Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982 TV Movie)

George Hearn: Sweeney Todd

Quotes 

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  What is that?

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  It's priest. Have a little priest.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Is it really good?

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it's pretty fresh.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Awful lot of fat.

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  Only where it sat.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Haven't you got... poet, or something like that?

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  No, you see the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased... try the priest!

• Nellie Lovett : Now then, this might be a bit stringy, but then of course it's a fiddle player!

  Sweeney Todd : No, no. This isn't fiddle player- it's PICCOLO player.

  Nellie Lovett : How can you tell?

  Sweeney Todd : It's PIPING hot.

  Nellie Lovett : Then BLOW on it first!

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  There's a hole in the world like a great black pit/ And the vermin of the world inhabit it/ And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit/ And it goes by the name of London.

• Sweeney Todd : Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him.

  Nellie Lovett : Well, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose there's any relatives going to come poking around looking for him.

  Nellie Lovett : [pause, as an idea strikes her] 

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  But... You know me. Sometimes ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking... Seems a downright shame...

  Sweeney Todd : Shame?

  Nellie Lovett : Seems an awful waste... Such a nice plump frame wot's-his-name has... had... Has... Nor it can't be traced. Business needs a lift - Debts to be erased - Think of it as thrift, as a gift... If you get my drift...

  [Todd stares blankly] 

  Nellie Lovett : No? Seems an awful waste. I mean, with the price of meat what it is, when you get it, IF you get it...

  Sweeney Todd : [Getting the idea]  Ha!

  Nellie Lovett : Good, you got it.

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  For what's the sound of the world out there?

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound?

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Those crunching noises pervading the air?

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around...

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  It's man devouring man, my dear,

  Todd, Mrs. Lovett : [singing]  And who are we to deny it in here?

• Nellie Lovett : Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about Rear Admiral?

  Sweeney Todd : No, no. It's too salty. I prefer... General.

  Nellie Lovett : With or without 'is privates? "With," is extra!

• Nellie Lovett : Lawyer's rather nice.

  Sweeney Todd : It is for a price.

  Nellie Lovett : Order something else, though, to follow since no one should swallow it twice.

  Sweeney Todd : Anything that's lean...

  Nellie Lovett : Well, then, if you're British and loyal, you might enjoy Royal Marine. Anyway, it's clean. Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

  Sweeney Todd : Is that squire on the fire?

  Nellie Lovett : Mercy, no sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer!

  Sweeney Todd : It looks thicker, more like vicar.

  Nellie Lovett : No, it has to be grocer - it's green!

• Nellie Lovett : It's fop. Finest in the shop. Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun - that's a politician so oily it's served with a doily, not one.

  Sweeney Todd : Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run!

• Sweeney Todd : All right! You, sir! How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave! I will have vengeance - I will have salvation! Who sir? You sir? No one in the chair, come on! Come on! Sweeney's waiting! I want you bleeders. Who sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy! Not one man, no! Nor ten men, nor a HUNDRED can assuage me! I will have YOU!

  [laughs] 

• Judge Turpin : [singing]  What more can man require than love sir?

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  More than love sir.

  Judge Turpin : [singing]  What sir?

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Women.

  Judge Turpin : [singing]  Ah yes, women.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Pretty women.

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...

  Company : [singing]  Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  He served a dark and a vengeful god...

  Company : [singing]  He served a dark and a vengeful god...

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  What happened then? Well, that's the play and he wouldn't want us to give it away. Not Sweeney...

  Todd, Company : [singing]  Not Sweeney Todd... the demon barber of Fleet... Street.

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful. A foolish barber and his wife. She was his reason and his life, And she was beautiful. And she was virtuous. And he was - Naive. There was another man who saw that she was beautiful, a pious vulture of the law, who, with a gesture of his claw removed the barber from his plate. Then there was nothing but to wait and she would fall, so soft, so young, so lost, and oh, so beautiful!

  Anthony Hope : [speaking]  And the lady, sir-did she-succumb?

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Oh, that was many years ago... I doubt if anyone would know.

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  You there, my friend. Come, let me hold you. Now, with a sigh you grow warm in my hand, my friend, my clever friend. Rest now, my friends. Soon I'll unfold you. Soon you'll know splendors you never have dreamed all your days, my lucky friends. Till now your shine was merely silver. Friends you shall drip rubies...

  Nellie Lovett : [singing] 

  [simultaneously] 

  Nellie Lovett : I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd. If you only knew, Mr. Todd - Ooh, Mr. Todd, you're warm in my hand. You've come home. Always had a fondness for you, I did. Never you fear, Mr. Todd, you can move in here, Mr. Todd. Splendors you never have dreamed All your days will be yours. I'm your friend. Don't they shine beautiful? Silver's good enough for me, Mr. T.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  You'll soon drip precious rubies...

  Sweeney Todd : [holds up his razor] 

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  At last, my right arm is complete again!

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  There's a hole in the world like a great black pit/ and it's filled with people who are filled with shit/ and the vermin of the world inhabit it- but not for long! They all deserve to die! Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why: because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two. There's the one staying put in his proper place and the one with his foot in the other one's face- Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you! No, we all deserve to die! Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why: Because the lives of the wicked should be- Made brief! For the rest of us, death will be a relief- We all deserve to die!

• [last lines] 

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...

  Company : [singing]  Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  He served a dark and a hungry god...

  Company : [singing]  He served a dark and a hungry god...

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  To seek revenge may lead to Hell...

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  But everyone does it, and seldom as well as Sweeney...

  Company : [singing]  As Sweeney Todd...

  All : [singing]  The demon barber of Fleet... Street...

• Sweeney Todd : [singing]  Have charity towards the world, my pet.

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  Yes, yes, I know, my love.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  We'll take the customers that we can get.

  Nellie Lovett : [singing]  High-born and and low, my love.

  Sweeney Todd : [singing]  We'll not discriminate great from small. No, we'll serve anyone...

  Sweeney Todd , Nellie Lovett : [singing together]  - meaning anyone, and to anyone, at all!

• Sweeney Todd : [during a sit-down in the parlor]  There must be a way to the judge.

  Nellie Lovett : Bloody ol' judge, always harpin' on the bloody ol' judge. 'ere we've got a nice respectable business goin'!

• Nellie Lovett : You got any money? Listen to me! You got any money?

  Sweeney Todd : No money.

  Nellie Lovett : Then how you going to live even?

  Sweeney Todd : I'll live. If I have to sweat in the sewers or in the plague hospital, I'll live - and I'll have them!