Used Cars (1980)
Gerrit Graham: Jeff
Photos
Quotes
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[President Carter on television]
President Carter : -high inflation. What is the solution?
[Television cuts to the commercial for Luke's yard taking place in Roy's yard]
Jeff : You want the solution to inflation? Hi, friends. Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Cars, where we're lowering inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living shit out of high prices. Yes sir. Here's an example. It's a 1972 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, for sixty-two ninety-nine. That price is too high.
[shoots the car]
Jeff : Yes sir. Here's another one. It's a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got a stereo. It's got white-wall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high.
[shoots the car]
Jeff : Yes sir.
[Jim appears on the car behind him in costume]
Jim the Mechanic : YAAAAAAHHHH.
Freddie Paris : [on microphone] Look out, Marshall Lucky. It's High Prices.
Jeff : Take this, you dirty ol' High Prices.
[shoots Jim, who puts on a very convincing act]
Jim the Mechanic : AHHHH. Ya got me Marshall. Ahhhhh...
Jeff : [shocked] Jesus Christ.
[winks at the screen]
Jeff : Yes sir, that's New Deal Used Cars... Now wait just a Goddamn minute. What the hell is this? Is this a 1974 Mercedes 450SL for *twenty-four thousand dollars*? That's too fucking high.
[blows up the car with dynamite. Roy watches at home]
Roy L. Fuchs : You son of a bitch.
Jeff : [laughs] Yes sir. We blew the shit out of that over-priced motherfucker just the way we blow the shit out of *all* high prices, down here at New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said? New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said?
[Television cuts back to the President]
President Carter : I have heard you, with unmistakable clarity...
Roy L. Fuchs : You son of a bitch.
[kicks the televison and electrocutes himself]
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FBI Inspector : You want to give me that again?
Jeff : Uh, well, yes. As I say, Inspector, I heard this large explosion and I rushed out, I couldn't tell what was going on. I saw the car over there in flames and all these strange little characters, you know, with towels on their heads, weird little goatees and stuff, running around yelling: "Ayatollah, Ayatollah." Then they all got in a car and drove away. I guess it was Iranian students out to discredit the American way of life. I can't imagine who else would do such a thing.
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Jeff : Rudy, what the fuck is this? Rudy, this is a red car. Holy shit! A red chariot to take my ass straight to hell!
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Jeff : Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.
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Rudy Russo : So. Roy L... What can I do you for?
Roy L. Fuchs : Uhhh... I'd like to talk to my brother.
Rudy Russo : Well, you're gonna have to talk kinda loud. He left for Miami late last night.
Roy L. Fuchs : Miami?
Rudy Russo : Yeah. Miami Beach.
Roy L. Fuchs : Miami Beach?
Jeff : Florida.
Roy L. Fuchs : I know where the fuck Miami Beach is, dummy.
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Rudy Russo : Luke told me that if you came around here to have you arrested for trespassing. Now, are you going to leave, or are we going to have to call the cops?
Jeff : Yeah, do we have to call the cops?
Roy L. Fuchs : What are you, a fucking parrot?
Sam Slaton : Come on, Roy. Let's go.
Roy L. Fuchs : Suck-ass son of a bitch.
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Jeff : [about the explanation for Luke's sudden disappearance] No-one's going to believe he went to Miami, nobody goes to Miami!
Rudy Russo : OLD people go to Miami, he's old isn't he? Where do you want him to go, Aspen?
Jeff : [looking at the '59 Edsel] Aspen? Fuck Aspen, this crate won't go around the block...
Jim the Mechanic : The fuck it won't! This motherfucker runs!
