible to be filthier than Divine! I didn't get my reputation for nothing, you know.
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Babs Johnson : I will be *queen* one day and my coronation will be celebrated *all* over the world. Do not forget: I am Divine!
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Babs Johnson : We can't keep the photographers waiting and we're going to give them a story that will knock the "Newsday" right off its fucking boring little ass!
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Babs Johnson : Let the good people of this country know that they cannot *fuck* with Divine and get away with it. Let them know that we are indeed the filthiest people alive.
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Babs Johnson : These two people must be humiliated in front of the media. Use these pictures, gentlemen, and use them wisely.
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Babs Johnson : You stand convicted of asshole-ism.
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Divine : I didn't invite you here to jerk off, you know.
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Babs Johnson : It does more than turn me on, Mr. Vader. In makes me cum.
