Nickelodeon (1976)
Ryan O'Neal: Leo Harrigan
Photos
Quotes
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Alice Forsyte : [at a movie premiere] I hear he's changing the title for New York.
Leo Harrigan : Yeah? To what?
Alice Forsyte : "The Birth of a Nation."
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Leo Harrigan : Frank, to be quite frank, I don't know how to do it.
Franklin Frank : Do what?
Leo Harrigan : Direct.
Franklin Frank : You don't?
Leo Harrigan : No.
Franklin Frank : Gee.
Leo Harrigan : Don't just say "gee", I'm a nervous wreck.
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Franklin Frank : It's real simple, you'll have no problem.
Leo Harrigan : I won't?
Franklin Frank : Hell, no, any jerk can direct. Now you see over there? Marty & Kingsley putting on their makeup? Those are the actors.
Leo Harrigan : Thank you very much.
Franklin Frank : Okay, now you see over there? That box on the sticks? John's putting a blanket on it. That's the camera. Now the first thing you do is tell me where to put it.
Leo Harrigan : I'm about to.
Franklin Frank : No - I'm the cameraman.
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Franklin Frank : Okay, then you tell the actors what you want them to do in front of the camera, you tell me to crank it, and when you've had enough you just tell me to cut.
Leo Harrigan : Cut?
Franklin Frank : Then you do the same thing all over again with the next scene, and well, that's it.
Leo Harrigan : That's it?
Franklin Frank : That's it.
Leo Harrigan : That's all D.W. Griffith does?
Franklin Frank : Sure, more or less. They tell me Griffith doesn't say "cut", he says "cease".
Leo Harrigan : Griffith says "cease". Well, I can do that.
Franklin Frank : Then you can direct. Let's go.
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H.H. Cobb : You don't look dangerous enough.
Leo Harrigan : I'm a lawyer, sir.
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H.H. Cobb : Independents, Clancy, pay attention.
Leo Harrigan : Harrigan, sir.
H.H. Cobb : What?
Leo Harrigan : Harrigan, sir. H-A-double R-I-G-A-N. Like the man in the song.
H.H. Cobb : What song?
Leo Harrigan : By George M. Cohen, sir. It's a big hit.
H.H. Cobb : I don't need singers, O'Haleran. This is war!
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H.H. Cobb : Pictures? Moving pictures! Gallopin' tintypes, Muldoon. Haven't you ever been to a Nickelodeon?
Leo Harrigan : Harrigan.
H.H. Cobb : Nickelodeon!
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Franklin Frank : You see over there. That box on the sticks?
Leo Harrigan : Yes.
Franklin Frank : John's putting a blanket over it, right now.
Leo Harrigan : Yes!
Franklin Frank : That's the camera. Well, the first thing you do is tell me where to put it.
Leo Harrigan : I'm about to.
Franklin Frank : No! I'm the cameraman.
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H.H. Cobb : He claims he's another Griffith. Ha! He's another Griffith, all right. Max Griffith the butcher down the block.
Leo Harrigan : Who's Griffith?
H.H. Cobb : What?
Leo Harrigan : I was just wondering.
H.H. Cobb : Who is Griffith? You mean to say that you don't know who David Wark Griffith is? D.W. Griffith!
Leo Harrigan : Well, I think I've heard the name.
H.H. Cobb : You think you've heard? Why, he's only the greatest film director in the world. God damn, him!
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Leo Harrigan : Why don't we have us a snort and see if we can work it out?
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Leo Harrigan : You know, what?
Buck Greenway : What?
Leo Harrigan : I like your looks!
Buck Greenway : You ain't funny, are you?
Leo Harrigan : No. Did you ever think about gettin' in the picture business?
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Leo Harrigan : The story we're doing today is called, "Luke's Revenge." Could you be Luke?
Reginald Kingsley : Excuse me, Mr. Harrigan. I am Reginald Kingsley of the New York stage. I normally play the leading roles. *I* would be Luke.
Leo Harrigan : Oh, yes. Of course.
Reginald Kingsley : What happens to me?
Leo Harrigan : Well, in the first scene, Luke's horse throws him and he gets killed.
Reginald Kingsley : Luke gets killed in the first scene?
Leo Harrigan : That's right.
Reginald Kingsley : Then, I do not play Luke.
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Franklin Frank : All set, boss.
Leo Harrigan : All right, Frank. Crank!
Franklin Frank : Cranking.
Leo Harrigan : We're going to make pictures. I said, we're going to make pictures!
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Buck Greenway : Don't try and sweet talk me, young man.
Leo Harrigan : That is a director's job.
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Leo Harrigan : Miss Cooke.
Kathleen Cooke : Kathleen.
Leo Harrigan : Miss Cooke, are you familiar with Mulligan's Law?
Kathleen Cooke : I don't believe so.
Leo Harrigan : It goes like this, Miss Cooke: It's never too late.
Kathleen Cooke : Oh, Mulligan.
Leo Harrigan : I carry a helluva torch.
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Leo Harrigan : Kiss her. Kiss her, for God's sake!
Buck Greenway : He says I'm supposed to kiss you, ma'am.
Kathleen Cooke : Yes he did.
Buck Greenway : Well, he's a Director.
[kisses Kathleen]
Leo Harrigan : Perfect. Hold it a little longer, Frank. Slow. Iris to black - and cease. Cut!
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Leo Harrigan : Could you ask Alice to be a bridesmaid? We need one and she won't put on the blackface.
Buck Greenway : I don't blame her. They all look ridiculous.
Marty Reeves : [in blackface] Why would you say that.
Leo Harrigan : I can't help it. Cobb will not spend any money on extras. He says burn some cork and black up the crew.
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H.H. Cobb : All right, Harrigan, think fast: two guys in a desert, no food, no water, no horses - what happens to them?
Leo Harrigan : They die.
H.H. Cobb : A comedy.
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Alice Forsyte : What's a matter with me?
Leo Harrigan : I give up. What's the matter with you?
Alice Forsyte : They like little girls in pictures, you know. Look at Mary Pickford.
Leo Harrigan : Mary Pickford is 20 years old.
Alice Forsyte : See! And I'm younger even.
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Alice Forsyte : You were gettin' pretty good, you know.
Leo Harrigan : Yeah, I'm particularly good without a camera, film, or actors.
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Leo Harrigan : Hey, babe. You think you can do that fall again?
Kathleen Cooke : I didn't fall! The horse did.
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Leo Harrigan : I might as well quit. The best damn picture that's ever gonna be made, has already been made.
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H.H. Cobb : The time of the Nickelodeon is over! A new day has dawned. The epoch of the Picture Palace. Big pictures. Big theaters. Six reels. Eight reels. Look at this thing tonight. Fifteen reels!
Alice Forsyte : Twelve.
H.H. Cobb : See what I mean? Of course, I don't want to go that far. Griffith's a genius; but, he is a little crazy.
Leo Harrigan : *He's* a little crazy?
Marty Reeves : He's a little crazy. You said it!
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Buck Greenway : These directors that you work with today, they don't know their left from their right.
Leo Harrigan : Yeah, well, I hear you've been directing yourself; so, that doesn't surprise me.
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Leo Harrigan : Mr. Cobb, you're trying to bribe us.
H.H. Cobb : You can't bribe somebody that doesn't trust you, Irish.