The Cannonball Run (1981) Poster

(1981)

Burt Reynolds: J. J. McClure

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Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, and John Fiedler in The Cannonball Run (1981) Adrienne Barbeau, Jackie Chan, Farrah Fawcett, Roger Moore, Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Jack Elam, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Rick Aviles, Warren Berlinger, Tara Buckman, Bert Convy, Jamie Farr, Michael Hui, Joe Klecko, Hal Needham, Mel Tillis, and Alfie Wise in The Cannonball Run (1981) Adrienne Barbeau, Farrah Fawcett, Roger Moore, Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise in The Cannonball Run (1981) Farrah Fawcett and Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Farrah Fawcett and Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Farrah Fawcett and Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Farrah Fawcett and Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise in The Cannonball Run (1981) Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Rick Aviles, and John Fiedler in The Cannonball Run (1981) Roger Moore, Burt Reynolds, and Dean Martin in The Cannonball Run (1981)

Quotes 

  • Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : I'm Nikolas Van Helsing, professor of proctology and other related tendencies. A graduate of the University of Rangoon and assorted night classes at the Knoxville, Tennessee School of Faith Healing.

    J.J. McClure : You may be a little overqualified for this job.

  • J.J. McClure : I'm sure that doctor's a very sweet man, basically.

    Victor Prinsi : Oh, thank you.

    J.J. McClure : But don't you ever tell me where you found him. Ever.

  • J.J. McClure : Listen to what I'm telling you. You go find a doctor. Get me Dr. Kildare. Get me Dr. Livingston. Get me Dr. Frankenstein. Just get me a doctor! Go where the... Go where the doctors hang out.

    Victor Prinsi : Where is that?

    J.J. McClure : Bars, golf courses.

    Victor Prinsi : Golf course, bar. All right. Where else? Hospital!

    J.J. McClure : Try that, too.

  • J.J. McClure : What about a black Trans-Am? No, that's been done.

  • Jamie Blake : I just want to thank you for informin' them about us back in Missouri. You know, how we're flashers and sex maniacs.

    J.J. McClure : Well, I was just repayin' you for what you and the chocolate monk did back in Ohio.

    Fenderbaum : Chocolate monk?

    Jamie Blake : He can say that. Yeah, he can say that 'cause he's ridin' around with the Goodyear Blimp!

    J.J. McClure : [Looking at Vic]  He can say that. He can say that 'cause if I had the time, I'd take those rosary beads and shove 'em up your nose.

    Jamie Blake : These rosary beads? Up this nose?

    J.J. McClure : Yeah.

    Jamie Blake : Will ya take a little advice? Bring friends.

    Fenderbaum : Ha! Lots of em!

  • J.J. McClure : Look, we can't have a car with numbers on it. So, we're going to have to disguise the car somehow.

    Victor Prinsi : Alright.

    J.J. McClure : How about a big, black limousine with diplomatic plates?

    Victor Prinsi : Nah!

    J.J. McClure : Nah. I know! A bloodmobile! They wouldn't stop a bloodmobile, would they?

    Victor Prinsi : Nah!

    J.J. McClure : Nah.

    Victor Prinsi : An ice cream truck! Yeah, an ice cream truck! Y'know, they gotta get there before it melts!

  • Mr. Foyt : Well, how do you all feel, now that you have raped the American highways?

    J.J. McClure : Beautiful!

  • J.J. McClure : Excuse me. Excuse me. Hey, Mad Dog!

    Mad Dog : Hey, J.J!

    J.J. McClure : Look, you probably didn't realize this, but the parking lot's outside.

    Mad Dog : I know. The brakes went out.

    J.J. McClure : Who do you think you are? The president?

    Mad Dog : [imitating Richard Nixon]  Well, let me make one thing perfectly clear, we feel terrible about it. Now, if they can't take a joke,

    [gives the up yours arm gesture sans finger] 

  • J.J. McClure : What's Dr. Gay do?

    Victor Prinsi : He's my shrink. He was committed yesterday.

    J.J. McClure : Why?

    Victor Prinsi : He was smoking bananas. He gets very upset when he talks to 'Him'.

    J.J. McClure : So do I!

  • J.J. McClure : Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back. Thanks to your wonderful cousin, Tessie.

    Victor Prinsi : Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!

