- Melissa: Why do they call you the Duck?
- Rubber Duck: Because it rhymes with "luck." See, my daddy always told me to be just like a duck. Stay smooth on the surface and paddle like the devil underneath!
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: You oughta be shot right where you're standing! So help me if I had a gun, I'd do it myself!
- Rubber Duck: That badge would make it alright, wouldn't it?
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: [On the CB] Breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine. This is the bear in the air, officer Lyle Wallace calling Rubber Jerk in that rattlin' piece of black crap at your side door. Come on!
- Rubber Duck: Please don't be using that kind of language on the air, Lyle. Especially don't be using it regarding my beautiful black truck. Over.
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: That thing you call a truck is the worst pile of garbage I ever had the misfortune of writing a citation on.
- Widow Woman: [kicking her overturned truck in disgust] God damn piece of white junk! I knew I should've bought myself a black truck! Well, come on! Let's haul ass!
- Melissa: But they're all following you.
- Rubber Duck: [looks at Melissa then road] No, they ain't. I'm just in front of them.
- Rubber Duck: Here's the plan: When we get to the pass, we're gonna put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline® an' an extra ration o' rum for the men. That should do it.
- Reverend Sloane: [On the CB] That's a big 10-4. You got the Reverend Joshua Duncan Sloane, Church of the Wayfaring Stranger here. I don't read nothin' in scripture that says thou shall not put the pedal to the metal.
- Rubber Duck: Welcome aboard there, Reverend. We could sure use some spiritual help here. Think you can handle it?
- Reverend Sloane: Oh, it's a pleasure, our pleasure. We're just tryin' to do a good job, Brother Rubber.
- Rubber Duck: [to Melissa] Brother Rubber? What is that guy's name? He ain't no Reverend.
- Melissa: Well I think I've had just about enough of this, thank you very much. I'll think I'll take my things and GET OUT. If you'll pull over to the side, I'm sure I can hitch a ride very easily... Weren't you listening to me? I said I'm ready to get out!
- Rubber Duck: You want out? We're being chased. You want out? Jump.
- Melissa: You want to add the Mann Act to your collection?
- Rubber Duck: Mann Act's for 18 year olds, not someone who's seen the better side of thirty!
- Governer Jerry Haskins: A lonely breed... hard men, proud men... not too proud to cry or shed a tear. The living embodiment of the American cowboy tradition. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to honor this great native American son who gave his life for a cause so vital to us all, like so many great Americans before him had. As you can see, these truckers are going to start passing, paying their respects to their lost comrade, the Rubber Duck, in their Macks, their Jimmies, K-Whoppers, Fruitliners, garbage trucks, dump trucks and even limousines... Truckers all! From the covered wagons and trains to the 18-wheelers that keep this country alive... This controlled individualism made this cause so vital that I promise to take it to Washington and present it to the Senate myself.
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: I am the law. Don't you understand, I represent the law.
- Rubber Duck: Well piss on ya, and piss on your law.
- Rubber Duck: [On meeting Lyle Wallace] Jesus Christ.
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: Hello, R.D.
- Rubber Duck: Boys, this is the Papa Bear.
- Rubber Duck: How much is it, Lyle?
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: Fifty. Each.
- Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen': You rob me, bastard.
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: Sixty.
- Rubber Duck: Hey, take it easy, this ain't an auction, man.
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: I'm doing my job. Keeping my part of the highway safe.
- Spider Mike: Yeah, well you keep it safe in that ditch somewhere feeding flies.
- Rubber Duck: [to Lyle Wallace on the CB after he has crashed his car] Hey, until you get a little better control over that machinery, I'd suggest you lay off them acrobatics.
- Big Nasty: [On the CB] Hallelujah! Looks like we've got some long-haired friends of Jesus back there.
- Chuck Arnoldi: We'd like to know, is this convoy some sort of protest demonstration? And if it is, what's its purpose?
