The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (1976–1979)
John Barron: C.J., F.J.
Photos
Quotes
-
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by thinking.
-
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today selling ice creams tasting of bookends, pumice stone, and West Germany.
-
C.J. : Every silver lining has a cloud.
-
C.J. : One, two, three, four - make 'em wait outside the door. Five, six, seven, eight - always pays to make 'em wait. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve - come!
-
[C.J. angrily bursts into the commune's main room after an unfortunate babysitting incident]
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by having green frogs thrust down my crotch.
-
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by biting people in the changing room.
-
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by wearing underpants decorated with Beethoven.
-
C.J. : The computer has processed the results of the smelling.
Reginald Perrin : Ah!
C.J. : Exactly. As you so rightly say "Ah!" This is what smell number one reminded its smellers of: five people - mountains, four people - snow, three people - fresh water, two people - large forest, one person - Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap!
Reginald Perrin : This is extraordinary, C.J.!
C.J. : Smell number two: nine people - herbs, one each for: lavender, thyme, marjoram, spice factory, heather and Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap!
Reginald Perrin : This is astonishing, C.J.!
C.J. : Smell number three, and a greater degree of unanimity: fourteen people - roses. But!
Reginald Perrin : But!
C.J. : One person - Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap!
Reginald Perrin : I can hardly credit this, C.J.
C.J. : It's the same sorry story for all ten smells.
Reginald Perrin : Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by everything smelling of Bolivian unicyclist's jockstraps!
-
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by sleeping with sweaty, Caledonian chefs!
-
C.J. : I didn't get where I am today by drinking a liquid that's only been tested on pencils!
-
C.J. : It's the early bird that catches the quick brown fox.
-
C.J. : There's no smoke without the worm turning.
-
C.J. : Absence is better than a cure. Prevention makes the heart grow fonder.
-
C.J. : What the eye doesn't see is goose for the gander.
-
C.J. : But I wonder if you all would like to hear an extract from my novel on - ants!
Elizabeth Perrin : Novel!
Reginald Perrin : Ants!
C.J. : I know what you're going to say...
Perrin's Staff Members : [all speaking together] You didn't get where you are today by writing a novel about ants!
C.J. : Exactly, but it's never too late for a leopard to change horses in mid-stream.
Reginald Perrin : What is your novel called, C.J.?
C.J. : I haven't decided between Watership Anthill, Plague Ants, Lord of the Ants, Ants of the Flies, Charley's Ant or No Sex Please, We're Ants.
Reginald Perrin : Yes, I can see the difficulty, C.J. Tricky choice, tricky choice! It would be too much bother for you to go and get the book.
C.J. : [Pulls manuscript from his pocket] I just happen to have an extract here with me.
Reginald Perrin : Oh, dear.
C.J. : [reading] "The owl led Thrugwash Blunt through the forest and then suddenly without any warning-"
