The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985)

James Whitmore: Mark Twain

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Mark Twain : You look about as disappointed as Presbyterians in Hell!

• Mark Twain : Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody, if he can help it.

• Mark Twain : There's no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Except an old optimist.

• Tom Sawyer : [Looking at Twain's library]  These must be those classics everyone talks about.

  Huck Finn : What are classics?

  Mark Twain : Something everyone wants to have read but don't want to read.

• Mark Twain : It's time.

  Mark Twain : [Dark side]  I'm still considering whether to go. I haven't seen an atom of truth that there is a future life.

  Mark Twain : Yet I am strongly inclined to expect one. Anyway, don't be such a sissy in the face of a real adventure.

• Mark Twain : [also as an older Adam]  Wheresoever she was, there was Eden

• Mark Twain : I will continue on doing my duty, but when I get to the other side, I will use my considerable influence to have the human race drowned again, this time drowned good. No omissions. No ark.

• Mark Twain : Stormfield's a man of faith. Means he is willing to believe what he knows ain't so.

• Mark Twain : The man with an idea is a fool, until the idea succeeds.

• Becky Thatcher : How come you want to catch that comet so bad, Mr. Twain?

  Mark Twain : Oh-ho-ho, the comet and I are part of the plan, angelfish. No doubt the Almighty said here, "There go those two unaccountable freaks. They came into this world together, they must go out together."

• Mark Twain : A harp, a hymn book and wings? Good god, what a swindle. I'm led to consider a different path. Heaven for climate, Hell for company.

• Mark Twain : Let me see, there are a number of things I want to say to you before I go.

  [Clears throat] 

  Mark Twain : Always obey your parents.

  Mark Twain : [Dark side]  ... when they are present.

  Mark Twain : Be respectful of your superiors.

  Mark Twain : [Dark side]  ... if you have any.

  Mark Twain : Rise early, for it is the early bird that catches the worm.

  Mark Twain : [Dark side]  I once knew a man who tried it. Got up at sunrise. Horse bit him.

• Mark Twain : The human race, in all its poverty, has only one truly effective weapon: laughter. Against the assault of laughter - ha-ha-ha-ha! - nothing can stand.

• Tom Sawyer : Supposing we do die? Is there really a heaven or a hell?

  Mark Twain : Oh, I don't know about that. I don't wish to express an opinion. You see, I have friends in both places.

• Mark Twain : Don't worry. Providence protects children, and idiots. I know it's true. I've tested it.

• Becky Thatcher : Well, Tom and Huck and l, well, see, we're not so sure...

  Mark Twain : That l know what l'm doing up here? Angelfish, it's just like piloting a river. You get to know the shape of it. Like following a hall at home in the dark. And even if you feel some fear, you know no harm can come to you because you've traveled that hallway a hundred times in nothing but bare feet and faith.

• Mark Twain : That? Oh, that was just a little Writer's Block, that's all.

• Mark Twain : Naked people have little or no influence upon Society.