- Rubber Duck: Purpose of a convoy is to keep movin'.
- Widow Woman: Oh, Melissa, this is the Duck. She needs a ride.
- Rubber Duck: What happened to the XKE?
- Melissa: I sold it.
- Violet: How do you two know each other?
- Melissa: This is the guy I told you about. The one that told the cop that I was nude driving.
- Violet: Oh, I should have known.
- Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen': My handle's Love Machine. You know why they call me Love Machine? Quadraphonic sound, colour TV, I got a big bar sitting right behind me. Now, get this, a warm-water water bed. All the creature comforts, friend.'
- Rubber Duck: Hey, Love Machine, you ain't hauling Go-Go Girls, are you?
- Lizard Tongue: You got the Lizard Tongue here. Who have we got with us?
- Old Iguana: Old Iguana here! I'm a lecherous old lizard with love on my mind!
- Violet: Come on, honey, I got a little birthday surprise for you.
- Rubber Duck: I bet you do.
- [to Melissa]
- Rubber Duck: Don't you leave without me.
- [walks off with Violet, squeezing her behind]
- Rubber Duck: You ain't mad at me, are you?
- Violet: Me mad at you?
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: Listen, I'm gonna have the State Police in on this. And when we do, we're gonna lunch on your ass, you son of a bitch!
- Spider Mike: He bounces like a quasi-beaver. I'll be damned. I should have known. That's probably why he stoops so low to get cash. He's saving for one of those sex operations.
- Big Nasty: 10-4. If it'd be all right with you guys, the Bald Eagle, Sneaky Snake, and this here is Big Nasty, we'd be right proud to be part of your little old convoy! Come on.
- Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen': Sure, why not? Just slip in the back door, fellas.
- Big Nasty: Oh, we sure do thank you all and we all'd be proud to take a back door to the Rubber Duck.
- Septic Sam: You got room for one Septic Sam, the sewer man?
- Pack Rat: You got the Pack Rat and the White Rat here, and welcome aboard.
- Septic Sam: You dump it, we pump it.
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: I'm on the trail of a convoy of runaway truckers. And they're being led by a man called Rubber Duck. I suspect that they'll be crossing your state line pretty quick.
- Chuck Arnoldi: Breaker 1-9. Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck. This is Chuck Arnoldi. Can I talk to you again, please?
- Rubber Duck: Uh, this is the Duck, Chuck.
- Sneaky Snake: Well, the whole thing was a cover-up for Watergate. It went way back to Nixon. First thing to remember, Nixon - Nixon got caught with his pants down before the guys from the Washington Post had it out. And, eh, Governor Rockefeller retired as Governor of New York, who just happens to be president of Standard Oil. Not to mention his brother David - he opened up Chase Manhattan Bank for the first time in the history of the free world behind the Iron Curtain. I'm not tellin' you how to run the country, but this whole 55 double nickel was a jive-ass turkey wrap. And I don't like people giving me bull shit!
- Chuck Arnoldi: Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck. Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck. Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck.
- Spider Mike: I'm tired of seein' the way black people have to live. Went to Vietnam and got shot for the right to live in a ghetto.
- Rubber Duck: Jesus, I hope he makes it. He's going through some bad country for a black truck driver.
- Rubber Duck: Take a look at yourself. You're just a broke-down old bribe-takin' piece of meanness. You tell me, old man. What good are you?
- Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: I am the law! Don't you understand? I represent the law!
- Melissa: You really love this truck, don't you?
- Rubber Duck: I certainly do *not* love this truck. You oughta meet Ramblin' Jack Elliott. Talk about a man who loves his truck, bumper to bumper. He named his dog "Kenworth". I like knowin' how she runs but, uh, it's really the driving!
- Old Iguana: When you boys get down to Mazatlan, just order me up about four fingers of tequila in a malt glass. I'll be right behind you.
- Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen': We're doin' fine. It'll be okay. But don't let the back door slap you in the ass, buddy.