Black Christmas (1974)

Doug McGrath: Sergeant Nash

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Quotes 

• Sergeant Nash : [Jess has managed to keep the caller on the line for almost a full two minutes, allowing the phone company to trace the call]  Uh, Lt. Fuller?

  Lt. Fuller : Yeah, Nash, what is it?

  Sergeant Nash : The phone company's on the other line, sir. They say they got a trace on this one.

  Lt. Fuller : Yeah, let's have it!

  Sergeant Nash : He says the calls are coming from #6 Belmont Street.

  Lt. Fuller : For Christ's sakes, Nash, you got it wrong. That's where the calls are going into.

  Sergeant Nash : That's where they're coming from too, sir.

  Lt. Fuller : [pause]  Oh, shit...

• Lt. Fuller : [hands Nash a form]  What's this?

  Sergeant Nash : Oh, that's the number of the sorority house.

  Lt. Fuller : Fellatio?

  Sergeant Nash : Yeah, it's a new exchange: FE.

  Lt. Fuller : [suppressing a laugh]  A new exchange?

  Sergeant Nash : Yeah, Fellatio. One of the girls that was in this afternoon gave it to me.

  Lt. Fuller : [sarcastically]  She gave it to you?

  Sergeant Nash : Yeah.

  Lt. Fuller : Nash, I don't think you could pick your nose without written instructions.

  [takes the form and walks back to his desk] 

  Sergeant Nash : [thinks for a moment]  I know. It's something dirty, ain't it?

• Sergeant Nash : [after Sergeant Nash calls the sorority house]  Who is this?

  Jess : It's Jess.

  Sergeant Nash : Ah, Ms. Bradford, eh, this is Sergeant Nash. Are you the only one in the house?

  Jess : No. Phyl and Barb are upstairs asleep. Why?

  Sergeant Nash : All right. Now, I want you to do exactly what I tell you without asking any questions, okay?

  [Jess tries to ask something] 

  Sergeant Nash : No, no, no... no questions. Now, just put the phone back on the hook, walk to the front door and leave the house.

  Jess : What's wrong?

  Sergeant Nash : Please, Ms. Bradford, please just do as I tell you.

  Jess : Okay. I'll get Phyl and Barb.

  Sergeant Nash : No, no, no! Don't do that, Jess... Jess, the caller is in the house. The calls are coming from the house!

• Sergeant Nash : Excuse me? Could you give me the number at the sorority house? Please?

  Barb : Yeah, sure. It's, ah... Fellatio 20880. Fellatio. It's a new exchange, FE.

  Sergeant Nash : That's a new one on me. How do you spell it?

  Barb : Capital F, E, little L, L-A, T-I-O.

  Sergeant Nash : Thanks.

  Barb : Don't mention it.

• Sergeant Nash : Bernie? Call the doc.

  Farmer : I'm not letting no son of a bitch trespass on my land in the middle of the night! I don't care what kind of a uniform he has!

  Lt. Fuller : What the hell's going on here?

  Cop #1 : He fired on a police officer.

  Farmer : You goddamn right! I'll do it again, too. The bastard was tresspassing!

  Sergeant Nash : Hogan got an ass full of birdshot.

  Cop #2 : Yeah, I'm gonna make the son of a bitch pick every one of 'em out with his teeth.

  Farmer : The next time you're gonna get the gun up your ass! Sideways!