    J.J. McClure : She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!

  • [J.J. is pissed that Captain Chaos has disappeared] 

    J.J. McClure : When you don't want him, he's around! When you want him, he's not around! I'm gonna go get a beer!

    Captain Chaos : DA-DA-DUM!

  • Fenderbaum : [Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance]  Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!

    Victor Prinsi : J.J., there are two priests in that car. They want us to pull over.

    J.J. McClure : Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?

    Victor Prinsi : No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.

  • J.J. McClure : You all right, Victor?

    Victor Prinsi : Oh, I'm fine, J.J. It only hurts when I point.

  • Pamela Glover : Are you one of those volleyballers?

    J.J. McClure : Cannonballers. No.

  • J.J. McClure : They weren't 'Fathers'!

    J.J. McClure , Victor Prinsi : They were mothers!

  • Gas Station Attendant : 7-11, how can I help you?

    J.J. McClure : Pumps one and two, hit 'em!

    Gas Station Attendant : What are you, some kind of nut? You've got one unleaded there and one premium!

    J.J. McClure : She goes both ways. The round, orange moon pie with the white hat on, he'll pay for it.

  • J.J. McClure : Hey, Victor! Didya get anything to eat?

    Victor Prinsi : Yeah, I gotta lotta goodies for you guys and a Big Gulp Dr Pepper for me!

    [singing and dancing] 

    Victor Prinsi : "I'm a pepper/You're a pepper/He's a pepper/She's a pepper/Wouldn't ya like to be a pepper, too?

    J.J. McClure : [impatiently]  WILL YOU GET IN HERE?

  • Pamela Glover : I can't believe this is happening to me. This is not a joke any more. I'm being kidnapped.

    J.J. McClure : Well, you can call it kidnapping if you want to be rude.

  • [At the Portofino Inn, Victor, in his Captain Chaos persona, saves a woman's dog from drowning in the bay and is hailed a hero, but J.J. is furious, as his selfless act cost him and J.J. the championship win] 

    Victor Prinsi : [as Captain Chaos]  J.J., I saved that woman's dog.

    J.J. McClure : [furious]  Victor! We could've won that race! Do ya understand what I'm telling you? We could've won it!

    Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : You understand that? You had to go and pull that stupid stunt.

    Pamela Glover : He's right, Victor.

    J.J. McClure : We are sick of Captain Chaos. We are so sick of Captain Chaos that we could throw up. So you know what, Victor? There's not gonna be anymore Captain Chaos.

    [grabs and rips the mask off Victor's head, yells] 

    J.J. McClure : NO MORE! Ya see what I'm telling you? NO MORE!

    [snatches Victor's cape and slams it to the ground] 

    J.J. McClure : No more Captain Chaos, EVER! Now, what do ya think of that?

    [crowd laughs as Victor seemingly feels broken-hearted over J.J.'s act of poor sportsmanship] 

    Victor Prinsi : I don't care, because...

    [changes into a new superhero persona with an American Flag-like mask and cape] 

    Victor Prinsi : ... I've always wanted to be... Captain USA! Da-Da-DUM!

    [J.J. and the racers laugh] 

    Victor Prinsi : It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!

  • [the racers, all neck and neck, are approaching the finish line, with Mad Dog and Batman in the lead] 

    Mad Dog : We got 'em!

    Batman : We got 'em!

    [Suddenly, a car gets in the way, forcing Mad Dog & Batman's GMC truck to skid to a 180° stop. Bradford and Shakey's motorcycle slips and skids] 

    J.J. McClure : [screams]  LOOK OUT!

    [J.J. and Victor's ambulance and all the other cars come to a screeching halt] 

    J.J. McClure : [yells]  Okay, it's a foot race!

    Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : I've got the card!

    J.J. McClure : No, gimme that, Doc! Come on, it's a foot race!

    [All the racers storm out and begin running to the finish line to see who can be the first to punch out at the time clock and win the race] 

    Victor Prinsi : Have no fear! Chaos is here! DA-DA-DUM!

    J.J. McClure : [hands Victor the time card]  Take it and win, Captain!

    Pamela Glover : Come on, Chaos! You can do it!

    [as Victor and Marcie sprint, J.J. jumps on the other racers, tackling them to the ground] 

    Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : Does anyone need medical attention?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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